What if it is not too late to love? What if finding happiness is more real than ideal? What if love and happiness is for now? What if you are not too old to change? What if you have a clean and fresh slate now to rewrite your story? What if God asks you to make your first ever wish now? What would that be, what would you want?
I would want a perfect smoothie blend of love and happiness and happiness over and over again. Listen, I would let God know how much I believe in finding love, happiness and my utopia before I die. I’ll let Him know too that for me, peace and serenity is not just a promise fulfilled only in a fairy nice chocolate box love story written by my ever fantasizing mind. I know that I am a product of my mind, and that my mind is the product of my experiences good and bad, and of my environment too.
I am the woman I am today because of all that my mind has picked up until today.
In other words, issues ranging from my choice of a pair of slippers, lipstick and beauty regimen to how I respond to a crisis, be it in a relationship or in sickness is within me and not without me. So if I am not happy about the woman I have become today, then I don’t have to change nothing but my mind. I simply have to renew my mind by reconditioning it with the right experience, and with the right environment, that way my mind changes, and if my mind changes, I am changed, and if I am changed, then I’d be happy. If I am not happy about my natural inclinations, my usual responses, my most normal choices, and even the outcomes of them, I know that I need not play the blame game but spend my time getting the right experience and of course the right environment. And if you ask me what those are I’d say Love is. See, I believe in love. I believe in finding happiness. I believe in the dream of a woman… to be found out by her man.
I had always been in that place where a woman just dreams. I had dreamt severally about this imaginary man who would make me his woman and treat me like his queen. I was far from being perfect but I had my little long list. I needed a strong man and a real man to protect me, someone who would be faithful to me, and an able shoulder to cry on. I wanted my man to be someone who would just listen and comfort me, a man who would be a friend, a big brother I never had and the father I lost early. I needed a man who could and would provide all my needs and still consider my wants, a man who would just love me with or without makeups – I love looking good anyways. And of course I wanted a man who would be a gentleman for me and still not let me push him around. I wanted him handsome. He had to have a good sense of humor and an intelligence quotient that I could never match. My man had to be a very romantic lover whose words and kind gestures would make me tear up. I craved for a man whose gaze would be lovingly unbearable and who I know would enjoy watching me sleep. I wanted a soul mate. I longed for this man to come quickly, notice me as love stories go and take me along with him. Like the woman at the well I went from man to man hoping to find my man. Something seemed to be missing – I was never satisfied. None ever fit me like lock and key. I always left these men unsatisfied – I couldn’t really afford to be unhappy. The gap in my heart needed to be filled. I was that doughnut with a hole, I was thirsty.
At a point I thought I was asking for too much wanting all I wanted but thank God a man filled that void. When I wallowed in the emptiness within me, when my soul wasted away, I found love. I found love when I least expected to. I found love when I didn’t know He had always been there. I felt I had waited for too long not knowing that He was the one who had done all the waiting. He had wooed me on several occasions but I never took note of Him – oh how enduring is the love of my Galilean lover. I heard His lines but I never seemed to get it. “BELIEVE AND RECEIVE” He said, and when I accepted His proposal I came alive. Like the woman at the well, He knew me too well. He knew and saw all that I ever did yet He loved me. My Galilean lover is everything I ever craved in a man. His muscles were toned from carpentry, and His Words sharp enough to chase my accusers. He wrapped me in His love and I fear nothing. He is that gentleman who still never changes His mind.
He is Meekness and Majesty, Manhood and Deity, aka Velvet and Steel. You may argue any case with Him but be sure that He cannot be trapped by logic – He is Philosophy and Logic. Oh He is so romantic, His style of proposal top notch. His life the diamond ring – very costly and guess what He never sleeps, He never slumbers because He loves to watch me sleep. He is that perfect man for the perfect me – at least He said, and that is final! In His love letter, He told me that I am His righteousness and He is my right standing. I don’t have to impress Him – He loves me! Death cannot do us part because we live forever. With my Yeshua, I am never jealous or insecure because He is too intoxicated to dump me – besides He says “I will never leave you or abandon you”.
So for that reason, I am here to share my man.
“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of man, but of God.” -John 1:12-13.
“But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into eternal Life.” -John 4:14.
On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out saying “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. “He who believes in Me as the Scriptures has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’’ -John 7: 37- 38.
By Favouromeje, 2016.