Tag: Holy Spirit

What are you seeking?

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When I was much younger, my mom shared a brilliant analogy with me and my siblings. She said God is like an ocean; if you came to Him with a cup, you would get a cup full. If you came to him with a massive drum, you would get a drum full. If you came with a water truck, as huge as it is, you would still get it filled. The point is, that you get what you ask for. In essence, when we are dissatisfied with our results, an excellent place to review would be what we are asking for. Many times, our expectations are truck-sized, but we approach God with cups and wonder why we never feel satisfied. The ocean is clearly sufficient to fill any vessel, yet every person gets the amount of water they make space for, regardless of their intention.

Many times, our expectations are truck-sized, but we approach God with cups and wonder why we never feel satisfied.

An iconic part of Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount reads thus:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NKJV)

In reading this, it is easy to focus on the instruction rather than the implication of the promise. Especially in the 8th verse, Jesus makes a definitive statement that when we do our part, we are guaranteed an answer: The one who asks will receive, the one who seeks will find, and the one who knocks will be opened unto. In a sense, Jesus is saying that in cases where your results don’t satisfy, God is not the person to look at. You should review what you are asking for.

In the following verses, Jesus challenged his audience, asking if they were better fathers than God. His argument was, “If you would not give your children what they did not request, why do you think God will operate like that?” This is also the main proposition of this article: with God, when we ask, seek, and knock, we will receive, find, and be opened to, but we can remain unsatisfied with the result if the request is not right.

Among the three actions Jesus listed – ask, seek, and knock – I find seeking to be the easiest way to make this point, so for this article, I will place a specific emphasis on seeking even though it applies to all three. Jesus promises us that whatever we seek, we will find. Therefore, more often than not, our dissatisfaction comes from what we find. The flipside of Jesus’ promise is that you won’t find what you are not seeking. Essentially, our only hope of finding the right thing is to make sure that we are seeking the right thing. We must critique our seeking to ensure we find the things that are truly valuable to us.

Seeking in Nigerian colloquial English is “looking for something”. This establishes that the act comes loaded with two presumptions: there is an absence of something, and that thing has a value that necessitates the search. Therefore, to truly ascertain that we are seeking the right thing, we should define what we lack and the value that is inherent in the thing sought. For example, if I am seeking food, the presumptions that validate my endeavour are that I am hungry and, secondly, that the food I am after can satisfy my hunger. If I were seeking diamonds when dealing with a hunger problem, I would be setting myself up for gross disappointment.

Essentially, our only hope of finding the right thing is to make sure that we are seeking the right thing. We must critique our seeking to ensure we find the things that are truly valuable to us.

These two presumptions further establish how we can establish what we are seeking. This is necessary because oftentimes we claim to be seeking things that we are clearly not going after, and then we are genuinely shocked at what we find. To avoid this happening to you, make sure to use these presumptions to judge yourself. The first thing to ask is, “What do I lack?” The answer might seem too obvious and overwhelming, as human wants are insatiable; therefore, human lack is constant.

Our limited nature places us in a perpetual state of lack, but we do not seek after everything we lack. The second factor of seeking – value that necessitates the search – helps reveal where we invest our limited efforts. Anything that is valuable enough to make you move defines what you are seeking. Simply put, your lack may be evident and varied, but the things that you value are what eventually lead you into the adventure of seeking.

Many Christians can testify that their search for Jesus started because there was a significant lack in their lives. Many have come to the foot of the cross because of a lack of good health, peace of mind, prosperity, answers, and identity, among other needs. Fortunately, like the woman with an issue of blood in Luke 8:43–48, after trying everything else, we end up trying Jesus.

So, we identify our lack and cast our eyes on the capacity of Jesus, so we go seeking. Just like that woman, many have testified that what they could not get anywhere else, they found in Jesus. These types of stories usually bring tears of joy to our eyes and put big smiles on our faces. The problem with this is that oftentimes, the lack remains in some other part of their lives, or in some cases, some people actually don’t get what they want, and that can be hard to make sense of. Ideally, this should raise an important query:

Is Jesus incapable of meeting our needs, or are we seeking Jesus for something less than what He promises?

