A list of Nigerian memories

The stainless steel plate making clang when we tried steal a little protein
Akpi called it derearang when I take a step in what they bought me

Only pros score with Felele ball
Monkey post? Eat a Health Ball shot
Cyril Stober, news at 9 o’clock
NTA vs. Cartoon Network

African Independent Television
Wale Adenuga Production
Papa Ajasco and Company
Fuji House, even more funny
Super Story for the family
Toyin Tomato, King of Boys indeed

Diego Paloma is Cuando Seas Mia
And one Water cane touch your back with the fear
Clean the Lantern, put the candle on metal
Ugo C. Ugo, that’s one book that went viral

Add Quantitative Reasoning
Also add Verbal Reasoning
Don’t forget JAMB lesson
Sunday Rice and sleeping

Party Jollof, and sleeping in church
Sega and it’s Gun,
Nintendo 64
Police and Thief, or those rubber rings

Mama and Papa, that dangerous game
Except when it’s kids playing with sand or the rain
In my school, the driver was Father Christmas
Still lined up for some pictures
Western rubbish
Hold on lemme finish

Sandals or Curtina
Kito, and bags of leather
Oversize clothes, cause we got those
From OK or an elder

Five naira 20naira Biscuits
Tell the Aboki, I want stick sweet
We couldn’t finish Okpa 20 naira
35cl Fanta was 25 naira
And when they released 60cl
Fido had to fight with Mountain Dew

V-boots versus the great Peugeots
BMWs and Audi hums
Datsuns before the Volvo roars
Can you pronounce ‘Volkswagen’, boy?

Tina Mba and Everyday People
Gimme Osuofia, Adieu Mr. Ibu
Stella Damasus and Regina Askia
Saint Obi must be proud of Odumodu

Watching Masquerade with my Goody Goody
Don’t get me started on anything Disney
Nowadays no local or agric
All the fowls simply taste expensive
Pussycat Pussycat, where are you going?

Small circle Small circle, Big Circle…
6×6, 6×6, 36
Which of you knows your Times Tables
Where you flogged on Assembly Ground

Nigeria is 64 now
The culture is G and purrr now
Arise oh Compatriots
Even that one is gone now

– Godzniel
(c) 2024

God’s Nigeria

Hello Friends!

How are we doing?

If you’re Nigerian here, what a nerve-wracking election weekend it has been ehh? Now in the midst of that, we found ways to express our faith and our hope for a new Nigeria using our art. The title of that Freestyle predictably was God’s Nigeria, and boy did that sum up all our prayers.I’m going to walk you through that freestyle journey, and I hope you are as blessed as we are. My name is Miracle, and it is my honor to serve you today.

Tolu opened the floor at 02:09pm WAT with this beautiful piece;

God’s Nigeria, land of diversity,
Where cultures and tribes converge with clarity,
A land of beauty and endless possibility, With a history that spans through infinity.

From the green savannah to the sandy shores,
To the bustling cities and peaceful moors, Nigeria is a place where hope soars,
And the people’s spirit forever roars.

In the north, the sun sets behind hills,
The east with its flowing streams and rills, The west, where the ocean breeze thrills, And in the south, the rainforest spills.

From the Hausa to the Igbo and Yoruba, And countless other tribes that form a hub, Nigeria is a place where love is above,
And everyone shares in God’s eternal love.

Amidst challenges and trials that often test,
Nigeria remains a country that’s truly blessed,
For God’s hand of grace continually rests,
And the people’s faith in Him forever invests.

So let us all come together and sing,
Of God’s Nigeria, where hope takes wing,
And let our praises to Him forever ring,
For in Him, we find our strength and everything.

And then Oluwafemi wrote this apt, and succinct chaser at 03:52pm WAT;

ELECTIONS

elections are coming
booths are opening
vote buying are ongoing
fake promises are fulfilling

but God’s Nigeria:

 miracle shall happen
 if we vote obediently
 not our bellies…

Our freestyle host, the multi-talented Niel Quchi followed that with an anthem of sorts by 05:48pm WAT;

God’s Naija’s got airports like malls
Shallow streams but plenty platforms
Sons hear ‘PVC’ and return
Borders bothered by no neighbors
Rich christians obey the Bro Code
Less ‘I will’s and more ‘Its all done’

The civil servants earning civilly
Marriages lacking see-finish
God’s town and the black Atlantis
So so, biko quench dem parties

And then ChyD, beautiful, talented, poised, and gracious sent in this satirical piece at 06:18pm WAT;

I go hospital for Pap smear and the doctor begin yarn me on HPV. When e reach my turn to ask questions I come dey call am PVC. I tell the doctor say na slip of tongue but I get good reason. Because the blood wey spill on 20th October thick like pap and smeared our hopes and dreams. But that one dey, because our hopes don renew.

She took a breather, but it seemed she was not done yet, because these followed at 07:54pm;

We are at the verge of entering the promise land. What is 10kg of labeled rice when we can have milk and honey?

