Freedom

I want to be free to live,
A life free from difficulty,
A life with no tragedy

I want to be free to walk,
walk and never be stopped
Free to walk away from that sin that enslaved me,
Free to confront the devil that estranged me

I want to be free to speak,
Oh let my tongue leak, the truth.
I want to be free to spill out words that heal,
Words that plant and uproot futile roots

I want to be free to see,
See beyond diverse challenges,
See an adventure in the midst of peril

I want to be free to smile,
A smile that brightens and brings joy to a troubled mind and uplifts the weary heart

I want to be free to dream,
Dreams that are not assaulted by ferocious nightmares,
Dreams that give the assurance of a bright future

I want to be free to give,
Give without demanding to receive
Free to give myself up, just as Christ did for us

I want to be free to worship,
Acknowledging him who has dominion and lordship

I want to be free to love,
Unconditionally, exclusively and indefinitely

I want to be free to be the creators poet,
Free to get my papers wet,
With blue blood as they surge freely through my pen

I want to be free to write my piece,
Without chaos afflicting my peace

I want to be free to be the “me” that I’m supposed to be,
Not regarding people’s thoughts and opinions of me

I want to be free from pressures,
Free from peer pressures that accelerates my blood pressure
Free from living to measure up and forgetting his “treasure up”

I want to be free from the shadows of my past,
Free to take off this obfuscating mask
I know I committed crimes and crossed lines but I want to be free to bask in his ever redeeming light,
Free to actualize that in Christ, I am worth a Jew’s eye

I want to be free
According to God’s will
Flourishing like the flowers
Gushing with full strength like the waters
And as a tree planted near the rivers whose root spreads across like the garment of a diva

I want to be free expanding in knowledge
thrilling in the realm of possibilities
healing the broken souls with those words gifted from above

So, I desire to be free
Free from the seal of fear and jest
Free from imperfections and wrong decisions
Free the rain of confusion that overwhelms the kingdom on the inside,
Free from the floods of lust that empties grace
And takes away God’s face
I need to be free!
clothed with righteousness on the race
Nurtured on the way
Living to become my very best

Princess
The Alchemist
© 2019.

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CHRONICLES OF A DROWNING MIND

Dead zone
Broken soul
Scary shadows
Those are rhythms of a poor old kid
Whose ways never pleased anyone, not even herself.

No hope
Buried grace
Weak for the race
Those are top list words recorded in the word billboard of her mind
She used to be of the royal line
But now goodness turned to lime
She sees God’s intentions as the least
Her faith so rusty and loosen like an abandoned screw
There she becomes a beast that feast with the devil.

Records of heart failures
Impotent to believe the best inside
Drenched with the thoughts of discovery
Draining in the memory lane of no understanding
Tears from the sole of the heart dripping down like flood yet none sees these flood of questions buried in tears

Travelling alone in travail… I weep in smiles…
Because in my green days have I grown grey because am yet to discover the me in me

In silenced smiles I’m drown in fears because my mind has become aged in thoughts

Hold my weeping mind
Embrace my tears in warmth,
Caress me with words of rescue
Carry me in the wings of warmth understanding
For I drown in silence

Oh…save me from this destiny device
For I transit into the groove of eternity
My powerhouse drowns
I plead for restoration if that exist
I seek for redemption for this battle is beyond me

Nonye
The Alchemist
© 2019

Lies At Dawn

Without the stars appearing on a special
Night, the Angels singing sweet solemn innocent
Tones, jingles, praises to the mean
World that has seen eons
Of pains, love, gratitude, rejections that overwhelmed
Beauties and ugliness we see as tittle and nominal

I wish to be etched in your heart not as a nominal
Singer, but the beat you call special
The sound that leaves you overwhelmed
Our eyes a spark note of innocent
Thoughts that deified us eons
And mortals who are not mean

Men whose inclinations are mean
Can’t even have us as nominal
gods, but great fellows who are eons
Away from their realms. The one they’d call special
Species of rare grace; innocent
Warriors whose tales gets them overwhelmed

Though life may try to get us overwhelmed
It will never make us mean
Or rid us of the innocent
Company of the earthlight that is not nominal
Or make the moonlight serenade less special
Though it has romanced spirits for eons.

We seem to be overrated eons;
Cowered, callously, carefully overwhelmed
Lovely, little, lowly beings called special
Lower than the angels’ mean
Myrmidons, to the paladin nominal
Praying to be seen as innocent

But words cannot be innocent
We are actually eons
Beings that can never be nominal
Beings grave, gentle griefs overwhelmed
In their search of mean
Means of becoming special

To be as innocent as saint Simeon
The special eon that dwells
In this mean tent.

