Category: Monologue

A word a day keeps the devil away…

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That was what Jesus meant when he quoted the scriptural text that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of God’s mouth. Not only food keeps us healthy, God’s word too. It gives such joy that is oil for the skin and strength to the bones, as the wise man psalmist rightly said. The next time you feel faint at heart or defeated in spirit, watch God’s word lift you from that illness thus healing you as you meditate/chew on those bars, speaking your body into God’s provisions of life for you.

– Doebi
(c) 2020

Years Ago

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About 4 years ago
I slammed the doors against the world
It hated me rightfully because that was the energy I gave
Stayed behind those shut doors waiting for approval
Fathoming a route of escape
From the confidence behind me
I am entitled to be happy—aren’t I?
We stood side by side on the same floors—we have flaws
We asked to be forgiven—we have our levels of offensiveness
But the gravity I put on my incapabilities seemed to work fine on me
Disallowing every created escape velocity I needed to enter the Believe space

I created this boundary
The IM between perfections
Below this boundary, I couldn’t feel happy
It was ravage upon ravage
This soul was dying

Then someone knocked with these words “I love you”
Go away I responded, no one does love a misfit
“But I do and that is why I have decided to take your place while you take mine
Come Live my life and I will sort yours out
Use my garment threaded with love and if you assume anything less than I promise
Feel free to come to these premises, knock and the prince of this world shall welcome you”

I didn’t return
The light it brought subdued my unbelief
And restrained me of myself

Ademola Adeshino

©2020

SO

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So if I
Let it fly
My flesh on floating wind
Stripped of skin that covered naked me
Bared for more than all to see
Will you see light?

I know it’s easier to cover up our crimes of Adam’s curse
Designers help our course
As we pass in flying colours and different skins
Cotton, nylon, wool and silk
Maybe it’s time be tore protection
Stop
Hiding behind all that our money can or cannot buy

Come unclad
And for once be accused of nudity

For I know you can tell
From how uptight a man walks

And how assured a man talks

With whom he had laid

For I’m yet to see a man covered with flesh
Smeared with the husky smell of lover, God

For as much as one man loves to cover up before another
No man feels the need to cover up before their lover

Strip!

– UC Truth
© 2020

You are a Blessing and that’s no joke at all.

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It is tempting!

Especially when you live in a country like Nigeria where you are struggling to make ends meet here, trying to raise a Godly family in Nigeria, watching the level of corruption in the system, living daily in fear of kidnap, rape, one chance, 419, Islamist agenda’s, neck deep in Insurgence, SARS ‘wahala’ , lets not even get into NEPA and politics. Bottom line, with all this temptation left right and centre, my brothers and sisters

It is very tempting! To dwell on the curse.
To sleep with a negative and overly cautious mind, always anxious and suspecting every feather that drops next to you.
It is tempting to pay more attention to the curse.
But listen to this as you read carefully, we all must be conscious about Blessing others.
Pray the blessing upon yourself and your family every time. Pray for those who hate you, bless those who curse you, this is the key to make us thrive.
Why? you might ask?
The answer is simple, Where the Blessing exists, the Curse cannot!

Where the Blessing exists, the Curse cannot.

If I am blessed and you are blessed and your families are blessed and the ones who hate you are blessed, then there is a blessing in the Land and the Curse is inevitably lifted.

This has been God’s strategy from the beginning. He looked upon a dead and dark world and on it He poured an Eternal Blessing. A Blood so pure it washes clean all who receive His touch.

The root word “Bless” means to “Be marked by Blood”. A far more deeper meaning than its mistaken cousin “Bliss” which refers to the pleasures of things.

To pray for the Blessing of God on all people and upon all nations is to reinforce the place of Light in this earth.
It is to invoke an everlasting covenant God cut in His very own Blood. Living Blood He used to build the earth’s New foundation.
The one that we have not yet seen but by every faithful “God Bless you” we speak, we believe.
In every heartfelt prayer for the nations, for the ones who hate us, for a lost generation found in Christ we believe.
We are Marked by Eternal Covenant to mark others. Blessed to Bless nations.

No pipe that water flows through can ever be dry.

Today deliberately choose, decide to be a blessing. Speak Life and not death into situations, Shine light in honesty and truth , don’t cower in darkness. Don’t you dare blend in the crowd. You are made to stand out, to be a shining example, a city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

If you didn’t know before, now you do.

You Are A Blessing.

———–

Wahala: Nigerian slang for “troubles” or “problems”

©Msray 2019

A Letter To My Friend Seeking

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Dear Ijay, 

I am a firm believer in the need for people to unravel themselves. And this is true of every sincere person I have known.

We all get to a point where we pull things apart, sometimes by accident. In our soul and mind, bit by bit we spread all our pieces in a bid to know ourselves, to understand the ‘why’s’ without any demanding interference and this is good.

