Have you ever been in a situation where someone really said something that made your stomach churn and you just felt like giving them a piece of your mind? Well I have!
Also has someone whose opinion mattered a lot to you, ever criticize you so sorely and destructively that you just felt that you needed to let them know how much of their imperfections you have overlooked? Oh I sure have!
You know, I have had my own share of word poisoning in this little life of mine, and I have also given people that I love a lot, enough dosage to relish for a lifetime. I tell you, words can really hurt so badly, especially when those words were intended to put one down. Sometimes, they may not even be intended to hurt, yet they end up ripping hearts into twos.
On the other hand, words can really be so few yet you end up not forgetting them till you die, because you find out that these very few words were always there for you even when the person who said them, was no longer able to be there for you!
Do you know? I found out that most people who messed people up with their dirty mouths, most times, did not really mean to! They didn’t really mean to, honestly. I found out also that what most of them had in common was carelessness and ignorance. They were very careless with how they managed the link between their hearts and tongue; and they didn’t know what you needed to hear at the moment, because they were too blind to see you.
Sometimes, an angry word can be returned with a kind one, depending on how much you can see and hear beyond the words you thought that made you furnace furious!
Also, destructive condemnation can be returned with constructive affirmation, depending on how much you could slow down, listen carefully and process them well and neat!
Even embarrassing words can be returned with really kind ones, depending on how much good thing you can pick from the love left unsaid.
I believe that most times, people do not really say what they mean, and what they do not mean, so much, they really end up saying!
Please, do not say, ‘what do I care’, ‘I just take people by their words because I am not God’. I would only excuse you if especially you are not made by the same stuff as Abba Daddy.
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires”- James 1:19&20 ( NIV).
Therefore, I also urge us like Brother James to be ‘loving thing’-slow-to speak!
Because you need enough space to help you look part the words!
Because you need to pick the loads of things left unsaid!
Because you might also want to monitor the unsaid words of body language!
And finally, because you need to buy enough time to help you give formal touches to what you have to say; putting into considerations, what tone of voice, what lilt of voice, other custom body words, and of course your trade mark and signature talking style. Duh!
By Favouromeje, January 2017.