It was clear that I wasn’t full of anything
But everyone could bet that I was full of myself.
You would think I would weigh a thousand tons when the contents of me were turned into a bag and placed on a weight but I am that feather
By every wind of doctrine.
See, I had seen suits;
Seasons 1 to 5, and 6, and 7,
Nothing in the whole seasons of life could suit to cover the empty shell I hid in the well pressed excuse of the suit I wore. ME.
The real me;
Who knew nothing. Just occasional passages from the bible I could jump on, and like a frog; hip-hop on from time to time just to prove that I haven’t been listening to the ‘devil’s music’ and so I dress to kill, looking ‘smart’ on Sundays, my proof that I was scent enough. And I was worthy enough to lift up holy hands with. The cufflinks of doubts connecting my wrist to my chest.
I was unworthy! And I knew it!
I knew it, because whenever I saw people dig in the corners of new buildings around my house I saw something I would never be; WELL.
I felt alone in the world
I knew what I had wasn’t enough
I even told friends I needed space for it felt more natural to the man I was
We all did church, but when I checked how far I had come with what I called the gospel,
I knew it was useless
You are saved by him,
But you are condemned,
Unless you save yourself.
But that was before his light came
The light came
Delight came when his light came
It tasted sweet but I wept;
oxymoron like sugarcane
I got to know how good I was
I got to know who he was
And he told me who I was;
Till then I had always felt I knew so much
But the fool in me was revealed when the wise in him chose a foolish way to change the full in me.
I emptied myself and took him in
And till now,
I’m still intoxicated by the love he gave.
I can now brag about being full
And I don’t need to be full of myself to do it.
It was the first time I learnt, that the first ‘useless’ letter of him, could arrest the empty space in me and make me ‘W’hole.
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