SUICIDE

I’ve written lots of things and deleted it,
I’m short of letters, talkless about words,
I’ve crumpled the pages of my notebooks,
written lots of doodles, smile at one minute,
And then cry at the next,
But now I’m just typing,

I smile at things that make me happy,
I frown at uncertainties,
Should I? Shouldn’t I? Can I? What if?
Questions…….
Afraid to take a decisive step,
I sit and sit,
Becoming a smiling mannequin,
For all and sundry,

I strive to make everyone smile,
All the time,
At the expense of my piece of mind,
Hey you, Be this……….
You there, Be that…….
Come on, I think you’re better this way……
On and on, they say,
Till my world spirals and gets sucked up in “voices”,

“Voices”,
Till I became dead to the VOICE,
Seriously, I can’t even hear HIM no more,
I’m at the end of the rope,
Teetering on the brink of sanity,
Toying with, no, relishing the thought of going over the edge,
Falling down, down, down and down,
Smiling at the very thought of it,
Dying,

Dying??
Why?
For whom?
To what end?
To punish who?
The voice said.
Myself, I reply.
Myself, for being a fool.
For hating myself.
For being a piece of dead leaf
Being tossed to and fro by the tumultuous wave.
For not loving myself., I answered,

And then what next, He asked?
That, I don’t have the answer to,
I’d be dead already,
Okay, you worthless piece,
Since that’s how you see yourself,
That’s what I’ll call you,
You were not put in the world to just breathe in its air,
Drink is water, eat it’s food, enjoy its holidays,
Spend its monies, and just give up like that,

You exist, you don’t just live,
Love yourself, not just others,
Don’t exchange peace of mind with piece of friends,
It ain’t worth it,
You are worth more,
Ah! So much more than rubies,
So much more than money,
Because of just one thing,
I love you!
So, get down from that cliff,
Sit down, breathe 3,2,1, there you are!
Stand up, dust your shoes,
The world is waiting for you!

Emenike Chinwendu

© 2018

EverydayJesus’ loving-thing tips!

  1. All of us humans need love; smile to the grumpiest old pregnant pit-bull in a human body-sincerely, and he or she would smile back sincerely, even if he or she had lost the gene that codes for smiling for the past 20 centuries. Just try it!
  2. Everyone needs to be heard out especially when we all know that there is a major misunderstanding. So, make up your mind to stop making your point until you are sure that you have gotten your brother’s points in black and white!
  3. If you think that you are such an old idiot, just go get yourself some good ice cream but make sure you don’t go to bed at night without understanding where exactly you missed it because you might need the knowledge some day!
  4. If you are so angry, just shut up because you really are not that angry, trust me!
  5. But if you are having a problem getting this tips, just go and get some Jesus’ Loving-thing parcel, that would be the best point to start from in this loving-thing that we are doing.

Nevertheless, I want you to know that God is not mad at you, because it would be an injustice to you if He does. God is Just!

Thanks

P.S. if you have no idea how to pick the loving-thing parcel, just holla me at favyaura@gmail.com.

 

Favour Omeje