Doubts, Me and God.

When I first faced doubts about God’s love for me, I was thirteen years old. I would love that you read to the end.

Experience has taught me how natural doubts are. They never mean that you are not a child of God. They only show that you are living in the physical too because, really, we are living in two worlds simultaneously, the spiritual and the physical so while we live in a world that is intangible, we also live in a world that our five senses interact with. Tangible. Point is, I am a child of God and I doubted.

I didn’t lose a loved one to doubt God’s love for me. I did lose but I’d already started doubting before then. I made prayers and didn’t see the answers. I tried to convince myself that God had a better answer because I was told that God usually had three answers, it was either a ‘Yes’, a ‘No’ or ‘Wait/Not now’.

Well, wasn’t God just unpredictable? I remember back then, I’d go to a church meeting and see other people fall under the “anointing” and think to myself, “What about me?” When prophecies came for people, I’d pray and hope that I would at least receive mine. I doubt I still need to say I didn’t. This was all before I lost a cousin to cancer. I’d watched my mum develop high blood pressure while she spent all her money treating my cousin with both ‘white’ and ‘black’ medicine before she passed on and everyone said “Let the will of God be done”. So I doubted.

One day at school, the principal said, “God will punish everyone that steals” annoI just felt, well, they deserve it. Truth is, you might find a lot of people say God punishes people but He loves them. This would have been fine if they said it with the plain reason the writer of the Hebrews had when he said, “The Lord chastens the son He loves” but no, They believe once you lose your job, it would be for something wrong (in the sight of God) you have done or you fall ill and people start asking, “Have you asked God for forgiveness?” “Have you really reflected on what could have led to this?” Oh. No one’s ever asked you that? But I bet one day, it seemed  like you woke on the wrong side of the bed and you started asking, “What have I done wrong?” Done wrong to who? And getting punished by who? 

So deep seated in our consciousness is the idea that God is holy and will therefore do whatever is “just” and “right” as He deems fit, no matter how evil it is. And no. We don’t like to call anything something as ‘killing’ evil if we “know” God to be the doer. We say things like, “Maybe God just took his daughter to test his love for Him. Weren’t those assumptions? Plus when did the value of evil change depending on who does it? There were doubts.

But Apostle James said God does no evil. He said by the Holy Ghost that God is not tempted of evil neither does He tempt any man that way. God said we should not kill or steal and infact, the ten commandments are written in one line. Love. He would not do contrary because He is love and He is unchanging. The fruits of the Spirit do not include killing or anger or even jealousy. Why even did Jesus say “Be like your Father who causes His sun to shine on both the just and the ungodly?” and why did Apostle Paul say in Ephesians 5 that we should be imitators of God by walking in love if all this  doesn’t show that God has just one disposition? Love! I didn’t know and so I doubted.

I can say my doubts were dispelled completely as I learnt from the writer of Hebrews that Jesus is the image of God, the full representation of who God is and I gleaned from the prophecy of Jeremiah (31:34) that we will all know God and the stability of His character when we understand how He forgives. How does He forgive? 

Jesus Christ, when He was asked how many times forgiveness is required, gave a brief reply heavily laddened with meaning. Seventy times seven. He was saying “Behave like God”, ” Forgive uncountably”, “Do not bear the number in mind”, “Forgive ahead of time”.

Same way Apostle Paul revealed in Corinthians that In Christ, God reconciled men to Himself and everyone who believed (in Christ) was a new creature whose sins were not being put against him. The Holy Ghost was teaching through the apostle that we receive forgiveness as a gift and that you were forgiven before you even faltered. What were those things that made me doubt again? What are those things that make you wonder, ‘Oh where is God? Why does He seem to be like this?

Well, Jesus, the image of God healed and if He healed, it means God doesn’t put illnesses in people or “permit” them. We live in a world whose system is dead. If Jesus cast out devils, He was opening our eye to say, ‘See! You did nothing to deserve this. God is not in it!” How about when He calmed the storm? He was saying, “God’s hand isn’t in these natural disasters” Don’t you love God? It was personally a relief to me to know that the enemy, subtle thief as he is was the complete evil. It unburdened me to know God is always for His creation.

Even as I read the popular John 3:16, I learnt that God’s love is seen in the fact that He gave Christ(His son) to die and take our place in judgement so that we are declared innocent. Apostle Paul supported the truth by again declaring in Romans that Christ showed His love for us by dying not for a good or righteous-in-themselves humanity but for a world of sinners and in Ephesians, he buttressed his point saying that God’s show of love supersedes all that we can imagine or hope for because He blessed us with all good things in God (spiritual blessings), made us partakers of the divine nature and given us authority by seating us with Him. Ah!

I tell you! I doubted no more!

I’ve been through the valley of doubt but have learnt that, in that valley is where the enemy wants to have us all. In the pit of fear. I’ve learned by gazing on the love of Christ that I can put faith in the God who is good and true. I can put faith in the God who loves because it is His nature, not based on my doings and appearances. I have learnt much more that God’s love for me is primarily seen in the eternal life in His son(1Jn 5:11-13) and the gift of no condemnation(Rom.8:1) all my possession because I received His spirit on believing(Eph 1:13), not necessarily in good grades or income flow or working inter-personal relationships because they are controlled by men. 

