Questions

You think you need something
you get it
And then you need another thing again
It goes on and on
Like a black spiral
You can’t stop
You are insatiable
You gorge, inhale, gather till your barns are overflowing
You stand, and look, and smile, with a satisfied air of pride
You acquire all your heart can think of
And then
Then…
Then….
You feel empty again.
Your barn’s full on the outside,
But you are empty on the inside
You grope and grope
You catch nothing
You surround yourself with people
Addictions, achievements, to feel something
But
You feel even emptier
Like a far stretched desert land
Why Man, oh Why???
What’s the purpose of gathering
When it does not fill that void, that deep, dark void
WHY????

EMENIKE CHINWENDU VICTORIA
© 2019

The Most beautiful Girl- Part 2

Years pass and she remains a sister to me
A perfect relationship divorce can’t sever
There is no ‘more‘ to want
Her love is complete and I am satisfied
Until the 99th night she passed at my house
She wakes at midnight to find my fingers on her breast
With a push from her I land on the floor
On getting up I see the hurt and unbelief in her eyes as tears roll down her cheeks
There is no explanation to her or myself of my actions
No words are exchanged
The wait for dawn is like waiting for Jesus’ second coming
I curl on the floor while she clutches herself tightly on the bed with occasional sniffs
I die a thousand death in a thousand ways, all by suicide
She leaves as morning comes
Apologies are meant for explainable crimes, not inconceivable ones
This crime should not be apologized for nor forgiven
A lot of water pass under the bridge and today I cry;
I cry because she visits last week and wraps me in a hug
We go for walks and she leans on me like old times
Like I didn’t abuse her
She has a golden heart but the most I expect are patches;
A hand sewn cloth thread with caution
She disappoints me with total abandonment and oblivion of the past
I cry for I don’t deserve her yet I have her
Her name is Grace

ChyD
© 2019

Void

You think you need something
you get it
And then you need another thing again
It goes on and on
Like a black spiral
You can’t stop
You are insatiable
You gorge, inhale, gather till your barns are overflowing
You stand, and look, and smile, with a satisfied air of pride
You acquire all your heart can think of
And then
Then….
Then…..
You feel empty again.
Your barn’s full on the outside,
But you are empty on the inside
You grope and grope
You catch nothing
You surround yourself with people
Addictions, achievements, to feel something
But
You feel even emptier
Like a far stretched desert land
Why Man, oh Why???
What’s the purpose of gathering
When it does not fill that void, that deep, dark void
WHY????

EMENIKE CHINWENDU
© 2019

Barren Mother

I have an empty well of a belly.
My womb has known nothing but dying blood all my living years.
I have thought of no one but myself,
Fed no one but myself,
Placed no one before myself,
How do I have a womb except it was made to bear another, and yet
I have no idea what it means to pour a part of myself into another.
“A breast feeding mother?”
That’s a foreign name to me.
“A bread winning father?”
Who dares call me?
I am my own hero,
My own salt,
My own light in a shady place,
Come with me and I’ll lead you into the darkness.
I’d snuff the life out of my light because I do not want to share it.
I’m an evil already happening,
A menace waiting to be uncovered.
My tactics are new everyday
Yet my mind is old.
I am a dirty, dirty soul with a clogged up heart and a rigid body.

This is why I have come before the Rock of Ages,
Before The fire that purifies without consuming to ashes.
My tears produce more salt now than I have ever thought to produce.
I do not know when I ever took lessons from the ocean
But my ill will like waves come crushing over me.
I am caught up in my own dirt web,
Spun in my own fear.
I have come to you as a barren womb in need for a child.
I was born to be mother, now may I know a child?
I have come as a fruitless tree in its season.
As hungry fire,
I’m desperate.
As a docile branch,
I submit.
I accept defeat.
Let your rains fall on this arid land again, Lord.
I admit nothing was ever my own;
As I am left with nothing now I am reminded where I come from.
Give me one child, Yahweh ‘tis All I ask.
Surprise the quick-to-conclude with Your quick-to-deliver.
Let them know when their calling-me-barren tongues call me mother,
Let them know from every side of the flipping coin earth,
That You make the Barren Mother.

Adaobi Chiemelu
(c) 2018

Why?

You think you need something,
you get it,
And then you need another thing again,
It goes on and on,
Like a black spiral,
You can’t stop,
You are insatiable,
You gorge, inhale, gather till your barns are overflowing,
You stand, and look, and smile, with a satisfied air of pride,
You acquire all your heart can think of,
And then,
Then….
Then…..
You feel empty again,
Your barn’s full on the outside,
But you are empty on the inside,
You grope and grope,
You catch nothing,
You surround yourself with people,
Addictions, achievements, to feel something,
But
You feel even emptier,
Like a far 3 desert land,
Why Man, oh Why???
What’s the purpose of gathering,
When it does not fill that void, that deep, dark void,
WHY????

EMENIKE CHINWENDU
© 2018