He found me…

…and just again I was disappointed. It felt like I slept through the journey and just when I thought I had landed, my hopes got crashed.
He, Mr Law, was really cool, even cooler you could chill drinks in him. He promised me satisfaction if I’ll continually obey. I could almost swear I had this locked in with a B and K because I was all ready to do what he wanted.
I gave in. Like a skin to a boil, I gave in for a swell time of my life.

I wanted to please him and earn his love and trust. But sooner than later, the usual dreaded realization dawned and I prayed to race out for it was all empty and void.
Worse still each try left me feeling so incompetent. He even made me see that it’s all my fault, all the time.
Maybe, I gotta get up and try and try and try…quitters never quit yea? 

I’ve tried many times but it just doesn’t seem to work.
Something tells me that there must be someone, yes that one guy…that guy that loves completely.

But where is he?

My Soul longs to see 

With him I crave to be

Maybe he exists only in my fantasy. 
Even if he does exist, how much longer should I wait?

How much more time do I have to spare?

“A woman’s time flies…” or so they say;

I hope I’ll still be in mine when he calls.
I am really tired of testing and trying, tasting and spitting out.

My soul gets parched each time I do.

I just hope I’ll still be in my time when he calls.
Still lost in the noise of my very own thoughts, Which had long started to sound like music, I didn’t realize I had wandered off into the road I once denied.

A road so broad yet lacked space.
In this vagabond state, unable to discern what the morrow holds and barely caring what happens next, I heard my name.
I was stunned ‘cos never before had my name sounded such harmony.

T’was the most beautiful sound that has ever walked into my ears. 
This voice so gentle yet strong and firm called for me to exchange my burdens for rest but having wandered so long, it sounded too good for trust…and again I felt there ought to be a price for it. Nothing goes for nothing.
In my state of doubt still, the voice beckoned. It still sounded too easy, I couldn’t give into that. My old lovers weren’t that nice.
The sweet voice persisted and then my eyes opened and I saw a spark of light which flickered in front of me.
Nothing and nobody can be compared to the one I saw standing in front of me when my eyes fully opened.

His eyes held so much love that penetrated and irrigated my soul.

The intensity of his tenderness was unbearable so that I fell, yes, I fell into his strong arms where my safety rests assured.

My head rested on a heart that beats for me and I drowned in a satisfaction that has never been conceived by nature.
I couldn’t help but ask Mr Grace where he had been all this while. As he spoke to me I saw his love. A love that is not affected by my inconsistencies. I didn’t even have to work for it…it was free! I just accepted it and that’s all I ever did.
He found me!

And sorry I was not in my time, I was in His.
-HIS Ruth

M.A.D

I know no one saw this coming
People who know me than would confess that this is absolutely stunning
That I could leave my life bare and naked
Feeding on worthless words or so they call it…
No one seems to fathom why all of a sudden
I am changing better yet transforming
And it seems my senses are dead so they call me mad

I know its no more news that I am ‘Born again’
But why do I have to change so much
Why do I no longer fit into who I used to be
Why cant I just be normal like others they ask
I just wish I had a more soothing answer
The truth is when I met Him, we made a life transaction
The profit margin was beyond amazing so I gave in
Now I live like He would and that for me is my truth
That you think I’m mad is no shock, I think so too
He made a difference in me and that’s why I can’t be like you

Help please

It doesn’t matter how little of the word you know
Please listen to me oh so closely
You don’t have to memorize the scriptures whole
To tell me about Jesus and how He saves me

You do not need to have perfected it all
For you to share with me this truth
Please tell me about Jesus, His sacrifice and His call
If He can save you, He can save me too

It doesn’t matter how you choose to present it
Be it in song so sweet, words so keen or talents harnessed till great
Please don’t wait for a stage, just find it in your heart to tell me
How Jesus saves me from these chains of guilt and shame

Please don’t be so shy you don’t notice
Just beneath the bravado, beneath the flair and excitement, listen
My heart cries out through my eyes desperately
Do help a soul in need of a Saviour: Jesus, tell me about him

I know I’ve heard it before and yes I didn’t listen
Probably I would as well pay no heed to you today
But please don’t let me go away don’t give up on me
Oh please don’t be weary to pray to preach it still, Jesus saves

I know you can’t make it to the villages I live in
I know you’d rather we had a nice chat than evangelize
I know I’m no small challenge to stand up to and fearlessly speak
But still I plead you tell me about Jesus for the sake of my life

I know I tell you I don’t need Him
I know I mock and criticize your faith
I put to question your convictions, I tell you to leave Him
But please see my ignorance and preach all the same

I am no better of the two
I’d love to go free of my crime if you’d let me be
Still I would like to be in paradise too
Please share with me this gospel that can save me

Please talk to me about Jesus
His fellowship, His suffering, His reign
Oh how I want to know Him and His love
If only you’d tell me about Him and His manifold grace

One day I will die and regret the choices I made down life’s course
On that great day I’ll wonder why I never surrendered to Him
I just hope yours will not be the shadow I recall
Blocking His light from truly reaching and saving me

Poet’s Note: I once heard an illustration: imagine you just escaped a most terrible forest which you had stumbled into; filled with all the horrors any man can think of. Then just as you gain freedom barely trying to catch your breath, you suddenly spot a beautiful family happily strolling in unawares of the dangers within. What would you do?

