Category: Monologue

Refiners Fire (A Rant and a prayer)

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Its easier to preach over our heads,
But where is discipleship, where is discipline?

More people telling us what to do but nobody to see us through. More people to judge, rebuke, reprove, no one asking “how are you?”, ” where are you?”, “let’s both go through”.

Masked up perfection its a war of logos. Altars are not pretty places ask the Mayans they know this. So why am I the only one burning, the only one bleeding, the only living sacrifice sizzling while others are ” sane” and “happy”.
in this world I heard them sing is not our home. so I scribbled down the lyrics cos it had to be true.

Doesn’t anyone want to be free for real?! I know I do!
I know too well who I am why doesn’t anyone else see themselves or do you?

” its so hard to confess when everybody thinks you’re perfect” that’s what Taylor Hills said, I agree with Him. He’s a truther, he’s making sense..

Its a trend now this Cruise control, its like submission, Contrition,  repentance and brokenness is a taboo Come broken five years after your public altar call, no one will look at you, or they would, but strange… “you’re weird” they’d say, “pick yourself up”, they’d say, ” you die like a corpse” they say… But last I checked there’s no cuter way to die to the flesh so I’d wait.
Forget the past they say, don’t dwell on it Christ has forgiven your sins, I swear your Salvation is lit,they say,
hey thanks man I’m excited but I gotta ask this…is it still my past if it was only yesterday or do I give it a few more days, months no years, Hoping I don’t take my – self into Today..

Oh don’t bother answering I have to start again.

Hey, tell me your secret, How long did it take for your guilt to disappear from your fore memory… huh?
Gods grace, I know its true but why don’t I see it..

Lord!
“Whither you go left or right, you’d hear a voice behind you saying – this is the way to go, walk in it”, I’m walking Lord, You get me. Sometimes crawling, many times falling, yet I’m moving. Now I get you, Grace keeps me moving, it was you all along. You behind me, you before me, Its really just us.

Valley of the shadow of death:
Even cute little bodies travel through dark Canals… when the head crowns the body must follow suit to live. That’s mother and Child.

These pangs are getting intense by the second, keep me breathing Ruach Hakodesh, Airways open doing these counts taking deep breaths on your count you are my husband, holding my hand, it wasn’t over until you yelled ” it is finished”, until the cry of new life is really heard across the  earth. No time for still Birth.
Sick and tired of the vain words!

wretched man that I am “yea I said it”, If I never beheld you in the beauty of holiness I’d probably be happy, hole in my chest, basking in rags, rejoicing in shackles,struggling to shine rotting teeth…

wretched man that I am! Now I see me, If I wasn’t convicted I’d never understand why I need new Life, how you paid for my Crime.
purge and cleanse me, purify me for real,

I’m diving into you, Word! the dark side no one sees,the one where you sit on a stool and roll up your sleeves, refiners fire, fuller soap, water of Life wash over, in and through me. You saved my spirit now make my soul see…

The brightness of your coming has exposed what darkness hid. All the lust and pride and selfish schemes, wash and uproot lord, Help me be still.

So then id look in the mirror, its only you I see,
Your Love your heart the only Good in me

Bang me in the fire, shape and mould me, No longer standing in Egypt claiming Canaan

Spirit of Truth Usher me in,

This isn’t about them

Its about

you and me.

#NolongerAhypocrite.

FAQs

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For a while now, I’ve been so confused about Christianity. Everyone has their own version of everything. So many different doctrines! So many lifestyles. I heard that all you need to do to be a believer is believe in Jesus. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. I had my doubts too.

A friend asked me why I didn’t attend church service. I told him I needed a breather. I had had it up to my neck. I said, “I need to know God for myself”. I sat back and folded my arms. That was my mantra for a long while and I wasn’t doing anything to solve my problem.

I had questions but I wasn’t asking them. What about my actions? That’s the only way people will know I’m a Christian. “By their fruits you shall know them”, right? Paul said, “I discipline my body” but I thought we have power over sin and it’s by the grace of God. Ah, tongues. That had always been and is still my biggest question. Is it a proof of the Holy Spirit? Must every believer have it? What if I don’t desire it? But we are to “desire all gifts”. As a Christian, should I listen to secular music? I really like some of them. What is secular music?

