The world is enraptured by an eery turbulence.
The kind that makes me want to step out of my skin and watch my flesh, blood and bones wriggle on the floor, half dead. She rides me like a wild horse and I am more than receiving of her deathly blows.She hates me, because You Love Me.
You, The Universe of the Universe. I am willing to die a thousand times to get away from her, she knows this, she is furious, because there has been no guilt in years, only this freedom that comes from swift forgetfulness. This silence that comes from immense helplessness.
But often now I ask, What must I do to be saved daily? Nothing He says, “Nothing and everything”, He smiles at me His smile is fire, I melt. The place of surrender I do not quickly recognize till I have rebelled.
What would it take for you to open my eyes and keep them there? “Nothing and everything, sweetheart just STAY”… Let me never leave this place of sanity I beg. This battle its for True Life, I’m unashamed.
For me to rise again and again, the ultimate plan, the reason you came.
” just part of it my Bride, for this cause and much more I came, my honor on the line, an eternal law I had to obey, That being connected to you only in death could I LIVE and now you must do the same”…
Cold Love brought shivers down my spine, like breath forming misty smoke In the Presence of His divine…
” You staked it all when you chose to redeem, it was Life or death, you chose to Live”
Life has never been easier ever since, knowing fully well that the life I live now is His..
I saw in His eyes the Love of Loves, a burning wrath completely satisfied.
“Don’t you get it My Bride, I’ve seen it all, I know how it ends, before you had the choice, I chose to Live… I’d never leave my own, my depth in you calls me deeper, an eternal bond, a pull I can’t refuse, wait for me, I come quickly, I desire to be united with me, more than you think, Wait For Me…”
To be continued…
“I can’t remember if I seduced him or if he came calling for me.”
All I remember was the loud stumps of angry feet drawing closer and closer. Huge arms whisked me away from him and led me to the slaughter ground. My partner wasn’t with me. I don’t know why… but they let him go.
Fear gripped me.
My stomach rumbled.
My feet quaked.
So this is it for me? A painful death by stoning. I could imagine the heavy bricks landing on my soft skull. I knew the penalty of adultery, but I did it anyway. The fear of punishment didn’t stop my desires. Why is sin so strong even with the law?
As I kept thinking, they dragged me into the temple and brought me to the teacher. He was called ‘Rabbi.’
“We caught this woman in adultery”, they said. “And according to Moses’ law,” they continued. “We must stone her to death. So what do you say?”
He didn’t reply them. He stooped low and wrote in the dust. My heart almost stopped. It seemed like my life was in his hands.
His reply would save me from death…
His reply would save me from condemnation..
His reply would give me a second chance.
“My Lord, please say something!” my eyes screamed
Just then, he looked up and said “All right! But let he who has no sin be the first to cast the stone.”And he continued writing on the dust.
The murmurings gave way…
and one by one… each of them went their ways. Leaving me alone in dismay.
I was dumbfounded! So, we all have sinned? I thought it was just me.
He looked at me and said; “Where are your accusers? No one condemns you?”
“No one Lord.” I replied.
“Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” He said.
And I never left his side since that day.
Our bond was gone
Torn by playing self’s strings, a concerto to otherness
A faint flame of nascent doubt nagged into crushing inferno
Thrusting and thrashing through trust’s defenses
To throw open heart’s doors to alternative truth
A deluge wild and free, everywhere and purposeless
Your walls gave way to vast fields to explore
Space filled with beautiful flowers and murderous fanged beasts
My emotions were terror-driven ecstacy, happy masks for painful dying
As I danced about independence’s gift, understanding and doom
Life was exile
Life was being lost, for life was lost
Life was the highway’s speeding car without brakes
Life was the pungent presence of putrefaction
But I hid my shame, nostalgia de la boue finely propped up
Our love was worn
Battered by sounds from within
Counterfeits of true creation ballad
I swam the me-tune, the egocentric universe
I found it without stars, cold, dark, merciless
Memories of you welled up on the inside, a piercing plea
To call me back to your walled protecrorate
The infinite love-space in which I now roam
You were my way home, falling to become the link bridge
You are my home, the One in whom I’m complete.