When we look at our anchor scripture from the gospel of Luke, it reads thus:

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened. If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
Luke 11:9–13 (NKJV)

In Luke’s account, we see that when Jesus was talking about how we can get anything from God the Father, He directly stated that the good thing we should seek from God is the Holy Spirit. This implies that while God would give us many things, His greatest desire is for us to have the Holy Spirit. The emphasis placed on the Holy Spirit can be understood by looking at the following scriptures:

“But he who is joined to the Lord is one Spirit with Him.”
1 Corinthians 6:17 (NKJV)

“For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so, no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.”
1 Corinthians 2:11–12 (NKJV)

These verses make a very important claim: to have the Spirit of God is to share a level of intimacy with God that is unattainable by any other means. It is to know God intimately and, consequently, to be known by God. Hence, in Luke, Jesus was essentially saying the best thing you can ask from God is to share His Spirit, to be intimate with Him, to know Him, and to be known by Him.

Everyone who comes into the Christian Faith should essentially be seeking this relationship of spiritual oneness with God, galvanised through the person and sacrifice of Jesus.

You see, at the very core of what Christianity is, we find a relationship between the Creator and His creation. This relationship (and all its sides) is essentially the focus of the Bible. By the standards we have previously set, we can make the claim that Christianity is focused on this relationship because man’s greatest lack is a relationship with His Creator, and the only possible way of getting that back is through Jesus. During His time on earth, Jesus repeatedly uttered the command, “Follow Me”. We can see that He does this because He knows man’s greatest need is not for the things we are focused on; rather, it is Him, a physical representative of the Godhead, that should be sought after. He presents Himself as what is lacking in this world (John 8:12) and as valuable enough to lose everything else in a bid to seek (Luke 9:23).


Therefore, everyone who comes into the Christian Faith should essentially be seeking this relationship of spiritual oneness with God, galvanised through the person and sacrifice of Jesus. This implies that a Christian is a person who recognises the lack of God in their life and seeks Jesus as a worthy answer to satisfy that lack. The seeker considers a relationship with God to be of infinite value but also recognises that that relationship is only possible through the sacrifice of Jesus and expressed through living like Jesus. So, the seeker maintains an intentional desire to know Jesus and live like Him. This does not mean the one who seeks Jesus does not have normal human needs; it just means his priority places the knowledge of Jesus as foremost and of utmost worth.

It is important to note that the depth of need and/or the value of what is sought after can be discerned by paying close attention to how the seeker goes about seeking. The intensity, care, and support required to find something can tell a lot about what is being sought after and the value that it holds. For Christians, this is so true because the way we seek shows whether we understand the value of what we are seeking or if we are even seeking the right things. The seeker who prioritises their relationship with God understands two things: it requires the help of the Holy Spirit, and it is not a quick fix. This should help you understand that your seeking as a Christian may be flawed if you think it can be entirely achieved in your strength and/or if your fulfilment can be achieved with one quick fix.

This truth can be derived from Jesus’ iconic command, “Follow me”. The first word implies that this is not quick. In fact, it suggests a walk without an end because the one who follows just keeps on moving until the other stops. The second word in the command is “me.” This squarely places the responsibility for how things go on Jesus’ shoulders. Simply put, Jesus tells us that seeking Him is a long process that He alone can sponsor. The one who seeks Jesus settles in for the long ride and has no trust in human effort. This is where the Holy Spirit mentioned in Luke comes in. Jesus admonishes us to desire the Holy Spirit, as He holds the power to sponsor our seeking.

The seeker who prioritises their relationship with God understands two things: it requires the help of the Holy Spirit, and it is not a quick fix.

“These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”
John 14:25–26 (NKJV)

Therefore, seeking Jesus looks a lot like depending on the Holy Spirit. In practical terms, it is an incessant desire to know Jesus and a complete dependence on the Holy Spirit to have that desire fulfilled. So, the seeker engages in Bible Study but does so with a desire to know Jesus and prays earnestly for the Holy Spirit to facilitate that process. The seeker prays as a means of building and enjoying a relationship with God, but completely trusts the Holy Spirit to empower that process.

