Reviewer: Ebisike, Amarachi Angela
Date of Publication: 2007.
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon.
“Tongues….. Most animals have one. Some snakes have forked tongues. Lizards smell with their tongues. Frogs and toads have tongues that whip out at incredible speeds to catch flies and other insects. Even though a human tongue cannot smell out dinner, reel in the catch of the day or reach to the tops of trees to pick fruit, it can do something even more amazing. The human tongue can create words. Words are an incredible gift, and as we have seen, they have the potential for good or evil. ” Sharon says.
The Power of a Woman’s Words is a challenging, thought-provoking and character – correcting book. Even though it has a feminine title, the male folk will find it incredibly relevant. The book talks about the damages and triumphs caused by the words we speak.
Sharon wisely divided the contents of her book into three sections. They are;
1. The Power We Posses
2. The People We impact
3. The Potential to Change
The first section talks about the awesome gift of words given to us by God. Bound in one small group of muscles called the tongue lies an instrument with huge potential for good or evil, to build up or to tear down, to empower or devour, to heal or to kill. It all depends on how and when the joining together and the splitting apart takes place. We would never carelessly fling a match out of a car window while passing a national forest, and yet, many times we carelessly toss fiery words about as we pass through life, without caring about its destructive effects. Sharon explains that the desperate need for the human soul are words of encouragement and fellowship. People miss the bars when they become Christians. They don’t miss the alcohol. They miss the fellowship. The fellowship where no one would judge, condemn, nag, discourage or tear them down. Sharon further explains that the Hebrew word for mouth is peh. And it is translated as ‘edge’. Like a knife, the tongue has a sharp, powerful edge that can either be used to heal or destroy. She used a couple of true life stories and biblical teachings to show that we all have the power to turn the course of peoples’ lives around with our words.
The second section of the book discusses the power of impact that a woman’s words has over her husband, children, friends, and fellow believers. This section is packed with so many life-changing stories and testimonies. Above all, you will discover that the future of your children and the overall well being of your spouse and loved ones depend mostly on the words that you say to them.
“It’s a terrible thing to be a part of a family where the only things that are noticed are mistakes. The pain from constant critics and correction can become a chronic source of insecurity long after the child has become an adult.”Sharon says.
Our words are lingering echoes that will either urge our loved ones to accomplish great dreams or become losers in life. The writer also warns against being stingy with good words or holding back a compliment or praise. In her exact words, she says, “scatter compliments! Plant affirmations! Sow courage! Water with kindness! Fertilize with prayers!” (Page 58).
We have the choice to either become chief cheerleaders or chief critic to the people we meet everyday. Notwithstanding, we have to be specific in our praise or compliment. Being specific moves encouraging words from good to great. For example, “you are terrific!” is a good pat on the back. But, you can be specific by saying, “I couldn’t believe how far you hit that baseball. Man, you’ve got an incredible swing.” Do you see the difference? Sharon also gave a list of words to avoid and words to speak to our loved ones. Some words to avoid are:
• ‘you can’t do anything right’
• Why can’t you make good grades like your sister/brother
• You will never learn, will you?
• You don’t appreciate me
• You are a liar. (instead, say ‘you told a lie’)
• You are a thief. (instead, say ‘ you stole something ‘)
Some words to use on a daily basis are:
• I love spending time with you
• I’m glad you are my son/daughter /friend/husband/wife
• I’m proud of you
• How can I pray for you today?
• I trust your decisions
• I will always love you
• I’m sorry.
The above is just a few of the words listed by the writer of this amazing book. I love this book because it’s very practical. If you put your mind to it, you can easily practice it. It is transformative.
Does it mean that we will never reprimand or correct our loved ones when they go wrong? Of course not! But, we must do it in love.
“There are times in any friendship when confrontation is necessary, but we must always make sure that the confrontation is wrapped in prayer and tied with the lovely bow of love. If we take any joy whatsoever in the process, then we must stop and check our motives and attitudes. ” Sharon. (page100)
Finally, the last section tells about the potential to change. It explains our potential to turn a new leaf. It also talks about the importance of silence and timing. Words must not proceed out of our mouth at all times. There is a time to keep quiet and practically place a palm over our mouths. According to Sharon, “Whether the subject is gossip or grumbling, silence is the Golden key that keeps the door to destructive words locked away. And sometimes, the most powerful words are no words at all, for silence can be an outward sign of inward strength.” (page 199).
Just because something is true doesn’t mean you should say it. If your comment is going to be derogatory, it’s better you keep quiet. Also, timing is very important even if the word is right.
Aside from spoken words, written words are also powerful instruments. “When words are penned down, they serve as a powerful tool to refresh the soul. On many occasions a timely note of encouragement has given me the push I needed to continue on.” Sharon says.
Men, women, boys and girls are seeing themselves in our words. Many are determining their worth, their potential, and even their destiny by what they hear from us. Will your words reflect the fact that each individual is ‘God’s masterpiece’? You have that potential, you know. It’s right under your nose.
Do you want to have the oratory skills that will affect your world positively?
Do you really want to change the way you talk?
Do you want to gear your loved ones and people you meet to greatness?
Do you want to have a healthy long lasting relationship?
Do you want your world to see the love of God through you?
Then, The Power of a Woman’s Words by Sharon Jaynes is a book that you must read, study, assimilate, practice and recommend to others.
And lest I forget, look beyond the title because it is a book for all.