All the while, it hadn’t been God. It was me. My mind being tilled by the enemy. I now not only receive edification, prophecies or healings but I also give by the Spirit at work in every believer because I have learnt that faith in His name and acting on what the word says is all the victory I need ‘coz there is no limit to what God can do through the willing. 

I renewed my mind in the word and began to know God. Light came and dispelled darkness. Love came and chased fear. Faith came and doubts were gone. I have learnt to take my stand with God’s word. You should.

by Buzhoo (2019)

Advertisements

I HAVE SEEN LOVE

Though the sun
Escapes beyond the rifts the cloud makes
The scent of dawn
Woven in sounds of streams and breeze

All birthing from genesis
From young- never cease
What’s been said,
Saying let there be light

None can stand His words
Through spirit-life words, we were formed
Blessing invoked when He said,
Let’s make man in our image

After our likeness
Having what he loves-
A lofty hope of divine liberty
Our will free, we were his

He in fore-age,
Knew us by names
Portioned us into diverse ministries
By the fore known destinies

Giving grace, blessing us His’
From a strong heart
Sunk and sickened
With excess of love

TM Sungs (2019)

KINGDOM LEGISLATORS

The devil is not as smart as you’ve always thought he was. If you don’t believe me, ask him why he couldn’t kill Joseph’s dream and why he killed Jesus the Christ instead of sparing Him. As a matter of fact, he’s very bad at the game of chess; he doesn’t know when to kill and when to spare, very bad.

The devil is also very timid. He depends completely on human beings all the days of his life; if you want to be more tickled, ask the serpent if he’s content living on dust. Man is dust. The devil depends on the information and intelligence of man to carry out his enterprise.

When I say man, I mean regular human beings, those who are still a little longer than the angels.

However, if you are a child of God, then I think you’d want to hear what I am about to say next:

Matthew 5:13:

[13]Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men- KJV

If I were to use Strong’s concordance to amplify this, look what it would sound like:

Ye are the prudence, the wisdom that the earth depends on but if no one can perceive your counsel because you seem foolishly faithless and clueless as the rest, haven’t you become a huge disappointment? Get ready because you would soon be disdained and contemned.

He made you a preserver, a seasoning for the world. You give life and taste to the world. Recall he’s raised you a king and a priest. Why? Here’s the answer: you have his life in you. He’s translated you from the slavery of sin and death to the kingship of life in him.

You are not just a mere human being with senses to help you live but rather a king to rule, a priest to ordinate so when you get in the mud of life’s issues, you can wriggle out and stand to affirm your desire. You should not be controlled by the system of this place. You are Christ’s ambassador operating with the heavenly system living heaven on earth.

See, the devil, he tries, oh yes really hard but we have got better understanding than to be held captive. Listen, the people the devil is depending on are clueless themselves. Deal shrewdly with them, the world and show them who got the counsel of the Spirit. Do not follow the band wagon of the faithless, those who are not sure about a thing. You’ve got the wisdom of the LORD, child of God. You have more wisdom than Solomon did because Wisdom Himself has made His home in you; He is Jesus the Christ. You know what to do and what to say each time, exercising your authority.

Needless to say, would you like to know one easy way to draw out what you got? Do not ever doubt the Spirit who is one with you in your heart because you are by default setting a legislator. Believe.

The just shall live by faith.

 

© Philippa and Favour Omeje,

 2019.

Ripped pages

Ripped pages
Torn soul
Burning heart
Out of control
Nothing seems whole
Lost sight of the goal
Now stuck at a corner
Sin knows how to cajole
Tongue twist your mind
Makes sure he leaves you blind and weary
Leaves you sailing in his storm
He will always change the norm
But I choose not to conform
I choose to see the calmness in God’s voice and faith in his word
That is my choice
For when trials come, I will always rejoice

Isoje Victor
© 2019

WHAT YOU SEE

It is a fact that when you look Up to the sky
You will see a bird or a plane
But what really comes to mind, what would enters the brain
If you think fast like the Flash
Is a God who picked you from the trash; bin,

Loved you with all your Sin
His son took lash that scratched his back like heat rash
Took spears to his side so he could bleed your mind off its ignorance
Made you see his light that you can make a round about of your life

And despite all your hurt that might have cut you deep like a knife
Plus the strife you faced and falter,
He brings you grace and all your failures he can alter
Will Make your body his Altar as your sight is fixed on his Word

You will soar like that bird
Become Batman when everybody around you only see Bruce Wayne
Then you will understand your efforts without him are Vain
And your Success story you can attain
If you just stay on the same lane with him,
He will give you power like you just work out in the gym
Make you a Star in his block buster film
But if you fail,

Well,
Blame your Eyes
Maybe, just maybe it advised your Mind wrong
Sees Failure when all he says is you are a success
Called you cursed when all he says is you are bless
But then, you can address your case like he did on that cross
As he took away your failure so he could add a dress of grace to your suitcase
That your tongue will only talk of his goodness,

For that will be the testimony you will attest to
So the next time you see Temptation or trials
Just Set your Eyes on the Hill
Take in his word like prescription pill
Then Chill,
Because your help is also staring you back in the face

Isoje Victor
© 2019