With this established, our seeking enterprise is only fully maximised when we set our sights on Jesus and completely depend on the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, this is not a given among Christians. Just like in the days when Jesus was on earth, many seek after what He can do for them rather than who He is and the power He desires to give us. These Christians have a hard time making sense of their lives because they are standing in front of an ocean and have only cups of experience to show for it.

Jesus answered them and said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. Do not labour for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him.”
John 6:26–27 (NKJV)

To seek Jesus for anything less than Him through the Holy Spirit, which is the seal of our salvation, is to cut yourself short of an infinite blessing. In Philippians 3, Paul declared with ultimate certainty that there is nothing we need more and nothing more worthy of our time than knowing Jesus. You might temporarily meet your immediate needs by asking God for one thing or another, but if you are seeking just that, you will eventually be frustrated. It has to be Jesus we seek. Gratefully, Jesus has already promised us that He is not far from us, and if we can set our minds to seek Him, He will surely be found. So if you feel like you have not sought him truly, there is still hope for you. Like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11–24, you can turn around now and seek the right thing, or, better put, the right one.

Therefore, when we orient ourselves to seek Him not for what He can do but for Himself, we open the door of our hearts to divine intimacy.

To conclude, I want to show you an endearing picture from the last book of the Bible:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”
Revelations 3:20 (NKJV)

Throughout this article, the rhetoric has been that we are seeking after God. In certain applications, this works, but I think it is beautiful that the Bible clearly establishes that we are not seeking a passive God who grants us access to do a good job. Rather, our Father seeks us as intensely as He admonishes us to seek Him. He comes into our lives not seeking what we can do for Him but for the fullness of who we are. Therefore, when we orient ourselves to seek Him not for what He can do but for Himself, we open the door of our hearts to divine intimacy. There are not enough words in the world to describe the beauty of that intimacy. It is so rapturous that men died for it, and God gave His Son, Jesus, for it. If you seek it, if you seek after Him, you will not be disappointed.

EZEONYEKA GODSWILL

God’s Positivity

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Hello Friends!

How are we doing? I hope the month of love has met you well?

First off, I want to use this opportunity to remind you whose you are, and whose love has saved you. You were worth dying for, if you have nothing else to celebrate today, celebrate this truth.

Now without further ado, I’d like to take you on another Freestyle Friday journey. My name is Miracle, and as always privilege to serve you today.

Our last Freestyle Friday took place on the 10th of February, 2023, and our host was the talented Niel Quchi. It’s theme? God’s Positivity.

Ebubechi opened the floor at about 12:06pm with this absolutely vibrant and uplifting piece;

God is positivity personified
Ask mother nature and she would you
Tell the man saw null and void
But he called forth shape to
Take the full space.

Full of glory and power
His spirit hovered on
The surface of the deep
He took a leap of faith
Then screamed let
There be light.

God’s not a mediocre
That’s why the igbo’s
Call him AKA’NEMEMMA
Yes his the hand that
Beautifies.

His words are fireful
Swift to execute
If you haven’t seen
Nothing go back to
Genesis and from
There grab the REVELATION
Of what was said and

He looked at all he has
Made and confirmed they
Were good.

For all he made
He has made for his own
Pleasure
God is positivity personified
Ask mother nature and
She would you tell the
Man NO DEY FEAR!!!!

And who is he that the sea and storms
Obey?

At a single command he called forth things that were not and they
Came to be

Hold thou forth O mighty comrade!!!
For thy God is FEARLESS
He didn’t need to take a gulp of FEARLESS though that’s why the Igbo’s call him Odum’egbojudah
Yes he’s the lion of
Judah’s tribe

God is positivity personified ask mother nature and she would you tell he’s everything.

Now if you’ve taken a little tour of your own around here, you wouldn’t be a stranger to Ebube’s words, and boy do they always pack a punch?!

