JUDGEMENT AND PERCEPTION

It’s very easy to feel like you’re better than the next person. Maybe because comparing lets you know how well you are doing and soothes your
conscience. It’s natural to judge a matter, and formulate assumptions to why that lady is begging on the road…

beside triplet children

Or why that man is living with that lady. Like coming to fast possible conclusions about everything we see, somehow makes us smart,
experienced, conscious people.

But the truth?
There could be many reasons why something is happening the way it is. Our judgements of personalities and actions could be wrong, and very wrong. Many times, they are half-baked because of what we think we know;
like thinking that every young man in his 30’s living with his parents is lazy,
every lady who hasn’t received her healing “doesn’t have enough faith.”

Like thinking that this guy is so deceived, he still believes he should welcome the Holy Spirit.
Like thinking that wearing jeans or ripped jeans is the most irresponsible wear on earth, for only sons of the devil.
Like thinking we could have done better if we were in a fellow’s shoes.

WRONG!

We may not fail in the area we so judge, but we fail, because we are frail.

Sometimes, we judge because we haven’t been in similar situations. Who even gives us this standard to judge? To condemn?
Jesus said, “…if any of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone.

Because we are lost in our own ways, assuming that for one reason or the other, we are in a better position to condemn another, we are more effectively breaking souls than healing them. Those eyes burning with judgement, warning of a terrible future, and hell.

Yet, we profess Christ.

We say we are born of love, and yet we say people are beyond help.
We feel that some persons are not to be seen with us.
Our Lord wasn’t ashamed to be seen with “sinners.”
Our Lord sat and ate with sinners.
Our Lord spoke compassionately with sinners, they dared to ask, “You seem to be a prophet.”
No threats of brimstone from our Lord.
No judgements from our Lord, except towards hypocrites who concentrated on appearances.
No casting away from our Lord who asks that all come as they are.

Our Lord Jesus Christ who laid his life down for not just my neighbour in sin, but for me too,
who was undeserving.

My Lord teaches me to love.
My Lord teaches me to love without reason.
My Lord teaches me to look beyond appearances and laws.
My Lord teaches me to place compassion over judgement.
My Lord teaches me to bear my brother’s burden, and to do so in meekness, because I…

I am not beyond temptation.

I have the nature of God, and I consciously choose love and compassion over judgement, perception, and inaccurate conclusions.

– Buzhoo
(c) 2020

YOUR UNCOUTH TONGUE AND NARCISSIST MIND

I spoke at length with Nelson on the phone and listened to him narrate some things he was going through. At the end of our conversation, he asked if I had any advice for him and I said no.

I take your pieces of advice to heart you know. I remember when you said my sandals were ugly and that I had a bad sense of fashion. I never wore sandals again till date and I gave away those set of clothes you complained about. My mother was angry because those clothes were designers and she bought them from the United States.”


Father Lord,” I screamed, “when did I say that one? Please limit this fabrication“.


The day we went from Shoprite to Celebrities to see Ezinne.”

A flashback came to my mind and I vaguely remembered saying that.


To be sure, I asked again, “did you say you stopped wearing sandals on account of what I said seven years ago?” He nodded.


I slouched and heaved quietly while I entertained fifty shades of conflicting emotions. I apologized for saying what I said and the effect it had on him. He said I shouldn’t apologize because it made him mindful of what he now wears but I saw it damaged him rather than helped. It wasn’t about finding out the worth of the clothes but the insensitivity behind my actions of condemning his choice of clothes was mean.


In an angry but casual feat, my close friend, Mark, said I was self-centered two days after a conversation we had and he later ghosted me. I asked our mutual friend, Cynthia, and she revealed she used to see me as self-centered but stopped focusing on that because it was ultimately who I was.

I had an amplified emotional breakdown but most importantly, I did a self-reflection to see what about me was selfish. I didn’t see a thing but I believed them because my two best friends could not be wrong about me.

On a quest to be a better person, I told my mentor who made me narrate the situation that warranted such accusation. When I did, he said there are always two reasons for criticism; one is to put a person down and the other is for correction. He said in the context of my situation, it was to put me down and it tells more about the person than of me. I asked Cynthia to tell me specific acts that portrayed my selfishness and she couldn’t recall any.

The thing is, that an aura of not letting people walk all over you can easily be perceived as different negative things including selfishness. Sometimes, people call people they can manipulate, “kind and nice”.
We are too eager to speak without reservation and too ready to accept condemnation from others without reflection.


I should have asked Nelson, “don’t you think sandals go better with shorts or striped shirts better with plain trousers?”.

As a matter of fact, I should have resisted the urge to “shalaye” because of my snobby fashion sense and I may have been wrong. What do I know about fashion?

Mark should have said he felt I didn’t care about his welfare when we spoke a few days ago. He should have told me he was sick and I didn’t care to check up on him. Cynthia should have said, “I once thought you were selfish but I don’t think so anymore; perhaps, it’s because I understand you better now or I got close enough to know you better“.


Whose report do you believe?

ChyD
(C) 2020

Modesty

Modesty could be called humility because by definition modesty is holding to an unassuming or moderate belief in the estimation of one’s own abilities or achievements; thereby trusting in God’s grace.

It is also showing moderation in one’s own behavior like being free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions. Appearance and actions reflect the life we live. We present ourselves to the world based on our self-perception and aspirations. To be modest is to consider what our clothing and behavior represent and how they influence those around us.

“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

Modesty is the outward expression of inner purity.


 “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”

1 Timothy 2:9-10

 Although all people of all ages should be clothed with humility toward one another, knowledge of who we are in Christ is crucial to a life of biblical modesty.

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4:1-3

Modesty certainly includes gentleness, patience, bearing with one another, and having a spirit of unity and living in peace among others. This modest type of behavior pleases God and it also makes others see Christ living in us and may cause others to look to the Savior.

The Niel
(c) 2019

Express

All about love
All about you
Or I am but you
Slave to my lust
Saved by your words

All about beauty
Nature is unity
With you, in purity
Curse to my head
The force is my red❣

All about peace
In you I see
I will write a piece
To the world that hates
So from our love it can taste

It can taste affection
And see it’s perfection
With the right perception
It can be shaped into love
Although seeming round and rough

Adethatwrites
©2019

Teen-Page

This book, not like conventional books Begins on PAGE 13
Tales of time to decide what life would mean
These pages chronicle more than stages
They tell of a journey every human must take

PAGE 14 goes on nicely
Realities are made and fantasies are destroyed
Some stories told in childhood seem not true and helpful for the journey ahead

Listening and perception engages the mind
Principles are laid and habits gained
Responsibilities birth abilities never thought of
What beauty inked on PAGE 15

PAGE 16, just like any other page, is a transition, a shift
Moods swing to and fro
And the rhythm of perfection is heard along

When difficulty is served
The right tool (character) is used to deal with 17
As the drums of fear are beaten
Those who can oppose it do
Those who can’t sit back

Teenage years is like a learning platform
Although not Udemy, it teaches a lot
Prepares you for adulthood and maturity
Passing or failing will not make you a certified teen
But reading each page would
No one ever said PAGE 18 is the peak in life
Other pages do exist but it’s only a beginning of a new book

© 2019
@adethatwrites