The man looks around. The air is thick and heavy and damp and smells of sickness. He feels heavy too, like the air–heavy but weightless. He looks down at himself and shakes his head. He’s become so used to this habit that it’s now some sort of conditioned reflex–to look at himself and shake his head.

He looks himself over again, and a wistful sigh squeezes through his clenched mouth. It’s not a long time before he time travels back to a period before this disease swallowed him and wrung the life out of him like a thick cloth after washing– vibrant, energetic, with huge arms that looked like pillars. A time of wine and roses and farm work and women. There’s a slight numbness in his left knee that suddenly forces his mind to fast-forward to the present and he is still stuck here by the sheep market, doomed to have the pool as his eternal neighbour. He’s been here for two years shy of four decades, watching days fade into nights and nights into days.

He’d lost all of his strength when he became sick. Hope is now as useful to him at this moment as a horse to a drowning soldier. He has come to make flies and fleas his closest friends. One look at him and your day is ruined. Today, like every other day, he’s seated here, waiting for what he isn’t sure of. There was not much to do except sit. Sit and watch, and wait.

He yawns and looks around. You cannot say he’s bored. Somebody that has been in the same spot for almost 40 years! Please, what is boredom? There are familiar faces; of the same people he sees every day, eyes liquid with hope, waiting for an angel.

He stretches on his mat in listless resignation. He’ll never be well again for sure. His legs are dead wood and haven’t been of much use over the years for each time he’s tried to get up and into the pool. He’s always needed help. And for ages now, none has come.

He looks around yet again (this is probably the only work he only ever does!) at the other impotent folk scattered around the pool – even then, he’s still worse off.

For a fraction of a moment his thoughts wander to the frenzy that always follows each time the angel comes and messes with the water: pushing, shoving, upending. To the frustrated sighs and expressions of grimace of those who don’t make it after everything.

If there were some sort of award for “longest serving member” or something, he’d have no competition. He’s been here long enough to know every single face, behavior, every single item and their positions in this Bethesda that he’s been forced to call home, and even where every last leaf has fallen. So it is no surprise that he feels something about the air change when some young man walks in. He’s never seen this one before so he quirks his brow warily. He’s not a relative of anyone here and he looks ordinary enough.

The stranger is walking towards him and with every step, the air is a little lighter.

Could he be one of those unfortunate lowlifes who come around to steal from poor sick people? Or could help be finally approaching at long last?

It’s almost that time of the week when the angel comes around.

Perhaps, I should beg this stranger to stick around and help me into the water at the next coming of the angel. Hope makes the man lightheaded and a little woozy.

“Wilt thou be made whole?” The stranger asks dryly jerking the man back to reality.

Oh great, one of those clowns! He reaches protectively for his begging bowl.

For a moment, he is confused. What kind of question is this one now? Okay this one has come here to mock him? Two deep breaths. The leper decides he’s going to have to play this one cool. One thing he’s learnt is to never be rude to anyone, not even unserious people. And not especially as this man might just be the one to give him that much-awaited shove. Just a bit of begging might soften his heart. Can’t be wasting opportunity anyhow.

“Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another stepped down before me.” He makes sure his reply is polite, which is difficult as the words are barely squeezing through his teeth.

His chest is a site of explosions and his heart percussion against his ribs. He can almost hear the sound of the blood gushing through his veins. Unknown to him, it is He, who sent the angel, who made the water, that has come by Himself.

“Rise, take up thy bed, and walk,” The stranger’s voice is so soft his lips barely move.

What?!

For a few seconds, everything around the pool careens to a stop. You can even hear a pin drop.

“The pool—”

“Rise, take up thy bed, and walk,”

“My God! Some people play too m—”

WAIT A MINUTE! Is it the ridiculousness of what this clown just said?

Or is it strength that just rushed into his dead feet?

Is he feeling things? Is he hearing things?

 

He wants to ask the stranger to repeat himself, just to be sure he heard correctly.

OK wait first let me just close my eyes and open them to be sure I’m not finally going crazy last last…

Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.

 

The words keep ringing in his ears.

He reckons he’s heard a lot of really ridiculous things in this life but this one is different. He looks himself over one final time, rolls out of his mat, then glares at the stranger. This better not be a prank! He wobbles a bit, steadies himself, inhales, takes a step, then two….

He stops, looks back at the stranger. Pause. Then breaks into a run, dancing and praising.