So many of them but I just folded my arms and carried them about. In fact, some of them are still questions and very necessary for spiritual growth. I am working on getting answers now. But I’m not writing this piece to answer the questions. I am writing this piece because I got an answer yesterday to the only thing that matters.

Yes. All it takes to be a believer is to believe in Jesus.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Acts 16:31 Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.

Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.

THERE’S A REASON.

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“Why? Do we do the things we do? How do we sing? When there is no reason to, How do we smile? When there’s not much to smile about, when the world is down, who are we to stand and shout? 

They wonder why, we do the things we do….”

Lyrics from one of my favourite songs. Its an old one, like they say you don’t get it as good as vintage. Isn’t it the same for this “mystery” behind why we sing?

A reason so simple when we lift our hands spontaneously, burst out in tears and praise people still ask why? But the ones who know will join us and its a firey spark of curious grins, or irked up faces, nevertheless they still ask why,

What gives you so much joy in all this mess? Why does your heart soar like the feathers from a pillow fight in the skies, coming down softly like cool waters to melt heavy heart why?!

” …. Its all because of this!                                         Its all because of this! We’ve tasted LOVE and Tasted HOPE and Tasted HOLINESS ! …..”

Oh the joy there is in Christ! Oh the boundless spring of life, oh the promise in the storm, oh our hope! your bride say’s Come!

Oh the Rest and Hiding place, of all who flee to be veiled in thee, oh the Beauty on our Face oh the Guardian of our gates. 

Oh the reason we are free, We take up our cross and follow thee, yoked to you now burdens light, no death to fear you conquered All! Through battle cries we rest in Hope for in Christ alone His peace we hold.
Ahhh, yes!  There is a reason! For this everflowing peace. 

Chuckling at the sky or grinning to ourselves. You died our death and Rose unto Life! Your gift of Love a joyous! Joyous ride. 

*Song Title: All Because Of This           *Artist: Mercy me (Spoken For album)

Incline Your Ear. 

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“Come out from among them and be separate…”

As a child growing up in an African home, one of the times I swallowed advice with open heart and ears, were those moments where I had “disgraced my mother outside” by eating the food offered to me at her best friends house! And having endured the swift pulling of my “disgracefully hungry mouth that has never eaten jollof rice and chicken before” once her friend walked back into the kitchen, I would then silently nibble the now tasteless food anticipating the beating I was going to get at home.

On those rare occasions I can remember, my mother would call me to her room! And just when I walked in, hands crossed, full bladdered and pulse dead, she would say.  

“Sit down, let me talk to you.”

                          ——————-

Why do you want to eat from the world My child? Blending in trying to be a perfect fit? 

What can she offer you that isn’t Mine? The cattle on a thousand hills, the stars and seas.

Do you  really trust in Me? Is My promise, My  gift not enough for you?

What more must I give up to make you see? That if the world finds pleasure in you, it is because in you she doesn’t see Me.

Why are you afraid to stand alone? Why do you cry to Me and grope for answers elsewhere. 

Have I not loved you with an everlasting love?

Come my child let us reason together. My plan is not to leave you in despair it is not just to soak you in trials, but to cleanse and purify, through it all I will always be there. 

In the fire before you come, in the fire to see you through, in the fire as you grow from glory to glory, It is I! I promised! Have you forgotten? Truth CANNOT lie.  I know how it ends, it is why I Am here. 

Come to Me my child, I see your burden. The one you hide and still cry out “holy”, the one you justify by a thousand good deeds, the one you silently blame on others as though their absence will set you free, open up your heart, show Me where it hurts, I Am here to heal you, I Am here to deliver. This journey was never meant to be for one man alone, let me guide you, let me keep you, let me literally change your heart, lighten your burden, let me do My part. 

It is for this purpose alone I came to this earth, this purpose alone makes me suffer long. If you will only dare to lay All down and turn to me All the pain, the despair, guilt and shame, expectations, beautiful lies, dreams and hopes, good and evil, the mixtures of this tree that creates necessary evils. 

I Am Life Source, I will Sustain You. 

It is not my wish that you stand in Egypt and claim CANAAN’s promises with your lips alone, I Am not with you in Egypt to prosper you in her ways but to bring you Out! I will journey through this wilderness with you, this dryness in your soul, you will never be alone, you win because I won. I walk with you through this valley until we both come out One, I Am not ashamed, I Am not disgusted, I Am not tired, I have come that you might have Life. 