Next up we had the Uc Truth one of our OG’s spewing truth as always;

God is positive

I love it when atheists boast

When their spec of an opinion is viewed through error prescribed glasses to magnify its importance in existence.

So there is no God because you said it?

I guess Mark will seize to exist if the blue app could raise a voice too

John taught us of life
And it is way more than being able to breathe in
So all your “strike me down if you really are God” doesn’t even move the great I Am
He’s busy listening to hymns sung in Glee from hearts of strings struck in awe of Messiah.
The ability to wash sin forever.

You are yam with skin that could be peeled any time if he pleased

So to think that any time you have here is long enough to spite enough to damage a lot from the one who literally would have to strip himself of all he is in order to stoop low enough to exist in time, is foolish

Solomon caught a glimpse and you know what he said I’m sure you recite it in your circles.

Your lack of faith doesn’t equal a lack of Him
That’s bad math
Sponsored by meth
You probably thought you could deal yourself drug enough to test positive to sense
But all you can muster is another paper lit
moss is growing on you
And if you keep rolling like this you’ll end up in an eternity
Where the joke is on you

For as long as you walk this Earth through a design he perfected, birth.
The litmus stayed purple
So regardless of your negativity
Your every wake is God’s positivity
He’s passing the test of love with every gravity that keeps you from floating
You can keep boasting
Just remember,
His Exist-positive is you.

Phew! Talk about words packing a punch.
Then we had our brilliant Tolu (The Alchemist) come with a beautiful addition;

God’s positivity shines like the sun,
Brighter and warmer than anything.
A light that dispels all fear and sorrow,
And brings hope to our suffering.


In every moment, both great and small,
His love and kindness do abound.
For He is the source of all goodness,
And His mercy knows no bounds.

His positivity spreads like wildfire,
Igniting hearts and lifting souls.
For when we bask in its warm glo,
All negativity takes flight and goes.

In God’s positivity we find peace,
And the strength to face each day.
For He walks beside us every step,
And guides us all the way.

So let us bask in God’s light always,
And bask in its radiant gleam.
For with each step we take towards it,
We find positivity’s fulfilling dream.

And then we had Niel at 02:26pm WAT with this piece;

All things are possible
And all the things that we imagine might all be true
It still don’t make the Word less by a decimal
So spread the word from Ukraine to Senegal

I love to meet the agnostics and the shrugs they give,
Atheists bore me, their stance is sehr lazy
Satan makes suggestions both to them and me
But I dey follow Holy Spirit like vis-a-vis
I belittle no opinions in all topics
I just saw a kid tiktok Christ boldly
God must have known it was meant to be
But to trust another Adam? Positivity!

It’s giving Encore! And a couple people did ask, so Niel obliged us with this beautiful chaser;

God’s faith is a very good example
Understanding how he hopes has got me storm-bending
To trust in beings so stupid and simple
If God wasn’t positive, man would be in trouble

One man came across worlds
Stepped down from the Lord God
Two humans in the midst of
Was it duty or just love?

Family Three took a new turn
Four groups praise the new born
Five loaves later and a couple of fishes
Life in abundance is what he six to establish
Seven man to save him, love will slowly win the rubbish

We eight the bread of life, and it’s fruity when I do shit
Nein, Ich bin zufrieden und glücklich
Joy of the Lord, and my one is quite the strong 10
No dey do me strong thing

If no be God, all the numbers for dey miss calls
Abba answers from inside me like an echo

Phew! And with that we come to the end of this Freestyle Friday Recap. Thank you so much for doing this with me. Don’t forget to show love to someone random today. Be the light you want to see!

Bless up!

Authors

Ebubechi

Uc Truth

Tolu (The Alchemist)

Niel Quchi

WriteAlive Marathon

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Hey you!
Yes, you.

Have you heard of the WriteAlive Marathon writing sessions?