LORD AND PERSONAL SAVIOUR

The greatest miracle on earth, a sinner came to repentance and is saved

Heaven rejoices for a new creations birth, now old things are passed away

Behold all things are new but please may I be excused

‘Cause if this hypothesis is proven theory

Why do I fall to the things I once rose up from?

Why do I feel like a couple once wed amidst cheers of joy?

Now wondering why their love has become a burden to endure

Why does it all now seem to feel like a fairytale

Where the magic only lasts till midnight with no prince charming come to find me

Glass slipper in hand, ready to rescue me from the depths of these dungeons

From these caves and chains, sins I once was saved from

I wish I could call out to the brethren

The ones who professed “Yes I love with you with the love of God”

But I know what they would say, who am I kidding?

I deserve to be here

Yes Jesus once forgave my sins but just maybe

Maybe the saving package just did not apply to customers such as me

So here’s my story

Once I was saved but now I am lost again and again and again

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I just wish it would stop but again and again I fall prey

And yet I pray one day these chains will give way

So I can truly proclaim, I am saved.

 

This short piece is the unfortunate story of a lot of Christians today; in fact I too went through a phase such as this but now I know for a certainty that no one should have to go through this ever because Jesus did not just get crucified just so we could be forgiven of our sins, He died so we would be saved and He resurrected proving His power over sin and death, then giving us a chance to reign with him in the same power. It is however puzzling why too many Christians still live under the bondage of sinful habits and addictions.

In my experience I’ve come to find out that this occurrence does not in any way put to question the authenticity of the work Jesus actualized on that cross, He did it well and complete hence the problem is most certainly with us.

“I have finished the work you gave me to do”

  • Jesus Christ (John 17:4b)

You see I have come to believe we forget the confession we made while we gave our life to Jesus Christ. You may not have said these exact words but I believe you implied that you accepted Jesus to be your Lord and personal saviour. The irony however is from a human point view, He should save us first and then He can become Lord over us but that’s not how it goes especially not on this side of life. You see Jesus did not come into your life just to save you from your sins but to also be Lord over your life. This is in fact what guarantees your victorious Christian life. Hence if you are still calling the shots in your life then your salvation experience is not entirely complete which is essentially the reason you still have problems dealing with those sinful habits.

Look I know you love the Lord and sincerely I’m positive He loves you even more but until He is Lord in your life, He might never be able to save you from your sins once and for all and that’s why the phrase goes ‘Lord’ first and then ‘personal saviour’ (implying this is a personal deal). Have you ever wondered why we as Christians profess “I gave my life to Christ”? Well, in my own little understanding I believe that on that beautiful day we made that confession of faith we surrendered our lives, our will, our consciousness to Jesus and in exchange we got his sin-free life, His will with victory over sin and His consciousness. You see, that way we are no longer controlling the wheels of our lives because we are no longer living our lives but His. This is our only hope to living our lives totally free of sin but the problem is once in a while we want to take control of the wheel and we ignorantly steer ourselves into problems and issues that make the sacrifice of Jesus seem ineffective. If you’re wondering why Jesus would let us collect leadership from Him, well He’s such a perfect gentleman and the bible testifies

“And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.”

  • Genesis 6:3

So when we do try to Lord over our own lives even after giving our lives to Christ we seem to be saying “Hey great work bro but I would like to take over from here”. Inferentially we did give Him our lives at some point but then we took it back and then we wonder why we keep on falling back to our vomit.

You know what is so awesome about the life we live with Jesus as Lord? You see the bible makes it clear that Jesus Christ on the cross won the victory over death, hell and the grave and when we give Him our lives for His we automatically walk into that victory as well. So that we are no longer trying to not sin, we just do not sin; it’s in our nature not to so it’s no wonder the bible calls us more than conquerors.

I can write a whole lot more but I believe the problem and solution are quite obvious at this point however from experience I do know that being aware of the solution doesn’t always mean you’d do the right thing. Sometimes it’s way too difficult to say NO to your flesh and you may still find a little pleasure in those sinful habits but I assure you there’s hope. So take it from someone who has been there you can overcome this too, you can hate those things you once enjoyed, you can have total and lasting victory over sin for eternity. Jesus loves you and the truth is no matter how far you push him away, He’s always there and what’s more He already put in measures to help you through this season: The Word(John 1:1-5), The Holy Spirit (John 16:7-15) and brethren (James 5:16).

So don’t wait any longer, let Jesus be indeed Lord in your life and enjoy righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. Don’t wait too long; it might be too late then. Continue reading