Simeon Chidi
©2019

False-Truth

I’m not good enough,
Daddy is taking Ada out for the third time because she aced her exams and I did not,
It’s the 4th time I’m being dumped for the better one who happens to bear my second name,
Yes! I took the pain to please my team and they chose David instead to take the lead,
Right now, I can’t look my wife in the face because I was not strong enough to rescue our only son before the car exploded in my face,
It’s 5 of 5 times I gave my opinion only to be overlooked by Tunde my coworker,
Who later brushed it up at the board meeting and was given a cool offer,
I even bet my life savings on the victory of my soccer club and the other club won,
And now I remember that it was momma who never believed a word a say because of the lie I told when I was two,

So, before I take my baby steps to death,
let me tell you that life has left me bullied by these thoughts and actions and betrayals and my pride with many rejections,
I even resulted to alcoholism but.. wait,
My religion abhors it so I’m formerly depressed,
These are the few I can tell,
I don’t want to tingle your ears,
And so far, all gesture given to me have been a clue for my escape away from this wicked world,

This was my life until I met one who told me I was made for so much more,
“Though the world’s pressure be heavy on me?”
But one sure word,
“Though I have been tagged as a sore looser and my dreams are dying”
But one true word,
“Though the stem of a tree be cut off and it’s roots wither but with the scent of water…
..That tree will grow again”

So before you pull the trigger to your brain,
Or drink that mixture,
Or have a last look at the beautiful skies as you sink in to the deep,
Or tie that rope to your neck,
Or write your last letter,
Give me the chance to rescue the hero in you,
Let me a minute to whisper to you that you are the one the skies have been waiting for,
Allow me to give you this scent of hope that there’s one who believes in your breath,
Your scent, your accent, your color, your posture, your smiles,

I mean your tears a so treasured so much that every drop sends a signal to the one who created you,
Truly you’re the apple of his eyes,
And these misdeeds are remodeling you into a masterpiece,
Your past do not define your future,
You are equal and more to that problem you’re facing,
You’re the champion waiting to happen,
So don’t give up, hang in there!
And just before another ‘false truth’ comes knocking at your mind’s door,
Accommodate this one truth,
“You are good enough!”

Azubuike Hannah
© 2018

Oysters

In my restive slumber,
I realized that in these times we all want to be our own animals
But we need a shell to hide under & an epidermis to hide our thoughts and emotions
An oyster can never be hurt because of its thick shell,
But be wise for an oyster knows neither of the hurts or joy of its environs

We all are vulnerable, can be hurt
We may not be loved, in this beast; life we can’t find beauty, joy or peace
But in his shell we have rest and much more.
We become “Mufasa” even with all the scars this world have given,
So come into his shell, It ain’t weakness, but strength
All the strength you need, I need, we need!

Isoje victor
© 2018

LOVE WITHOUT LIMITS

I was unsure the day I accepted Him. I couldn’t afford to be heart broken yet again.
But I needed help so I took the risk.
I said YES
Weeks went by and I found myself guilt tripping.
Nothing I did was enough or (so I thought).
I didn’t know how to express my love to Him the way He did to me.
I struggled so hard to be faithful, and committed, but I failed each time.
Loving Him was tough, I cried some nights, and silently prayed that He’ll forgive my shortcomings.
I couldn’t return the favour, I felt empty.
He carried all my burden, and never complained.
Months turned into years and I was certain I couldn’t keep up, it seemed too good to be true.
My Love, we need to talk.
Go on dearie, am all ears.

What can I do to help make this work?
How do you mean?
Each time I try to make up for a wrong,
Each time you love me more.
You never seem to count my wrongs against me.
I don’t feel befitting to have You, I don’t feel worthy.
Listen to me my love,
I rejoiced the day you accepted me.
All I seek is to have a relationship with you, my love for you is dependent on nothing you do.
I forgave you of all your short comings years ago. Your past isn’t relevant and can never be compared to the glorious future we have together.
I find you worthy, in you I see perfection.
Don’t try to earn my love,
my love for you is eternal.
I swore never to be angry with you.
My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.
Wow! Thank you Jesus!
For choosing me,
For loving me,
Now I know it’s not about what I do but what You’ve done.
I rest in You.