Well, they are 3-to-4-hour virtual writing sessions held by our Captain Ezeonyeka Godswill several times every month on the Zoom platform, where we leverage the advantage of the Holy Spirit as Christian creatives and just write. If that sounds ambiguous to you, it basically means that this exercise is built on the premise of inspiration not being a moving target or an august visitor who comes at will giving you the ability to create extraordinary work only once in a while, the Holy Spirit is THE source of inspiration, and He lives inside of us. So in these sessions, we draw from within to pour onto the page!

It’s fun, structured and very productive, and what it has done is eliminate the two most common excuses writers give for not writing; no time, and Writer’s block.

Here’s a look at the structure:

Prayer – 10 minutes
Writing burst 1 – 30 minutes
Teaching & Conversation – approx. 10-15 minutes
Prayer – 10 minutes
Writing burst 2 – 50 minutes
Break – 10 minutes
Prayer – 10 minutes
Writing burst 3 – 40 minutes
Round up and Debrief – 5 minutes
Prayer – 10 minutes

And the link: www.bit.ly/writealivemarathon

So really now, what’s your excuse?

Bless up!

FRUIT DIAGNOSIS: For the 21st Century Church

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Disclaimer: I am not writing this because I fully understand it, but I am compelled by this thought and I hope this essay serves as an invitation to the thinking table.

I like to believe that as we grow in the Christian faith, we are constantly learning. This means we are constantly coming in contact with truth. However, I have found that sometimes, things that struck me as profound still hold that essence even as I learn other new things.

This might be true for just my experience, but it is worthy of mention because it gives us a great rationale to kick-start this thought process. I cannot remember the exact time, but I cannot forget the power behind the truth of the difference between the gifts of the spirit and the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Simply, it goes that gifts of the Holy Spirit outlined in 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 are manifestations that are instant and sporadic in nature. Thus, the main difference they have with the fruits of the Holy Spirit outlined in Galatians 5:22-23 is that fruits are products of growth and they are consistent in nature.

This difference might seem simple enough, but it has evolved so much in my mind over the years. One thing that has been a hard pill to swallow is what Jesus said about fruits;

You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruits you will know them.

Matthew 7:16-20 (NKJV)

I called this a fruit diagnosis.

If you are following this first point, I am sure you can put together that the fruits of the Holy Spirit are in effect of more consequence to the believer because they prove the presence of the Holy Spirit. This applies to many other things in life, and I find that this form of diagnosis is not as novel as I would like to present it.

In hospitals, symptoms are sought out as proof of an ailment or healing, we make sweeping comments about situations and people based on the results they produce and rightfully so. This is because fruits do not exist in a vacuum. If there is smoke, it is proof of fire. If there is a fruit it is proof of work, time, and a seed.

With this in mind, we can move a step further and ask; is there any sense in treating some fruit? By this, I am asking if it makes sense to treat a symptom or put out smoke. The very thought of it seems out of place because we don’t do this for good reason. I believe the reason is that fruit is proof of something else in the background. Thus, if some fruit provides you a diagnosis of an ailment, your response should not be applied to the fruit but to the problem, it is in fact pointing you to.

If you want the smoke to stop, you put out the fire; if you want the symptoms to stop, you treat the sickness. If you want to fix the fruit, you need to go to its source.

I find that in the 21st century Church, we tend to do the exact opposite of this common-sense approach. We see a flaw in our neighbour, but we go ahead to hack at the flaw which is a fruit of something else and we never address the real issues. This has given birth to so many weird laws and doctrines.

These injunctions while made with good intention, are very much harmful in the long run because while they might seem to address the flaw, they lead to long-term hurt, and most importantly, they never solve the problem.

Paul had a little issue with this concept in his day,

Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations— “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

Colossians 2:20-23 (NKJV)

I would like to end here but permit me to do a bit of an over-emphasis. Going at people’s actions for the sake of the actions is either going to frustrate the person or imprison the person and it will not deal with the underlying issue. As a church, we need to come to terms with this and humbly undergo a re-orientation.

We must start looking to apply treatment where it matters most – the seed.

I believe that Jesus gave us a great example in doing this. In John 4:4-42 we see the account of the encounter of Jesus and the woman at the well. In their conversation, we learn very quickly that Jesus knew exactly who this woman was. He knew her wrongdoings and told her quite clearly that he did.

