Bang on the door of consciousness hard as you can
The numbness is sphere-filling, sensation-rebuffing
The sway of glass panes’ finesse are blunt as blues
Your rejoicing over joys coming about makes me roll sullen eyes
Dim mirage to me, your brightest sparks, your fullest bonfires
The stars shine as brightly as dying light devoid of fuel
A universe growing dark without living aim
A whole system, complex pursuits and gains and losses
A mesh-mash of dry crumbs
Give me your best moments, the most sterling of your won accolades
I’ll find them dry as the Sahara’s dust
Whorl wildness, spin cataclysm, recount desperation heightened to lung tops
All of your most fancied tales of hearts pounding hard and breath escaping fast
They’ll never make me twitch an inch, never force me to bat a lid
They’re washing away, faded glories, if ever they were worth much
This is how I feel about becoming excited for these things
Give me a reason to have wide-eyed wonder, to be awed by sights and sounds
I want to live and to be happy in living
Not just to smile at dying dogs and clap at swerving flies

The faith I’ve been handed promises me more
There’s word of hope, a whole new world saturated and overflowing with meaning
One, but all-encompassing; single, but enough
I cannot see it, but they say its there
So I’ve got to get to it
I’ve got to get to Him, or give in to Him
Let Him, the life, have me
Resolving the struggle is what the fight is about
The war’s dénouement is the stage for the last and greatest battle
God, the life I seek is hidden and revealed in You
All I have is nothing but this hope
Something I’ve been handed; a lifeline
I’ll use the rope, the bridge, the route
The path of sacrifice, of gaining all that ever really would be
Giving up my set determination to spit upon life
Letting God be enough, though the road be tough and unwieldy.


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