I Love You

It is True

Will You Trust Me?

​TO THE CHILD IN HIS LOINS

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You are free,
Free from the tree that damns you to a mouthful of sour grapes.

You are safe.

Safe from the cutting edge taste of his past

You are blessed

Blessed by pierced hands stretched down to a hand undeserving

You are covered

Covered by the warm blanket of eternal love 

I pray for you.

That you will never meet a man from Adam

That your eyes will forever be lit up with joy and laughter

That the aeons of peaceful waiting that keep you, preserve you for a new path.

That “the one”will only seek to preserve your heart

And though he has roamed around with you, tied in loins askew, crushed on a thousand bodies before he let you grow in one,

Your smooth face and  supple cheeks shall know no prickly tears. 

I severe you from his restless loins today and I connect you to the maker of your days.

Your life will shine forth only glory.

The shame is taken away, 

end of story.

I may never meet you child in his loins,

But I choose to set you free. 

#buriedbodies

#setthemfree

#pennedprayers

GENERATIONS

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I have really wise friends
I have really smart friends
And then I have these other friends. These ones I don’t know how to classify them.

For when you hear their thought process, you will wonder if this part of the body called a brain is vestigial in some animals.
When they utter words, you automatically want an occupation with hammers for every thing they say make you want to break their head.

But then I got to thinking;
6 years,
10 years;
200 years from now and these same ‘not so senseless’, poor in making decisions, and utterly tiring friends of mine would be known as ‘the ancestors’
A status men will begin to idolize.

I see us use a whole lot of our mind’s compartment to believe things that were told to us by people who couldn’t figure out simple things, I mean, some of the very learned of them actually argued that the earth was flat, like a table.

Hollup!

I am not even talking about the unlearned ones from your villages that birthed those you now call grandpa. Just imagine it.

They told you to pour drinks on the floor for the ancestors and you agree, well it’s *Omenala, so it can’t be broken.
They said a woman should be shorn when her husband dies and well, who are we to not obey the voices of ignorance passed down to us?

We carry knowledge like tentacles on a snail’s head but still slip back into the cave of ignorance we use to shell whatever good we can make of life, just because we have been told to ‘stand on the wisdom of the elders’,
Now guess who said that? ‘THE ELDERS’

I feel this is rigged.

Then our faith, love, strength, and even humanity is subject to a broken past called tradition,
Something that might have been suggested by a ‘not so smart’ old man who was only opportune to live before us.

So I take a stand today.
I will relate with the rules of the ancestors like they were still alive now
I will weigh their wisdom based on how wise it is, NOW!
I will not waste my time in their myth, only to satisfy their dead bones long gone with the sands of time.

I will make decisions now and then advice younger generations to learn from my words, but before I go from this earth;

I will let them know I wasn’t the wisest
I wasn’t the smartest
I was as man as man can be

And most of all;
As they grow, and find better ways to do what I said couldn’t be done,

They shouldn’t be afraid to discard my letters and fly the plane of their imaginations to outer space and back.

For no matter how sacred we decide to treat the scrolls of heroes past,
And bend always to their judgments on matters, using them as the ultimate yardstick to measure life.

I dare say that many of them were also as confused as we are at some points of important decisions,
And to crown it all, some chose wrongly.

Which only goes to say that we with them were all normal humans.

And if I won’t let another man dictate what I do and decide I run my life, I’m including the great ancestors too.

 

*Omenala is the Igbo(Nigerian Language) word that means tradition

SHUV.

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Returning to our root is the most important journey of life. The place where we carefully look inward daily and receive a permanent change, a change that can only come from the most sincere core of our being. 

We all must seek to know God, the one who makes things work without human consent, without our permission. 

Our Divine Centre the source of all creation whose existence and faithfulness cannot easily be denied. 

The importance of this turning in, far supercedes our knowledge ( gnosis) of right and wrong, good and evil, history and name calling, revelations of men and sojourners of relative truths, For all these things are but factors in our pursuit merely because of the human senses.  What we see, feel, smell, taste or perceive to be ideal. 

But consider a man born deaf, blind and mute with no feeling on his fingertips, a man locked out of this physical world, in it, yet devoid of its infiltration, shall he too not have the privilege of finding His Maker within? Surely God is not unjust, for such a man will find Yahweh without ever having to rely on definitions of society, culture, assertions and self. 