The thing that should strike us as odd is that for the rest of their conversation, Jesus never brings it up. In all of his instructions to her, he doesn’t ask her to leave her husband(s). He does something better; he addressed her heart’s questions and typically, transformation followed. It is noteworthy to mention that Jesus never shied away from correction, but it will do you much good to see the kind of instruction he gave. He never corrected actions for the sake of it; he always addressed an underlying mind-set or heart issue.

Thus, his instruction always pointed to solutions that would not only fix the fruit, but will heal the source.

I think we struggle to follow the perfect example of Jesus because seed instructions are not as dramatic or way too dramatic as fruit instructions. Even in a tree, cut off its bad fruit and everybody takes note but give it time and the faulty seed will produce yet another bad fruit. However, if the farmer addresses the root of the issue, it might demand taking down the entire tree or checking the seed before planting.

As a growing Christian, I have troubles with this drama imbalance too. I read the story of the rich young ruler and I can relate with the heaviness of heart in making such a dramatic change.

I also read the story of Naaman and I relate with the scorn that clearly said, “It can’t be that simple”.

I am however convinced that this is too important to give up on. So, I am writing this to other Christians in my century and beyond. We have to learn to leave the fruit and start looking at the seed.

I will end on this note. The further you go into seeking the source of a problem, the more you will find the nature of flesh and it can feel helpless because actions don’t change our nature; Paul told us that much.

However, remember what we said earlier about the fruits of the Holy Spirit? This is where they come in handy. The most important source to fix is the nature from which you are living. There are only two options: the flesh or the Holy Spirit.

If and when you decide to go with the Holy Spirit, you learn very quickly that it is His work that is done in you. Your role in all of it is to surrender to the work and believe that it is for your good.

In the end, if you stay in the process long enough, you will notice your fruit changing and you will take no credit for it because the fruit is proof that the Holy Spirit is at work in you.

EZEONYEKA GODSWILL

SPIRIT SCHOOL

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Swallow your pride, tonight, and come to the spirit school
There is a spirit in man, God’s breath gives it understanding
Mortal man, do not drown in ignorance, do not be a fool
If your intellect is tested by fire, can it remain standing?

Swallow your pride, come to the spirit school, tonight
Break free from the shackles of conformity to deception
Do not resuscitate the days of babel, and forsake the light
For the spirit of wisdom already forsook them at its conception.

Swallow your pride, come to the school of the spirit
Abandon to the whirlwinds your theories of existentialism
Let Yahweh give your foolishness a limit
Exfoliate the banality of all this your redundant idealism.

Swallow your pride, tonight, and come to the spirit school
Shed the tattered garment of human knowledge you cherish
Let the Holy Spirit; God’s Sceptre, make you a new tool
To save your brotherhood of brethren, before they perish.

– El Ebovel
(c) 2021

You exist not just because you were made

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You exist not just because you were made.
You existed in the mind of God long before the world was made.

An idea that sprang to life in the factory of your mother’s womb. Your life didn’t begin at the hospital or where else you were born. It began with God.

I mean, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. How huge is that!

A GIANT OF A MAN YOU ARE! So live from where you first existed.

You are a mind blowing idea from a mind blowing God!

Ijeoma Obi
© 2021

Letter to Ola #1

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Dear Olaedo,


In my previous letter, I asked you to evolve and leave behind things you have outgrown. Let me tell you about what I outgrew recently.


I constantly try to understand myself, why I do the things I do, and why I think the way I do which most times are different from how others think.


I read a story of a self-sufficient man. He wants just enough to feed himself and his family. He doesn’t care about being a global figure or being on the Forbes list. I guess we can call him a family enthusiast. He would rather spend every day at home with his family than leave them to make money he doesn’t need.


I’m not that man. I am a few years away from thirty and it worries me that I am not anything near the Forbes’ under 30 CEOs or any recognition close to that. I try though. I search for opportunities and utilize the ones I can. Ola, I want to make money, travel, live the good life, and above all, make an impact. I felt money is necessary for the kind of impact I want to make. But apart from the cliche of living an impactful life, I just like shiny things and luxury.