Imani Dokubo

(c) 2018

EVERYDAYJESUS is my ‘De-tox’! (An update).

‘Slow down, you might crash’.

Has anyone ever told you that in the last six months? Maybe you should start applying that advice by not rushing to the end of this article, or you might crash – just kidding. 

Whew, the world is too stressed out for her own good! Can you imagine a case where someone is her own major stressor? That is exactly what the world is doing to herself. The manner and speed at which people move around and go about their business is that kind that can make me nauseous in a merry-go-round, or the kind that can make me throw up in a galloping bus heading north from Nsukka. Concerned folks are left with very few alternatives like taking matters into their own hands, and forcefully applying unsolicited brakes for the ‘rat race’ people. Smart professionals even make a living from the chaos – after all good business is seeing a problem that nobody probably saw and solving it, isn’t it?

Recently, I saw an ad that said something that sounded like:

“Ultimate De-stress Experience, our aim is to provide a haven of tranquility, away from all your day-to-day worries, we help you detoxify”

And all those kind of candy sweet promises. Don’t ask me where I found that ad, because I know too well that there is definitely a place with such offerings. The ad got me thinking anyways. So I thought:

Why do people really get stressed out, how, and to what end?

Can a therapist really help me de-stress and detoxify, to what end, and what is the sell-by-date of the ‘de-stressed’ feeling?

If I do not have the luxury of a ‘de-stress experience’ for so long- maybe two straight years, what would become of me?

Better still, how long is the sell-by-date of mental sanity?

So, is it really possible to be permanently de-stressed and detoxified, or should I pretend that the thought of it tastes better than a chocolate-box story?

Well, I decided to do a fair amount of study that was more than good enough to give me more than a fair amount of excellent answers.

Professionals define stress as events or situations that makes us feel tension, pressure or negative emotions such as anxiety and anger. On the other hand, others view stress as the response to these situations or events, these responses are usually physiological changes and they may include; increased heart rate and muscle tension as well as emotional and behavioral changes. However, most psychologists regard stress as a process involving a person’s interpretation and response to a threatening event (Auerbach, Stephen, and Gramling, Sandra E, “stress (psychology),” Microsoft ® Encarta 2009).

So I decided to interpret this whole stress perspectives thus:

Stress may be:

A nut to crack;

How I choose to crack the nut;

Or the decision making process of how I choose to crack the nut.

Therefore if you ask me to shed more light, I would say that being busy, or having an important deadline to meet, or problematic work or social relationships, such as a poor evaluation by a supervisor( just like I experienced in my project while completing a major requirement for a bachelor’s degree in microbiology) or an argument with a friend( the kind I sometimes have with one of my favorite roommates who I like and dislike at the same time for having opinions too strong for their own good) , or even failure( like failing a third year organic chemistry course in the only Nigeria’s den), personal humiliation( the kind I call ‘embaharassment’ , self-imposed embarrassment), physical threats(like when my supervisor said he would slap me – even though he is still apologizing till today) etc. are all events (stressors) on their own, but people’s responses to them can be a stressor too, and also interpretation/ processing of these stressors in one’s mind may be called a stressor too.

I just hope you are not expecting me to give you a seminar on stress – I am really not too interested in doing that, you know I am not much of an authority in the field. Telling me to do that is simply asking me to write a review on scholarly works, and I am so going to call that an ‘event’ myself. Besides writing reviews on microbiology, kept me away from you all this while and I am so sorry.

Nevertheless, I would love to say something on one of the effects of stress that I find rather interesting – mental illness! I discovered or do I say that I rediscovered that the people who we consider irritable, socially withdrawn, and emotionally unstable are simply people who receive a high dose of exposure to stress – and people who cope poorly with the stress. Prolonged and high stress dose exposure may lead people to anxiety, depression, or other severe emotional problems. Anxiety disorder caused by stress may include generalized anxiety disorder, phobias, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. And guess what, people who survive catastrophes sometimes develop an anxiety disorder called post-traumatic stress disorder. They re-experience the traumatic event again and again in dreams and in disturbing memories or flashbacks during the day. They often seem emotionally numb and may be easily startled or angered. I also find it shockingly interesting that professionals agree that coping with stress required individuals to use thoughts and actions to deal with stressful situations and lower one’s stress levels. Also, many people have a characteristic way of coping with stress based on their personality, and that people who cope well with stress tend to believe they can personally influence what happens to them, they usually make more positive statements about themselves, resist frustration, remain optimistic, and persevere even under extremely adverse circumstances, most importantly, they choose the appropriate strategies to cope with the stressors they confront. It was at this point of studying that I was like eureka, I found it!

