I thought I had it all but no!
I did not have it all and truly it drove me crazy
I could write into the future
Yeah, like jump on my literary time-machine and write the future
Just like they do in the science fiction movies
I could write to describe how anxious people could be
How they loose their strength for the present, worrying about the future
How they ignorantly shift their sorrows into tomorrow
Their anxiety, their underlying curse
But the truth is we are not in the future
and the anxious one is me
So I decided to take care of my anxiety
But how am I supposed to treat this disease?
What should I do to restore my peace?
Would it be too weird to listen to the other me?
I mean the Holy Spirit, wouldn’t that be too crazy?
Truth is, as much as I say I need help from God,
As much as I cry out for Him to take control and deliver me
I just as much do not want to let go and let God
I do realize crying never really heals
No amount of acknowledging my hurt sets me free
At the end of the day, it still depends on me
Or you, yes you
The you that won’t just accept the truth
The you that keeps thinking of what should have been
That you ought to surrender to Him
Yes, the solution lies in Him
The God in me, call Him Holy Spirit
But I must consciously let Him do His thing
Truth is, I don’t have an answer yet
As to how it will all turn out in the end
But I know God is ready for me, He is always ready
Always available to give me the peace I desire
I just hope I run to Him fast
Before I lose my mind and my way
I am still wrestling with the inner me
But I’ll keep running till I reach Him
‘Cos His hands are always outstretched to me