Oh you are lactose intolerant?
Say no more. We have eba.
Too polished for eba? We have intercontinental dishes.
Mention it. In the lord’s reign, there is fullness and abundance

3 Peter 1:1
And behold, Peter left the bountiful land of lawlessness and established himself in an unknown land where he labored. The lord saw his heart and blessed him with the love of the people.

And with this we came to the end of our freestyle Friday for 24th February, 2023. I hope this blessed you, thank you for sticking with me through this again. If you’re still reading, please take a couple minutes to pray for Nigeria.

Bless up!

Authors:

Niel Quchi

Tolu (The Alchemist)

ChyD

Oluwafemi

JUDGEMENT AND PERCEPTION

It’s very easy to feel like you’re better than the next person. Maybe because comparing lets you know how well you are doing and soothes your
conscience. It’s natural to judge a matter, and formulate assumptions to why that lady is begging on the road…

beside triplet children

Or why that man is living with that lady. Like coming to fast possible conclusions about everything we see, somehow makes us smart,
experienced, conscious people.

But the truth?
There could be many reasons why something is happening the way it is. Our judgements of personalities and actions could be wrong, and very wrong. Many times, they are half-baked because of what we think we know;
like thinking that every young man in his 30’s living with his parents is lazy,
every lady who hasn’t received her healing “doesn’t have enough faith.”

Like thinking that this guy is so deceived, he still believes he should welcome the Holy Spirit.
Like thinking that wearing jeans or ripped jeans is the most irresponsible wear on earth, for only sons of the devil.
Like thinking we could have done better if we were in a fellow’s shoes.

WRONG!

We may not fail in the area we so judge, but we fail, because we are frail.

Sometimes, we judge because we haven’t been in similar situations. Who even gives us this standard to judge? To condemn?
Jesus said, “…if any of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone.

Because we are lost in our own ways, assuming that for one reason or the other, we are in a better position to condemn another, we are more effectively breaking souls than healing them. Those eyes burning with judgement, warning of a terrible future, and hell.

Yet, we profess Christ.

We say we are born of love, and yet we say people are beyond help.
We feel that some persons are not to be seen with us.
Our Lord wasn’t ashamed to be seen with “sinners.”
Our Lord sat and ate with sinners.
Our Lord spoke compassionately with sinners, they dared to ask, “You seem to be a prophet.”
No threats of brimstone from our Lord.
No judgements from our Lord, except towards hypocrites who concentrated on appearances.
No casting away from our Lord who asks that all come as they are.

Our Lord Jesus Christ who laid his life down for not just my neighbour in sin, but for me too,
who was undeserving.

My Lord teaches me to love.
My Lord teaches me to love without reason.
My Lord teaches me to look beyond appearances and laws.
My Lord teaches me to place compassion over judgement.
My Lord teaches me to bear my brother’s burden, and to do so in meekness, because I…

I am not beyond temptation.

I have the nature of God, and I consciously choose love and compassion over judgement, perception, and inaccurate conclusions.

– Buzhoo
(c) 2020

“Stay hydrated”

“Drink water and mind your business”
The beautiful river of my motherland
Now seems like a wasteland of hopelessness
My business, now more popular than bitcoin

I’m sorry if these waters taste like disappointment
But I won’t apologise for wanting more
I’ve been called worse than Oliver Twist
I’ve had five men in my bed, yes
I own my past, so stop slut shaming

I’ve had five men in my bed,
They all left with a piece of me
Now I live with Shame, our relationship is complicated
At least he’s better than Lust with his flowery words
Who took my innocence and a piece of my heart

Lust was better than Anger,
He sent my family packing
Anger was better than Desperation,
He stripped me of my sanity
Desperation sent me into the arms of Worthlessness

But we just didn’t last
I’d rather not talk about Self Deprecation
As pretentious as anyone with two first names
So I’m sorry the rivers of my motherland
Do not seem to be enough

I was content in my discontentment
Till I met him
As comely as the dew of the morning
His face bright as the sun
And his eyes stripped me of all my layers

When he spoke to me, I felt beautiful
He gave me water from the wells of His being
Then He asked me to bring Shame
And everyone else who’d made my business theirs
So I ran into town screaming

“Drink! Drink!! For out of my belly now flows, rivers of living water!!!”

Miracle Ifechukwu
(c) 2020

Shadow And Night


The evil one
May boast of his allies
The Shadow and the dead Night
And its weak slave,  death. 

But, oh! how I laugh at his insanity
For maybe he has forgotten
Whose son and blood I belong to
I am a child of the Almighty.
An heir of the living I Am THAT I Am.

Satan, no matter the thickness
Of your darkness and your pretentious fortress, 
The flamming fire of God
In me, will pierce and burn
Your heart, your bones and eyes
Like the sharpest blade of all the Angels. 

We, the children of God
The sons like Jesus Christ
Are never afraid of your dirge and phantoms and fears and illness
“For “He” who is in us is greater than ‘he’ in this little world. “

– Ugwu David C. 
(c) 2020