Even as my heart spit its bitterness, more swells within. My soul breaches on a daily basis by the sorrow our union has brought. I am plagued, torn and ripped into shrewd of miseries. I let go of my tears yet more is left to spill and my throat hungers for the blood thirsty blades of a knife to end what seems to be the remains of a ruined life.
I recall those days your voice made my heart swung merrily on stars. The joyful tears which leaked when I opened my eyes to see you and closed them to picture you. The journey of what we once shared began the exact day your gentle smile made my heart quivered. So,I envisioned our love as an orchid of morning glories and roses. From an heartfelt kiss to a soft stare ,I painted a world of beautiful colours. You did too. Didnt you? You ran wild in my thought and every moment with you, i prized. But why Raymond? What happened to the love we once shared and the passion that flared? Happiness is far fetched and dark grief clouds me. Our home is no better of than ruins. It injures my pride. Our love has gone sour and cold. I saw the state you left the house seven months ago when I announced to you I was filling a divorce. Panic and bitterness stricken ,you were helpless and weak to your knuckles. I saw it all, the dark anger and frustration in yours eyes and the tears you fought successfully to keep back. I was in no better state than yours myself. I hated it all,yes the bruises and blows that came with the fact that you and our marriage didn’t meet up to my expectations or should I say dreams?
I do not want to render complains about you this time but to mourn my hopeless woe for the choice I had made which now holds my conscience at stake. I want the divorce no more. You maybe surprised to hear that but the truth is, when you left, i was sore with pains,dishevelled, dispirited with emptiness. In that terrifying time,I sought help tearfully and found it in the scriptures. I seeked God diligently through his words. I realized,that I never loved you .As sincere as this confession, it wounds my pride because its ashaming. Christ led me to a particular scripture. 13th book of Corinthians and love was the whole picture. If love be patient, tenderly kind, graciously merciful, selflessly and cheerily giving, enduring, bearing, believing, hoping, seeking not my own, long suffering and even to the extent of seeing no wrong. I realized, my love for you wasn’t in complete sincerity. My heart is plagued with guilt and Gods word has whiped my heart to bleed its filth. I came to know also that love is not assumed but learnt and built from the very role model who loved the church and selflessly laid down his life for man “Jesus” .You see,I am changed. Christ word has transformed my deformed heart.
I am very much sorry for the bittered complains, outbursts of wrath and anger. Self seeking and slowness in forgiving and forgetting. Those loopholes now makes me gnash my teeth in agony.
If you would give me a chance, I am set to build our home on the foundation which is true- Christ.
Raymond, the more I labour in his words is the more am chastised and more I fall deeply in love with you as it were in the beginning. Sincere love doesn’t fail- 1st Corinthians 13v8. If love be true, it overcomes all forms of adversity, its genuity makes it grow stronger with each assault upon its existence because it is other centered not self-centered. Protected in humility which blossoms only in the lowly minds. I have held your heart in mine believing it would heal. So each day,I render an heartfelt prayer to God- one who creates and recreate things to give us a new home. I have spiced my life with the love and affection Christ has taught me. Friends, families alike can testify to it. However,I plead to you to come back home and let’s make use of the bibles principle to heal our home. God is never promising us it is going to be as easy as eating bread and wine but with selfless giving and grace which he has made available to us,we could stand the test of time. Conclusively,I missed you so much and send to you across the miles,my tender love , warm embraces and my most passionate kiss. Please come back home sweet peas.


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