For Adonai is NOT Religion.

The real life is the one within. The one unseen. Where such a man though he be in the world finds he is locked out from it, he will become subject to the real life he sees and in it he would either find Perfect peace, or turmoil and disease. For God is not unjust, HE will never take a man for Himself devoid of Shuv ( A conscious choice. a turn/ answer to the call of His Love).

To dwell on the frailty of this existence, savouring its empty promises and hoping in vain glory is to remain subject to the human senses.  Like the four elements of the earth are strong but without the fifth, their true potential can never be realised, so also the answer to Yahwehs inward call is for one reason alone, a journey to know the fifth. A journey to know Grace. 

Grace to grow, grace to love, grace to continually shun outward circumstances and believe.

To find Him, this pearl of great price is where death ends and life for man begins. But it all starts with a searching soul,

As the deer pants for the water, the soul must lung for Him.

For desire, a burning hunger that cannot be satisfied with anything but Him is the beginning of the journey. 

Never the less, in the physical realm, the soul must constantly set its lungings on the eternal, for only spirit with spirit can meet. 


True desire begets surrender


 No sooner than when the soul hungers and thirsts after righteousness from the very depths within ( Christ the living spring) , he begins to see that there is so much more he can do without. 

There is a powerful pull within, a gnawing for oneness, an intercourse with Divinity Himself. The purest of Depths calling to depth. 

Surrender will beget power. The three fold chord of the Divine that cannot be broken for all eternity. There is power in the alignment of Spirit, Soul and Body. Only He is Spirit. He is the life of man. 

This is the salvation of man. 

Not his ability to enter realms beyond his five senses, but the privilege of recognising true Light. 

From here onward to eternity, omnipotence takes over, causing fruitful multiplication of true Light! 

He shall bring forth sons (epignosis), not only in His Image but after His Likeness. 

And the Truth of His Light will arise and do what Light does best.  Shine!

Everyday Jesus does not Promote Mediocrity

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Christianity has celebrated mediocrity to the point that I now feel that Christians can’t be more than mediocres.

They burden me with how wonderful the choir of saints in heaven would be 

Then give me a hay’ven cacophony to soot my soul

Deeply longing for a good music.

They tell me that it’s the heart I sang with that mattered

Forgetting Martha and her service

They want me to stop listening to melodies the so-called sons of Lucifer made

Yet travel the same circle of shouting, pouting the name of Jesus

As though the dissonance their producer made could

Be made whole by the name

( Jesus has a mighty name we know).

But hiding under the tent that you are shouting Jesus

Disturbing the peace of my ear drums; would never turn salt water fresh.

They are inspired by the holy Spirit

But never have they tried to inspire their talent…

At least by getting more than vocal training.

Few names have decided not to follow their lead.
Christians have told me to drop my goals at the alter

To never mind how good or bad my academic performance is.

They told me that all that mattered is Christ having an expression in me

As I seat leisurely in my seating room praying and studying the Bible alone

While Chinese that know little of him develop the fastest computers

And Indians showcasing their literati on YouTube

As they flood us with tutorials on virtually all spheres of knowledge.

They told me that all am meant to offer YouTube is Just Jesus through his words

No need to mention things that are of no heavenly values.
They said I should not have my pastime with romance and fantasy novels

Yet only have ages old Francine Rivers’ and a hand full of few other good writers to

Present to me.

They expect me to read Paradise Lost till I become born again again

Then push Paradise Regained as soon as the deed is done

But have no new poets outside the Americans that I barely hear 

To quench my taste

(Christ will quench my taste they say)

They would make me an outcast for reading The Da’Vinci Code

Call me demonised for reading Inferno

Make me feel that I have no sense of direction for reading Ellen Hilderland’s

And expect me to patronise their poorly depicted last super

Which they have decided to leave as bland as it has always been.
They told me nothing else matters except singing in heaven

Leaving with the the assumption that I would end up useless in heaven.
They told me that leaving my name on the sand of time like Naymar 

Is worthless

But still recount the stories of David and Goliath

Forgetting that it was the goal-ie-heart

Of David that made the story there.
Dear Christian,

You are called to be more than this poorly edited version of yourself that you have kept at.

Look around you and maybe I would have no need trying to convince you that he, whom you serve is perfection…

So, be ye perfect like him

© Symolean