THE GAY MISCONCEPTION

It is routine for the ‘boys’ to take turns in getting the bill after each hang out. Today, Ugonna got the bill and after the jabs and hearty humorous perks, it was time to go home. As they got up to leave, Arinze with a smirk placed his hands on Ugonna’s shoulder and said, ‘Thanks dear’.
‘God punish you there’, said Ugonna violently shrugging off his hand.
The rest of the group exploded in hysterical laughter including Arinze. Ugonna joined in almost immediately. There was a silent understanding of what just transpired.

Something similar happened some time ago at work. My colleague and I noticed two guys holding hands. We fixated on their hands waiting for them to unlock their grip in time for us to conclude it is usual but they didn’t indulge our expectation.

‘I thought guys don’t hold hands for too long’, my colleague whispered. ‘Perhaps they are gay’. On another thought, I added ‘it may
be a normal thing’
. We went about our business and forgot all about it.

And yes! I should mention a particular encounter that I am still mad at myself over. Women hardly give me lifts (no, that’s not what I am mad at). I may be wrong to presume men give women lifts more than women give women lifts but that has been my experience. On this particular day however, a pretty lady gave me a lift. She seemed a bit older so when she asked if I was going her way, I said ‘yes ma’ and hopped in. ‘Please use your seat belt’. I fastened it instantly. ‘Are we supposed to wear these leg chains on the right or left leg? I noticed you are wearing yours on the right. I usually wear mine on the left leg’. I then relaxed, I giggled and told
her I didn’t think there are any rules to how it should be worn. We got into discussion on people’s perception of it as a trend and her perception of people’s perception. We talked about self-consciousness. By the time I got to where I was going to drop, I had already decided I like her and wanted her to be my friend. What do I do? Collect her number? I thought that may be
weird or overstepping of boundaries. I knew I should collect it but before I made up my mind on how to go about it, I had already said ‘thank you and have a nice day’. I watched her drive away wishing she asked for my number and only then realising we didn’t even ask each other’s names.

I wonder if this way of thought we have is as a result of societal conditioning. I bet it would have been easier to ask a guy for his number. Ugonna would have thought it cool if a girl called him ‘dear’ with a hand on his shoulder and there shouldn’t be anything gay about two guys holding hands or lingering in a hug. At a point in life however, there is usually a self-awakening for the open minded when he decides to live in accordance to his convictions irrespective of how unconventional it is.

The beauty of our individuality is masked by societal construct. Tomorrow we’ll talk about the damaging effects of living in accordance to societal expectation. Today let’s focus on not letting its rigidity infiltrate our minds with perversion.

– ChyD
(c) 2020

The Upgrade

I love you Lord;
For your voice means the world to me;
Say it, I’ll do it,
I needn’t understand
For you have made your dwelling with me.

O Lord you will lead me through the valleys,
Of the shadows of the death of me,
You O Lord puts the word in season in my mouth;
You have made my tongue the pen of a ready writer,
For you have chosen me for deeds noble.

I will never really understand your love,
How you choose to love an adulterer,
Or make prayers in folded palms,
For the ones whom a hole,
They drilled into your palms,
Or choose to let a kiss betray you,
And yet still gave your life,
As a sacrifice! All for what?
To prove your love for me,
Yes, I have denied you more than three times,
Yet, you choose to love me,
I guess my eyes will always see love differently,
Love that crossed my I’s,
Love on the crossed-eye
love of God, for I!

How do I tell this story,
A tale as old as two cities,
Before time could even speak,
My brain never seems to figure out the math,
Of how you could love scandalously,
How a Prince gave up everything,
To love a low-life like me!
My scars didn’t scare Him,
Rather He kissed them!
Now I see nothing but love!

And when I kept at you,
You looked at me so tender
You said, “spread your mercy abroad,
To the good and to the ungrateful,
You’re like me that way,
What I do for my living,
This is the upgrade you need”.

Olaoye Adeleye,
Favour Omeje,
©2020

Once Again

Once again , here I stand
Covering my face with a face pad
The world shouldn’t see these scars,
It’s petrifying to behold,
It reveals a story untold,
Lost hope, lost happiness and dreams torn apart.

Once again, here I stand
With my saviour hand in hand,
Saved, healed and restored.
Once battered but now full of joy
Forgetting the past story because the son has given a glory that lasts.

Princess Pirinye
© 2020

Die To Live

We die to live
Story of my life
I surely do get Abraham now
How he so loved Isaac
And how His God wanted His love dead

We die to live
Story of my life
Ambitious as it were
Drives and passions in my veins
God’s gifts to me, He wants from me
An offering of love to Him
The death of me

He would not let me rot in grave
This is the joy of rapture
Resurrection
Morning
He gives me back my life that my joy might be full

We die to live; story of my life

Favour Omeje
© 2020

“Stay hydrated”

“Drink water and mind your business”
The beautiful river of my motherland
Now seems like a wasteland of hopelessness
My business, now more popular than bitcoin

I’m sorry if these waters taste like disappointment
But I won’t apologise for wanting more
I’ve been called worse than Oliver Twist
I’ve had five men in my bed, yes
I own my past, so stop slut shaming

I’ve had five men in my bed,
They all left with a piece of me
Now I live with Shame, our relationship is complicated
At least he’s better than Lust with his flowery words
Who took my innocence and a piece of my heart

Lust was better than Anger,
He sent my family packing
Anger was better than Desperation,
He stripped me of my sanity
Desperation sent me into the arms of Worthlessness

But we just didn’t last
I’d rather not talk about Self Deprecation
As pretentious as anyone with two first names
So I’m sorry the rivers of my motherland
Do not seem to be enough

I was content in my discontentment
Till I met him
As comely as the dew of the morning
His face bright as the sun
And his eyes stripped me of all my layers

When he spoke to me, I felt beautiful
He gave me water from the wells of His being
Then He asked me to bring Shame
And everyone else who’d made my business theirs
So I ran into town screaming

“Drink! Drink!! For out of my belly now flows, rivers of living water!!!”

Miracle Ifechukwu
(c) 2020

CAP Monthly E-Magazine // March 2020 (Free Download)

FREE DOWNLOAD

In this edition of the CAPMonthly E-Magazine we discuss vastly on the topic of love. Our guest, Mr Muyiwa Olarewaju talks on this topic and shares some personal stories and anecdotes that will boost your day.

You can get your free download here and you can also share with your friends. Be sure to share with us your questions, concerns and what you look forward to in the next month’s publication.

God bless.