Tag: Sanity

Gift

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Gross is the word for it
That pain accompanied by loss
Overwhelming the reality of it all
We would rather take a walk
Better still a break from the fall
The very point where life’s meaning got raked.
Then what?
Stay locked up in an abyss giving access to non

Pain
Loss
A drawn blind obstructing the reflection of dawn’s light
Howbeit take a life jacket
Never walk alone
Of a truth nothing would the eye see in total darkness but through the walls the hand can feel until the candle stand comes to sight.

Sure a stranger in a tunnel lying in the middle of nowhere
Call a friend
Though sanity be raped a million times divinity will come through and would you like a baby wrap with his blanket of love.

Ebube
© 2022

You Are The World

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Hey You!
When Jesus said that He came to save the world, He meant You!
Because You against the world is You against a brick wall. It’s a hard hit with a concussion of disorders.
You question His love for You when you measure it against the evil in the world.
When Jesus thinks the world, He thinks You!
Wholeness, life in abundance, health, prosperity, peace and joy, He thinks for You.
You may insist; “I don’t need saving, maybe He should go ahead and save the rest of the world instead”. But how can He save the world if He doesn’t save You?
You are His world!
You are the world!


The world doesn’t exist outside You.
Your sadness it displays
Your ignorance it conveys
Your pain it bears
The world exists because You do
In your wholeness, it is made whole
In your sanity, it is made sane
In your health, it is healed
In your joy, it overflows.
To reject Jesus’ help is to watch your World crash and burn.
You are His world!
You are the world!


Ijeoma Obi
© 2020

Numb

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There is a numbness in my head
A searing pain that threatens to strip me of my sanity
And blur my senses of whatever hold on life they have left
So much that my hands cannot thump my chest
Cannot allow me to say it is alright and that I have help within
Groaning out to remind me of who I am and why there’s life in me, but I scream

The numb becomes a pain that only allows me see the trauma
And bitterness and anger I carried for so long
That I could not forgive myself because of
And has now taken control of who I am
The numb has spread to my fingers
I cannot touch my face, to feel the life that lives in me
Cannot feel the warmth on my skin
The blood that flows through my veins

I stagger backwards and I feel a panic rising in my chest
Up to my windpipe threatening to come out through my mouth and when it does
I gasp for air, for a breath
I steady myself by a wall and with wide eyes I take deep breaths
Swallowing as much as I can force down then the tears come
Willingly, patiently, next they become sobs, loud
Choking sobs and in that moment I feel the life seep out of me
Slowly, without a fight and my legs, weak, throb
Throb so bad I can no longer stand so I slide down while hugging myself

It is not going to be alright
It won’t be alright until I see the help right within me
Silently saying ‘it’s okay’ all the while I was fighting with myself
Telling me to stop and allow him fight because my defenses are down
With the numbness and pain
But I could not see it because I took my eyes off him and focused on me
My pain, my panic, my hurt and so it’s not going to be alright
Until I stop fighting alone

IFIOKABASI OKOP
© 2019

SUICIDE

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I’ve written lots of things and deleted it,
I’m short of letters, talkless about words,
I’ve crumpled the pages of my notebooks,
written lots of doodles, smile at one minute,
And then cry at the next,
But now I’m just typing,

I smile at things that make me happy,
I frown at uncertainties,
Should I? Shouldn’t I? Can I? What if?
Questions…….
Afraid to take a decisive step,
I sit and sit,
Becoming a smiling mannequin,
For all and sundry,

I strive to make everyone smile,
All the time,
At the expense of my piece of mind,
Hey you, Be this……….
You there, Be that…….
Come on, I think you’re better this way……
On and on, they say,
Till my world spirals and gets sucked up in “voices”,

“Voices”,
Till I became dead to the VOICE,
Seriously, I can’t even hear HIM no more,
I’m at the end of the rope,
Teetering on the brink of sanity,
Toying with, no, relishing the thought of going over the edge,
Falling down, down, down and down,
Smiling at the very thought of it,
Dying,

Dying??
Why?
For whom?
To what end?
To punish who?
The voice said.
Myself, I reply.
Myself, for being a fool.
For hating myself.
For being a piece of dead leaf
Being tossed to and fro by the tumultuous wave.
For not loving myself., I answered,

And then what next, He asked?
That, I don’t have the answer to,
I’d be dead already,
Okay, you worthless piece,
Since that’s how you see yourself,
That’s what I’ll call you,
You were not put in the world to just breathe in its air,
Drink is water, eat it’s food, enjoy its holidays,
Spend its monies, and just give up like that,

You exist, you don’t just live,
Love yourself, not just others,
Don’t exchange peace of mind with piece of friends,
It ain’t worth it,
You are worth more,
Ah! So much more than rubies,
So much more than money,
Because of just one thing,
I love you!
So, get down from that cliff,
Sit down, breathe 3,2,1, there you are!
Stand up, dust your shoes,
The world is waiting for you!

Emenike Chinwendu

© 2018