It was the happiest day of my life when I allowed Jesus into my heart. My heart was flooded with joy and unspeakable peace. In Him I found a friend like no one else would ever be. Just like new lovers, I was always seen with Him; talking, praising, worshipping – I couldn’t get enough.
Day by day, he came. He entered the parlour, went into the dining room. Oh, the dining room! There were lots of breaking of bread. He opened my eyes to mysteries. I learned, relearned and unlearned. I just couldn’t get enough. Every minute with Him was priceless.
Until one day, an old friend came knocking. I peeped and asked what he wanted. “Just a few minutes, then I’ll be out of your hair,” he said. My heart told me not to, but his dazzling smile, pleading eyes, and obliging countenance were enough to compel me. He smiled and entered.
He was with me when Jesus came. I quickly hid him in a little room. Jesus came in, looked at me deeply, and asked. “Is there anything you would like to tell Me?”
His countenance fell.
Our fellowship was not so sweet. But I bothered not, I was eager to conclude the story I was being told by my old friend.
When I was alone again, I ran. To the small room. Where he was. He invited me to a party the next day. I agreed.
The next day, I felt very awkward at the party. I missed Jesus. But I can’t bring Him here. This is not really His “thing”. As I was contemplating leaving, my old friend came and introduced me to his other friends. Little by little, I warmed up to them. I forgot the time.
When I got home, Jesus was waiting for me at the dining table. “It’s time for our breaking of bread,” He said. I dragged my feet to the table and half listened, half slept. Jesus suddenly stopped.
“You were late today. Where did you go?”
“Oh,” I said uneasily. “Out with some friends”.
“Can I come with you next time?”
“Oh no, never mind. It’s not your thing.”
“So why would you go to a place I can’t go?” He queried.
“I can go wherever I please. I don’t need your permission. I’m done with today’s fellowship. Please let’s meet another time,” I said.
Jesus, my ever-gentle friend, did not argue. He picked up His scroll and left.
It broke my heart to see him go. But I was too proud to call Him back, to tell Him I was wrong.
The next day, I went late again. I dropped a note at the doorknob for Jesus. You can start without me. I will join you soon.
The next week, I dropped another message. Please, Jesus, can you not use the dining room? Some friends are coming over. The guest room is all yours.
On and on it went. I stopped bothering to check the guest room. I was so busy with my old friend and his friends.
One day, while reveling with my friends, I remembered MY FRIEND. I asked for help, but none came. I dragged myself outside. My old friend came out and saw me. “There’s more for you here. The party’s just begun. Come and join us.”
Then I saw the loop: I was reveling in discontent, reveling in sadness, reveling in emptiness. I shook my head with a firm “NO” and trudged on home.
The night was cold. The wind bit into my skin. I was tempted to go back but I soldiered on. Home. Jesus. Warmth.
I got home. Looked in the guest room. Saw Him, with His oil lamp. Waiting for me. As always. He looked up at me. “You came today. Welcome.”
A tear slid down my cheek. I went to Him, knelt and sobbed. No words. “I am here for you, I love you,” He said
Like a lamp bursting forth, I broke down in tears. After an hour of reconciliation, I gave Him some keys.
“What are these for?”
“They are the keys to my home, my heart and everything I have. I surrender it all to you. I can’t control my life right. But you can. So, I surrender all.”
Jesus smiled His oh, so loving smile, touched my head and said.
“All is forgiven. You are free”.
I have never regretted that decision.
EMENIKE CHINWENDU VICTORIA