This sort of chaos unfolding is common when you have been stifled all your life. You are longing to know  – ‘Is my life being defined by what I have been conditioned to be?’, ‘Who am I really when no one is pushing me?’. So somewhere in the midst of this ruckus there arises a suffocating need to either free and continue to conform or be free and allow yourself transform, into who you truly are.

I have had to unravel this scroll of a life for myself too and I am still unravelling. Like the best kind of book with a climax and downfall every good story should have, I have gasped, laughed out loud, I’ve been shocked out of my wits!, bawled in frustration, been enveloped in cruel drowning silence. I have screamed loud enough for the quantum world to hear (into my pillow that is) and breathe a sigh of relief with my salt stained face. I have found my unfolding to be painfully beautiful in its honestly true and  deepest form.

Ijay, permit me to share with you what I have learned.

It was never my conditions that defined me, it was always who I chose to be, freedom isn’t free. After all said and done, constraint still posed an essential companion.

Knowledge begets responsibility and where knowledge is a full head, responsibility is an understanding heart that knows when and how to act.

There are truths that resonate within this stubborn blood and bone I peel away from my soul day by day. It is beyond social conditioning, unravelling this way brings me face to face with the perfection of intricate and carefully thought out design. I did not just fall out of the sky neither am I a mere miracle of Oduduwa in the sense of a tale. No.

I was formed from a spark of light in the dark watery depths of my mothers womb, where egg and sperm collide. This effect must have a cause, my perfect design daily combated by jealous imperfection screams of a perfectly covert designer.

It is why no matter how much I call myself god I have never been able to spell it with a big G. or have you?

I could never lie to the multiple layers of prickly cells underneath my skin. something of a truth has been weaved into my DNA. I cannot deny me and with this singular act of adrenal rebellion, I have learned the touch of peace.

It is cool and calm but it does not always put us at ease. When things started to change inside me, the world around seemed to align accordingly. If my heart hated it then I didn’t want it and there went my taste for addiction.

My Dear Friend, do not ever let anything stop you from unravelling. It is a necessary piece in this puzzle called life. There will be beauty and pains, you must experience fully. Unravel without the biases, without the trends, pay no mind to the hype elaborately expressed beliefs of  people (especially on social media).

Listen to the dirges of your body, those dreary songs that beg for more and lead to no end. Drown them out by listening more to the yearnings of your heart. Learn to sit on the ground, legs curled up beneath your core as you separate truth from the lies, the feelings from the facts, the assumptions from whats real. Don’t ever be afraid of this process, all of creation is on your side.

Soon you will cease to be ashamed of being naked, alone at 3am in front of the mirror. You will learn to say sweet things into your eyes because you know there is someone beautiful within, who is desperate to meet you.

In all of this Ijay,

I pray you fall. Deeply in love with the process of seeking and finding.

I pray you fly. Far above the noise of the earth.

I pray you’re unafraid. Of knowing you have a beginning and an end and maybe your end is endless.

And  if you find that you are eternal, know that it is okay to be all this and Forever.

 

With all of Heavens Love,

Msray 

 

 

 

 

 

Tell Me The Truth.

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“Truth is always thrown under the bus”

You see statements like this?
They are the problem with the world,
Scratch that,
they are the problem with us.

If Truth is a concept
You cant depend on it
In fact you shouldn’t
I know I can’t
first of, what is a concept?

A concept is,
“an abstract or general idea,
inferred or derived from specific instances.”

I don’t know that seems pretty inconsistent if you ask me.

If truth is merely abstract/ general ideas inferred. ( conclusions drawn from logical judgements made on the basis of circumstantial evidence)
The question will be;
How many billion circumstances does it take to produce the actual ” concept of truth”?

If and when still hypothetically speaking, you find the concept of truth, from these billions of circumstances, how do we trust it or them, when its so circumstantial

Let’s make a list of circumstances in life shall we?
I’m just kidding
That’s impossible

If the entire population of the world is 6 billion (fight the figures at your own peril I’m no statistician)
It simply means we have 6 billion times thousands of thousands of possible truths per circumstance

That’s a lot of truths
not to mention scary mathematics.

That’s aeons of concepts of truth that have not yet been subject to the basics of direct observation, criticism, I don’t know, critical analysis of the circumstances perhaps but I digress

Since we can’t talk to 600 billion, let’s talk to you and me.
if I believe in the “concept of truth”, it would mean that Truth is mine to define based on my circumstance

Let’s say in a day I laugh, cry, get betrayed get robbed lose a friend, eat ice cream, win 100million on bet naija, get a free trip to Malibu,

My truth will be defined 9 times that day, based on the 9 different experiences I had.

I guess that’s enough truth concepts for one day

Because I can’t even figure out which of my Truths or your Truths can be thrown under the bus.
Especially if you didn’t have anything good happen to you in your own day.

