I feel lost

Lost in a wilderness unknown

Fill of sheets and ropes

Tying me bound without freedom

And I search inside of me

To know exactly

How I ended up here

I feel like a deflated tyre

One whose air has been seized

Now I gasp for breathe

And fight for life without strength

My weakness seems to make me weaker

How exactly did I end up here?

My joy seems stolen

No more pleasure in fellowship

Yet my heart wants to get swollen

With the words that gives life

I search aimlessly for companionship

I seek earnestly for understanding

It seems to me that I have lost the path

The path that seems too precious to me

My friend seems quite far to me

Yet I strongly feel

He’s standing right by my side

Waiting for me to align with him

But how can I

When the wool in my eyes

Fights to keep me blind still

And insensitive to His presence

Oh!

How I have lost out

Lost out in the joy of pureness

Lost out in the peace of Christianity

Now, everything seems so vague to me

Unreal and unworthy to my attention,

Still I know,

That is an easy route to destruction.

How then can I be saved?

How exactly do I get out?

Out of this darkness,

Out of this jungle,

Out of this wilderness,

How on earth did I end up here?

My self-will seems stronger than me,

But I know a grater will

That brings good news

Yet, towing that road seems too difficult.

How do I survive this?

My Lord my saviour and my strength,

I have missed you a great deal.

Am ashamed to say am SORRY again

But I can’t help it

But, to call for help,

Not that I enjoy breaking your heart,

Not that I enjoy fooling myself either

Just that my will seems stronger

I need you to take it out completely

And plant your will into me.

It’s never going to be easy to be perfect

But, perfection is all you look up for

Trust and total believe is all you’ve sought in man

But, I know you leave me

To keep groping in darkness.

I know I’ve messed up

So I come openly with a lowly heart

A heart full of regrets and remorse

Waiting eagerly to be refined

Refined with the refiners fire

But first Lord,

One thing I ask earnestly, that you

Rekindle the fire in me.

Help me Lord!

To be established in your love.

I love you so much Lord

Help me to express it in manners

That myself can’t understand.

But, let it just be that am doing

All that my heart has always

Wanted to do —LOVE YOU!

Lord Jesus, please give me back the zeal to study the word, fellowship with you, and be in your ever abiding presence. I love you my Lord –THE LORD MY SAVIOUR AND MY STRENGTH!!