VERY URGENT PLEASE
I need 17 people to come to my place so we can watch a movie. I wanted to watch it alone but the movie is for 18 and above.
Category: Jokes
one way not to burn calories
a man walked into a cafe and saw a very big but really cute dog squatting near a small boy
being a dog lover, he wanted to touch it and then asked the boy ‘does your dog bite?’ and the small boy answered, ‘no not at all’
the man then reached to touch the dog and immediately, the dog held unto his hand and almost took a whole chunk of it off.
the man was infuriated and asked the boy in anger ‘but you said your dog didn’t bite?’ and the boy replied with a little smile, ‘but sir, that is not my dog’
.Joel Osteen
no one burns any calorie jumping to conclusions. hear the whole story first, and ask the right questions. patience is a virtue. God bless you.
.ucTRUTH
LAUGH IT OFF
A man just got saved and the pastor decided to give him 5mins during the Sunday sermon to share his testimony. on Sunday, the man got up to the pulpit and shared how God has saved him but instead of going down, he requested to do a little palm reading.
the pastor was surprised and felt like the man was out doing himself but then he kept his cool and asked, ‘what kind of palm reading exactly do you want to do’ and the man replied ‘oh it wouldn’t take time i just wanted to read palm23.
.Joel Osteen
he didn’t know any better, God saved him anyways. it is totally free if only you believe and come. God bless you.
.ucTRUTH
START WHERE YOU ARE
John Osteen the father of Joel Osteen once preached a sermon on Samson only to realize at the very end that he had been calling him Tarzan all along. .Joel Osteen
He didn’t know any better. never stop for lack of complete knowledge keep pushing.
.ucTRUTH
bRaIN TeAseRSss!!!
Let’s how well you do!
1. How many sides has a circle?
2. If there are two monkeys in each corner of a room, how many monkeys can say they are looking at other monkeys?
3. How far can a dog run into a forest?
4. Jenny works in a fruit and vegetable shop. When she was born she weighed 3kgs. She is now aged 18 and is 1.6 metres tall. What does she weigh?
5. A farmer has 5 haystacks in one field, 10 haystacks in a second field and 8 in the third field. He brought them all together. How many haystacks does he have?
6. There are 8 crows on a wall and a farmer shoots one. How many are left?
7. A truck driver is going down a one-way street the wrong way. A policeman looks over and waves a good morning to him. Why?
8. Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men?
9. One man has three sacks of corn on his back and another man has four sacks on his back. Who has the heavier load?
10. When your tonsils are removed it is called an Tonsilectomy. When you have your appendix removed it is called an Appendectomy. What is it called when a growth is removed from your head?
*you can drop your answers as comments
*answers will be published tomorrow, Sunday 28th July. Have fun with friends and family. God bless!
-Chief Editor
RHETORICAL!
*What are the names of the two people shaking hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ?
*If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make ?
*Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?
*Whats the name of the lady that says “please enter your secret number” at the ATM machine.
WRONG PICK UP!
A man with a very posh car picked a prostitute on a narrow road after which they headed for a 6-lane highway and picked up speed. The following discussion ensued; Woman: you have a very nice car oga. Man: o thank you I just got it Woman: that’s nice I bet it must cost a lot. Man: not really I just stole it at gun point. Woman: ah oga you are a thief! But emm are you not scared of police on the road since you don’t have the car particulars. Man: nah I forged some but I don’t have drivers license.
Woman: but why?
Man: because I don’t know how to drive. Woman: ah! then why did you enter this highway?
Man: so I can escape the police.
Woman: oya just reduce your speed and drop me please!
Man: I don’t know where the brakes are. Woman: mogbeee! Why did you pick me in the first place?
Man: they say a problem shared is a problem half solved!
Christ a poet 