story – Page 4 – Christ a poet

“Eche! True! (Places finger on tongue and points to heavens) I didn’t intend posting it but because you already said I would, I said ‘what’s there? Just post it after all there is an insight'” THIS IS ME SPEAKING

See what happened.. Me, Dare, Tochuku, Uzor, Eche and two other classmates were waiting in front of the library to write the ‘famous’ CEDR cbt exam in the library.

(CEDR- centre for development and research- exam has always been famous before it became multiple choiced cbt-computer based test- coz of the amount of F’s they gave but now it is famous coz on this day of our exam, first batch out of five which were scheduled for 2pm started by 4pm and so by the time it got to 2^nd and 3^rd batches, people were fainting. )

Okay.. so we were waiting oo..then I heard one department called up..it was sooo weird.. very different from mine..i was just wondering how two people will be in same school but have drastically different experiences and knowledge. I said it and Eche naaa said… lemme not say what he said.. ehee but you see..it’s crazy how we can’t have same experiences. How neither me nor you can be born into Pete Edochie’s home and be born into Will Smith’s home and still be born into our home.

It’s crazy that we can’t attend King’s college and FGC okposi and urban girls’ sec sch and still attend the secondary school we attended. We can’t school at UNN, and University of Texas and Ida polytechnic, Kogi and still school in the higher institution we were or are or will be schooling at.

We cannot study architecture and engineering and theatre arts and still study the course we are studying. We cannot be born in May and be born in January and still be born in our own month.

We each have individual lives, individual experiences, and in summary individual stories. Lol. This causes all the difference in the world so we want to know what it feels like to be this or that and live here or there and become this or that and have this or that. But I don’t think it will make any sense if it were that way.. I mean all these differences make life spiced up and not boring. It makes us able to have lots of stories to hear and be able to tell our own.. and one thing is constant, in each person’s story, there are tragic and there are comic moments.

The best we can do is to live our one lives well.. make the best of our own stories and see them to their end.. I know and not just think this time around that we can actually better our stories by featuring in other people’s, we feature atimes without consciously knowing but we can also feature consciously, show up sometimes in the middle of a scene and change the course, of course into a better outcome.

This is our multi storied world.. we should each live the one life we have.

#grins

…and just again I was disappointed. It felt like I slept through the journey and just when I thought I had landed, my hopes got crashed.
He, Mr Law, was really cool, even cooler you could chill drinks in him. He promised me satisfaction if I’ll continually obey. I could almost swear I had this locked in with a B and K because I was all ready to do what he wanted.
I gave in. Like a skin to a boil, I gave in for a swell time of my life.

I wanted to please him and earn his love and trust. But sooner than later, the usual dreaded realization dawned and I prayed to race out for it was all empty and void.
Worse still each try left me feeling so incompetent. He even made me see that it’s all my fault, all the time.
Maybe, I gotta get up and try and try and try…quitters never quit yea?

I’ve tried many times but it just doesn’t seem to work.
Something tells me that there must be someone, yes that one guy…that guy that loves completely.

But where is he?

My Soul longs to see

With him I crave to be

Maybe he exists only in my fantasy.
Even if he does exist, how much longer should I wait?

How much more time do I have to spare?

“A woman’s time flies…” or so they say;

I hope I’ll still be in mine when he calls.
I am really tired of testing and trying, tasting and spitting out.

My soul gets parched each time I do.

I just hope I’ll still be in my time when he calls.
Still lost in the noise of my very own thoughts, Which had long started to sound like music, I didn’t realize I had wandered off into the road I once denied.

A road so broad yet lacked space.
In this vagabond state, unable to discern what the morrow holds and barely caring what happens next, I heard my name.
I was stunned ‘cos never before had my name sounded such harmony.

T’was the most beautiful sound that has ever walked into my ears.
This voice so gentle yet strong and firm called for me to exchange my burdens for rest but having wandered so long, it sounded too good for trust…and again I felt there ought to be a price for it. Nothing goes for nothing.
In my state of doubt still, the voice beckoned. It still sounded too easy, I couldn’t give into that. My old lovers weren’t that nice.
The sweet voice persisted and then my eyes opened and I saw a spark of light which flickered in front of me.
Nothing and nobody can be compared to the one I saw standing in front of me when my eyes fully opened.

His eyes held so much love that penetrated and irrigated my soul.

The intensity of his tenderness was unbearable so that I fell, yes, I fell into his strong arms where my safety rests assured.

My head rested on a heart that beats for me and I drowned in a satisfaction that has never been conceived by nature.
I couldn’t help but ask Mr Grace where he had been all this while. As he spoke to me I saw his love. A love that is not affected by my inconsistencies. I didn’t even have to work for it…it was free! I just accepted it and that’s all I ever did.
He found me!

And sorry I was not in my time, I was in His.
-HIS Ruth