Breathe

I am no stranger to pain,
I’m quite the scarred miracle myself,
My eyes have bled and my heart has leaked,
I can totally relate to the word ache,
I know what it feels like for the world to end,
For the sky to drop heavily on your chest so much that you can’t breathe,
To clench your hands tightly hoping that u are actually holding on to something, only for you to realize that you are and it’s not just enough,
To realize that u are claustrophobic and there isn’t that much space in the world,
And maybe you’ll find that space in your mind only that’s it’s too quiet in there,

I know that feeling all to well,
That one that has turned you into an actor,
You don’t need to rehearse you know the script like the back of your palms,
Like this,
Hey, how are u?
And you’d say,
I’m awesome you ?
And you’ll find that smile that never fails to hide the scars and fresh wounds you’ve become so used to,
And you’ve learnt to find strength,
In the welcoming breast of your pillow,
Because somehow it takes the tears and never drowns you in it,
She’ll help you face the world,
And for a fleeting moment it will be as though the world isn’t closing down on you,
And you’ll almost believe it,

Xophie

(c) 2018

HURT!

I’ve never felt so much pain in my life before
I stood motionless as I watched the dust, the debris rise and fall
My father, my son, my very soul forever lost at the sound of that bomb

There is no more hope
Just pain
Pain I can’t live without
Pain I cannot begin to understand.

I’ve never felt this much anger
My heart beats and pounds against my ribs like a wild beast wary of its cage
The flames glared before me and within yet there was no place for fear
Just raw, lethal anger gnawing at my consciousness
There is no more peace; just anger

Anger I do not wish to quell
Anger not soon to quench
No more wishes, no more hope
No more thinking, no more words
Just this maddening silence
Me and my pen fighting to have it all make sense

My mind is all but lost
My body beyond hurt
My spirit is ignored
I only wish someone could hear me
I only wish someone could save me
I only wish for someone anyone
That could take it all away

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah  53:4-5(KJV)

FROZEN IN THE DARK

Life can be ice cold when you lose someone you love ……………………

I was frozen in the dark

staring at everything and yet, seeing nothing,

floods of tears running down my cheeks,

Tons of weight suppressing  my fragile heart,

I was frozen in the dark

unable to move my dead soul ……………

Shot out of the beauty of living into nothingness,

Vagueness of life seemed to make some sense.

I was frozen in the dark..

I didn’t feel alive,

I wasn’t alive!

I was lost ….

Far in space …

Blank in mind …

Empty in soul …

Broken in spirit …

I was frozen in the dark … Continue reading →