If a professional’s textbook and his experiences teaches him that coping with stress is basically a question of response due to a person’s heart (mind) disposition, and I chose to agree because it sounded logical – even without studying his textbooks or having his experience. In the same way, any and every professional would be polite by me, if he, without studying my textbook and having my experience chooses to agree with me that mutants (Theo-Sapiens) have the only sure and strong antidote to stress due to the permanent state of their hearts, coded for by the Spirit of God in their hearts (spirits). This stress antidote is programmed in them and is automatically activated in them when confronted by the ugly and eerie face of stress because of the reviving power of their right believing. They believe ‘the too good to be true news’- the Gospel! When confronted with bad and ugly event or stress (which I have chosen to call the bad news) they automatically switch on to the beauty of the Gospel – The Good News’ locked away within them, and get refreshed and renewed. “They that trust in the Lord shall renew their strength” my textbook says. They don’t necessarily de-stress or detoxify because the stress cannot mix or mingle with them.

Therefore, I realized, reaffirmed and concluded that what doctor or a psycho-therapist might choose to call a healthy state of mind is that mind state that slightly or grossly mimics ‘ the Rest of God’ because I know that such state of mind is a permanent and vital reality of mutants. God’s rest is a place but more to that, it is a place that only our hearts (spirits) can be in. Our spirits house our souls which in turn house our mind. When my spirit is at ‘The Rest of God’- The secret place, the Kingdom of God, only then can my mind be tamed to rest and be de-stressed, detoxified and permanently tranquilized. I know too well that no amount of yoga can take anyone there. The best that yoga might do is to show you a dream scene of ‘Rest’s door’ swinging to and fro like the graceful dance of a beautifully formed damsel in any deliciously written fairy nice love story you might find in my library.

So we rest because we believe, and because we believe, we continue to trust in Him with His own faith, the faith that came with the Gospel we heard.

And because we continue to trust in Him, He gives us wings like that of an eagle, so that we can glide and accelerate with little or no efforts in the turbulence of the air currents that never appears to cease. Unlike other birds in flight, we never struggle – we soar! We see the turbulence, but like the eagle on the sky we don’t take notice because we have a similar soaring swagger.

When Elsa the ‘Frozen’ ice queen sings “the cold don’t bother me anyways” we get it because we share similar experience.

In fact we save our energy for any ‘swift and swoop’ attack of the bald eagle. We know that they that put their trust in the Lord are like mount Zion which cannot be moved but abides forever. We also live on the truth that them that wait, that hope on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount on eagle’s wings and they will soar and not grow faint.

Jesus Christ is the Rest of God, the very rest from every work – from every doing, it is done. It is finished on the tree, and He is the risen king. He is the risen, the reason why we rest, why we have believed. He is the risen, the reason why we are permanently in the de-stressed, detoxified, tranquil and serene mode.

 

By Favouromeje, 2016.       

EVERYDAYJESUS’ Worship 3 (an update)!

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted by much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. “But one thing is needed and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her.”

Luke 10: 38-42(NKJV).

Home making is both a duty and a major hobby for me as a woman but then on the other hand lies a higher duty and calling which is worship. Sometimes while going about my woman functions diligently; it could be very easy to forget the place of worship – the better part. Worship for me, is a God consciousness in the very most mundane thing. It is to me like not just shuffling back and forth the Mary-Martha woman life, but running the ‘Mary and Martha Me’ skillfully at the very same time. The Truth is that Martha isn’t the wrong one, in fact nobody is. She didn’t know something I know now, LOL. Woman balance is worshiping in my most very common activities. If I realized that the Lord is right there with me, then I would involve Him in my home making, this to me is pure worship! Home making like every other thing is fun doing but when done with the consciousness that the Lord is right there with me, it becomes even rejuvenating and refreshing – worship actually is refreshing! If you ask me, I would tell you that as a woman, God is glorified when I do the home thoroughly because that is my God-given role being attended to very well, but then, God is even more glorified when I let Him help me with my chores because I let Him teach me by His Holy Spirit the best ways to do every single thing. Do you know that Abba Daddy could give one a snazzy elegant DIY on almost anything including a perfect haute cuisine, cordon bleu ‘how to make a good sauce for potatoes’? Well He has given me tones of ‘em, no kidding!

By Favouromeje, 2016