Do you feel my Headache already?…

Truth needs to be consistent, singular, standard, absolute, solid, steady, real and beyond the dynamic influence of your shape shifting circumstance, to be of any useful help to you.

Truth has to be greater than you for your own good.

Truth has to remain consistent whether you’re experiencing bitter or sweet (And even this is subject to your tongues opinion because taste varies and sometimes perception of taste is preconditioned to other circumstances we have been exposed to. mheeen these things can be so deceptive)

Truth must have and be tested, tried, found worthy, faithful and uncompromising.

Truth should not be intimidated by our circumstances, must be; “bring it on I can take it”, “it doesn’t matter I’m in control”, ” nope you were wrong there”, “yup you did the right thing, move on now”, unashamed, unafraid, unmoved, unshakable, unstoppable, unbribable, sustainable, self sustained, willing to die to remain true.

Sound familiar?

hmmm Truth you are so real, I could almost touch you.
Not concept but Essence, you’re essential for my survival, my stability, its funny I feel like I know you.
its strange feels weird, I don’t just want to say “the truth”
I want to be true…. its personal.

Can you really deny this subconscious dialogue?
that when it comes down to Truth or Lie it gets personal,
like its not just you and the characters in your circumstance

but its
1.You
2.The Character(s)
3. The Lie &
4. Truth

In your circumstance, you should choose to follow the way of truth and even if you lose all you thought you had, eventually you’d have what’s really yours,….. peace.

“mhen I lost everything but at least I stayed true”

That right there, that’s life.

You only stay true when you look truth in the face, watch truth pierce through you, and still you accept truth.

“you’re right, I was wrong, I’m sorry”

You are not Truth, but you can accept Truth in every circumstance and stay in the image and likeness of Truth,
You can Stay/Be True.

So what is truth? I asked and why does truth feel so real and personal? ( yup I’m asking for us all)

Jesus answered;
“I am the way, the Truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me”.

That’s John 14:6 ( The Bible)

ahhh now I get it,
this is Truth
I believe.

©Msray_2018

SECRET PLACES.

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Are you hiding or are you waiting?
What are you doing, when you say you’re “praying”?

When you’re quiet, what are you thinking? 

When you’re silent, what are you saying?

What is the posture of your Heart?

These are questions I ask myself. 

For you it might be the other way around.

Am I sent or am I lousy?

Do I have the message or am I just looking for attention?

Am I serving or just striving to be served one day?

The matters of the heart. Its what Christ came to fix.

When we speak grand thoughts but live horrible lives.. 

Who are we fooling when we mix with profanity?

We only become unbearable, the world is sick of hypocritical Christianity.

Its not what goes in your mouth that defiles you, its what comes out that sickens people.

Can’t you see, the matters of the heart matter allot.

There’s a huge difference between a person who knows and a person who becomes.

What’s you’re impulsive response to a not so favourable situation? What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you look at that person?

That’s your heart speaking through you, its who you are, the one we don’t necessarily see with our eyes.

” Take me to the place where I see you face to face oh Lord, All of my heart, no more in part, All of my Heart!”

The question isn’t if we get to face Holy fire the real question is, will this Fire consume you or will You let Him Purify…

“Woe is me, for I am undone”, say it to God! Not to man, you have nothing to lose before the One who sees Your Heart, the one who sees it all. 

Do you see it now? Its the posture of the Heart…
Who are you, when pressure 

comes 

Knocking…

©Msray.

Our Love

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Our love tale started like soaking cannabis in hot water. I took a sip. You did likewise. The sole of our feet got baptised in this fever that got our tummies beating the African drums. We looked each other in the eyes, we found dark universe surrounded by a red sea. We could see what love is all about; two heads that one is better than. We felt like screaming but the fear that the onlookers would tag us mad forced us into each other’s arm.

You could hear my heart beating. It was not the Jazz you love. My heart made music, the kind Mozart made. You said it made you dull. But that was my whole life. I tried to let my eyes speak volumes of poetry anthologies but all you heard was words poorly knitted. You smiled. Not the type of smile you decorated the sky with the first day I stood before you as a stuttering child, fearful but determined to let you know that butterflies only visit your garden.

I prayed we never recovered from this euphoria. This state of having the moon constantly using our name in the lullaby it is singing. I told of the symphonies composed by the crickets and frogs ( hiding in the near by bush) in our favour. You said I was silly. Not that kind of silly. You meant that I stole your heart with my madness. I was happy. At least, someone has finally got me in the list of men who parade the face of earth with careless abandon of what lips would say. You were the earthquake my soul yearned for.

That was when you told me of a fairy land. I was the ragged prince and you the princess living in a mansion of a castle. You told me that I was the male Cinderella. I agreed. You made me to be born again. It is no metaphor. You turned me to a suckling praying that I will forever remain at your breast…

(C) Symolean