Source: Memoir of A Religious Girl

I held my head firmly with two hands as though I was trying to keep my head which appeared to be under the attack of atomic bomb, (type that greeted Hiroshima “welcome to a new world” during the world war), from falling apart.
My father busied himself wondering what on earth he should do. Money seemed to be a rare commodity at the time. It was in the time that Buhari paddle the canoe of our nation. I could see myself torn between life and death. The yearning to live longer and the cry to be liberated from this torment even if death is the answer, I would not mind. I was at that point where willingness to do anything to regain comfort could not be compromised. I felt like praying. But the last time I prayed before then is a subject we will discuss maybe when am strong enough to face the shame. I wished God should hear the cry of my heart. He hears our hearts cry, doesn’t he?
I felt that I was quietly losing trip life. I could feel right within me the host of heaven singing with a smile a welcome home song. I was not ready for such a feast.
That was when he came in. He could see my father sweating out his own life. He could hear my groaning. I guess he was confused just like my father too. He opted to pray for me, then stopped as though a memory flashed. Turned to my father and said, “the angels said that we should pour cold water on her”. My father was a quicker believer. What do you expect when money is not a commodity at our disposal? It is better to do something than to fold hands and watch your daughter join your ancestors in the work they do. That must have been his conclusion. He ran to the deep freezer that stood at the dark corner of his store and pulled out a bag of satchet water. He baptised me, I mean he that heard the angels. My father joined him. Soon enough, they proved that he really heard the angels. My predicament worsened. My breathing paced up. He changed the story immediately. He could not bear having my death tagged to him. He “reheard” the angels again. My father was almost flying in panic. He was in a worse state than I was; at least I had only death facing me but he, my father had more, regret must have been another side of the coin.
He told my father he actually did not hear the angels clearly. He had a new tale. The angels wants my father to invite the local drug store owner. My father could afford that just like the cold water too. My father rushed out to call this new tool the angels said would restore my health but when he came, the look on his face suggested that he was in no mood to be blacklisted as a murderer. He told my father to take me to a hospital which he did.
A week later, I saw he who hears the angels and he had more tales. The angels said that I was hiding something and I have a short time to live. I was depressed but thanks to my cousins, I now know that his brain was actually the angels.

After church chat

ChyD: Sommy, how was church?
Sommy: Fine I guess. Although I didn’t really understand what the preacher taught about the holyspirit never leaving a believer. Surely the holyspirit doesn’t live in a sinful body.
ChyD: It depends on what you mean by ‘sinful body’.
Sommy: That’s my problem with all you grace preachers and modern christians. You try to twist the truth. What else is sin asides the ones we know like lying, cheating, stealing, fornication and so on. 

ChyD: Can we check the bible again? Just to see if those things you listed can take away the holyspirit from a believer.
Sommy: with all pleasure
ChyD: John 14 : 16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever. 

I didn’t see any condition. It says FOREVER! 
Sommy: You are forgetting the portion of the bible that says that the sin against the holyspirit shall not be forgiven. What are you people preaching? For heaven’s sake you people are encouraging sin.
ChyD: No we are not. We are preaching the gospel of Christ. Let’s see the scripture about grieving the holyspirit, shall we?
Sommy: By all means
ChyD: Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

For some reasons unknown to me, most people do not complete that verse. It says you are sealed with the holyspirit unto the day of redemption. It didn’t say if you grieve the holyspirit, he’ll pack and leave.

The whole packing out of believers’ lives and packing in again when they are ready will slim down the heavy presence of the holy spirit, don’t you think? That’s some physical fitness exercise! Running to and fro.
Still on Ephesians. Chapter 1: 13- 14 says “In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory”
We are told that the holyspirit is our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession. We are the purchased possession and until we are redeemed, the holyspirit remains with us. It’s like a legal contract of a father’s will after his death. If the will says “give him everything aka the holyspirit”, nothing can take away his inheritance. 
Sommy: I hear you! What about the sin against the holyspirit not being forgiven?
ChyD: The sin against the holyspirit is UNBELIEF! 
Mark  3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.

And John 3: 15 tells us who ever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life.

That would make the only reason for eternal damnation unbelief.

 Romans 8: 16 says the spirit bears witness with our spirit, that we are children of God.

What makes you a child of God? Belief in God. When a person doesn’t believe, he is sinning against the holyspirit and there is no witness.
Sommy: Wow. This is too much to take in. I’ll need to go through these scriptures again. But I never saw all these things you just opened my eyes to, despite the fact that I study my bible daily.

Thank you.
ChyD: We were all once there. I pray that light hits you more.
-ChyD