SPENT


Empty
Blunt blur, dull, sore, cranked up crawl
Slow down, sly turn, play catch up
Pursue, frenzied, ecstatic, hysterical, delirious dance about
Trip, fall face downwards, a crash,  fiasco, aborted project
Dead end, failed, finally finished off
Left for dead, abandoned by fair weather friends
Fast lane veered into fantastic plunge
Hopes up, now laughing stock, discussion subject, ridiculed object
Empire chap once was, now sweeps streets soiled by penury stricken soles
Drained of life
Spent

Starting point: I rolled with the high fliers for real
Serene seas I swam, now so surreal,  the memory
Warning signs flashed, grew brighter as the zenith approached
The end is here: Prepare to meet your God
The end is hither, within sight, as infirmity smites me slowly
Health gone, friends evaporate, all hell breaks loose
Forget the parasitic fellas, they’re scavengers, no more

So Job’s scope silently settled into
Prying eyes prick thin skins like mine
Dark skies, black times, stark blindness borne by them
Throwing Pity Parties, resigning to brooding, moody, sullen, sour look
Next turn: Suicidal tendency
The plea now: Save my life; more aptly, make me a new one
Who’s to hear, to bear the tear-drenched howls as decent request?

Strange sense says to me to come up
Who’s there, who cares where none else needs me
Who dares to put up with this heap of flagging faith
Who bears in friendly fortitude, four Fridays of weary ramble
Many more months of mourning, falling face, fracture and frailty
Waiting until I’m drained, broken, defenseless, bare and done with
Coming into loss, forming it unto gain
Mashed mud modeled for moulding
Again, as pain marks the lines of grand design, contours divine
I look up, and see Him, see His smile
Eternity might be what is required for me to understand
But the beauty being made is Theocentric
The expired past departs for life reborn to commence
Where its not fame and struggle that pays, but love and Godly courage that reigns.

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