The way life ought to be was pretty obvious to me. I would get married of course. I love Love. I would have perhaps a kid or two because let us be honest, taking care of kids require time. My husband and I would build an empire because we are goal-driven and ambitious. And we’ll live happily ever after.


It turns out life doesn’t always go as planned and I was wrong about what life is all about. As you would expect, I am financially intelligent. I am shrewd in spending and I’ve learnt investment strategies so when I lost millions to a bad investment just a year after my NYSC, I had to start all over again. It was hard but not disastrous. I still had a job.


The disastrous event was my parents’ divorce. They loved each other or they seemed to be in love. After fifteen years of marriage, they split. It tore my idea of a perfect life. I was depressed and confused. I hated the feeling. It was easy to decide to see a shrink because I am a logical person and it seemed psychotherapy was what was going to fix my mind.


I read a post on Twitter that said ‘The Holy Spirit is my therapist’ and I scoffed. ‘As if I don’t pray too. The occupation is there for a reason’. Therapy is expensive but I hated feeling shitty so it passed for a good investment for my mental health. After one month of therapy, nothing changed. My therapist used phrases like ‘you religious people would say…’ and I had to sift his advice to see which isn’t deviant from my Christain faith.


I intentionally didn’t seek a Christain shrink because I didn’t want a religious person. The effect of a religious shrink is as bad as a secular shrink. One seeks to put you in bondage while the other seeks to make you use your freedom as an occasion to satisfy the flesh.


My friend said I hadn’t healed because I hadn’t prayed enough and I wondered what amount of prayer would be ‘enough’. I had prayed. I like a good challenge so I decided to pray ‘enough’. I never understood fasting as a means of receiving from God because I felt if God is my father, I could ask with faith and receive.

However, I decided to turn up fully gauged for this praying ‘enough’.


I started fasting without a stop date in mind. I planned to stop was whenever I got healed. I had exhausted all my options and the only option left was praying ‘enough’. I had nothing to live for and I wished I could die. I prayed earnestly with all that was in me. I lost weight but that wasn’t important. I told God I would go for months and years if need be and I meant it.


I surrendered everything because I was really tired of handling the affairs of my life. Life lost its taste. In the place of prayer, I learnt that I could ask God for direction and trust him to direct my path. Nothing in the world is constant. You could have a perfect husband, house, kids, money, and lose it all in a heartbeat.


‘A man’s heart is where his treasure is.’

I saw myself in the rich man that got angry and turned away when Jesus told him the way for him to enter the kingdom of God was by giving away all he had. I placed the essence of life on physical things – marriage, money, fame.


Ola, ‘taste and see that the Lord is good’ is not a cliche. He healed my mind and gave me a new purpose that I thought I always had. The same purpose.


By the time I lost my job to the COVID-19 retrenchment, I was already fortified with blind trust in God. I have handed over the wheels of my life to him. It turns out I don’t quite enjoy driving so I am occupying the back seat now.


The peace I have is beautiful and it beats any luxury I could ever have.


Don’t misunderstand me. I still like luxury and the good life. I still seek and grab opportunities. I am still working to be on the Forbes list but without any of these things, I will be as good as I am with them. Like Paul, all things that were gain to me I counted loss for Christ.


Christ is the only constant in a world where every other thing is inconsistent.

The assurance of salvation I have in Christ is all that matters; which is why I wonder how people who believe they can lose their salvation cope.

The struggle they must be going through!!! We should teach them, Ola.

With Love,
Mama.

-ChyD
© 2020

Here And Now

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Here and Now
Here and now,
I stand tall with my head high
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
Here and now, I live in freedom for I no longer hide behind a mask
Grace has exposed my flaws and inadequacies
But He has given me a face to shine
Here and now, I have chosen grace over everything else
And the Holy Spirit empowers me
To live daily, my best life.

Ijeoma Obi
© 2020