There is a numbness in my head
A searing pain that threatens to strip me of my sanity
And blur my senses of whatever hold on life they have left
So much that my hands cannot thump my chest
Cannot allow me to say it is alright and that I have help within
Groaning out to remind me of who I am and why there’s life in me, but I scream

The numb becomes a pain that only allows me see the trauma
And bitterness and anger I carried for so long
That I could not forgive myself because of
And has now taken control of who I am
The numb has spread to my fingers
I cannot touch my face, to feel the life that lives in me
Cannot feel the warmth on my skin
The blood that flows through my veins

I stagger backwards and I feel a panic rising in my chest
Up to my windpipe threatening to come out through my mouth and when it does
I gasp for air, for a breath
I steady myself by a wall and with wide eyes I take deep breaths
Swallowing as much as I can force down then the tears come
Willingly, patiently, next they become sobs, loud
Choking sobs and in that moment I feel the life seep out of me
Slowly, without a fight and my legs, weak, throb
Throb so bad I can no longer stand so I slide down while hugging myself

It is not going to be alright
It won’t be alright until I see the help right within me
Silently saying ‘it’s okay’ all the while I was fighting with myself
Telling me to stop and allow him fight because my defenses are down
With the numbness and pain
But I could not see it because I took my eyes off him and focused on me
My pain, my panic, my hurt and so it’s not going to be alright
Until I stop fighting alone

© 2019


Tattooed me

But He was wounded for our transgressions
He was crushed for our wickedness
The punishment for our well-being fell on Him
And by His stripes we are healed.

The stripes signified his tattoos …
Our names where tattooed there on his body
Don’t be startled he cant forget us
Our names are permanently tattooed on his skin
So say to yourself “He tattooed me”

With his Alcoholic love,
That produces eternal drunkenness
He tattooed us
So that when we fall in love we get risen by his Grace
Cause falling for him is rising in peace
So say to yourself “He tattooed me”

When troubles seems to roar at us,
Like the animal king trying to scare its pride
We roar back with an unknown language
And confusion becomes the dress they wear
So you know what to say “He tattooed me”

Let us suck sense when we think of Success
its not by what you have but by who you have
And when you succeed and the seed you sucked
Makes you feel it is by your power then your sense sulks!

I’ll tell you a story
about one man they called Joseph,
Whose destiny was wrapped carefully with poverty,
Whose freedom was enclosed in the hands that collected money for him to be sold,
Who was tied above for people to watch from below exactly how God made him,
Whose pride was locked up in a prison they called circumstances!
But within him laid a being that has been his assurance, he called father
Who looked at him in such situation and called him ‘Success’
so when you feel it is all finished
Say to your self “He tattooed me”

I believe,
Not in the power of other spirit
But in the power of the spirit he promised never to leave or forsake us
For the sake of love on the cross he shed his blood for me!

…and when my feelings tend to lecture me on if God is with me or not
I’ll sit it down and give it a cup filled with his words to taste and see that the Lord is good!


– Felzpoecy (2019)

Letter to a beloved brother

What is ahead beyond all holds
A glory not far-fetched
With a little-more stretch

Behold, Courageous and be bold
As you trend this road
Again! do NOT be told
Of the whale-sized Mack on the road

Along the aisle
Never give yourself to wine
Never bargain your mirror with Mammon
Unto the higher calling-press on!

Standards will rise
Beat up your wings: fly high
When ye fall
Let the strong man stand tall strong

Remember Christ graced your weaknesses
Even in the bashings, crashing and crushing
Take His word ever-bracing
That your bones be strengthened!

Remember Christ the song
For the lost but found
Your help to come
With whom is NO doubt
And upon His wings, you shalt mount

Beloved! in all
Beyond my beseeching lyrics
Rhymes, structures and schemes
Guard up your heart against all ill-schemes

Flee from vices
Against the fears eyes could see
Let not your heart be as the wavering boat on the sea
To your Samson, guard against Madame-disguises


© 2019


When you think of redemption
You think of letting go the pieces your life has become
To be put back together
You think of wholeness, newness
When you think of redemption
You think of brokenness
The image of you crumbling, like a folded piece of paper
Your head between your knees, rocking back and forth, mumbling words, seeking help
When you think of redemption
You think of a new page
The already drawn out lines – direction from your Creator
He said, here’s life, a blank sheet, decide if you’ll follow the lines
Or scribble across the page
When you think of redemption
You think of a new person
A life bereft of old trappings
A life, anew
Because love
Because transformation
Because newness
Because God
When you have redemption
There’s that Peace that passes your yearn to grasp its meaning
Redemption let’s you take those baby steps
Your hands in God’s, your steps right behind his
When you think of redemption, you know there’s hope.

IfiokAbasi Okop
© 2019

EVERYDAYJESUS is with moi! (An update)

I think I am a really busy person, now and especially during my last lap at the University. ‘Busy’ with necessary business: I was a final year student in her last semester so that spelt STUDY and PROJECT! I was also a start-up entrepreneur; you may not find it necessary but for me, purpose and life needed funding – if you understand what I mean. I was and I am still committed to a local church because that is part of my responsibilities. I was and I am also human being therefore I needed to eat, sleep, launder for ‘me’ and also ensure that I don’t become an “I”(you know, it is easier for me to lose two pounds than it is for me to gain a pound, literally speaking). I was and am still also a girl who loves looking good so I needed some time for that every day. And oh, I had lectures to attend, and guess what, the lecturers swept the official time table under the carpet. Also I had found myself, so I have to always speak up – I WRITE! And ultimately, I am a Christian therefore my spirit needs Word grooming every day! That is what I survive on.

I had and I still have just 24 hours just like everyone else, therefore I had to plan every day, the day before and of course updating my to-do list every night. I made plans everyday but sometimes, some things wouldn’t just go as planned. The pressures of my great everyday busyness formed my every day cares. My project was really slow because my research samples were a bit funny – human breast milk! Getting them was really not a joke. I was not even done with the first chapter by the time I first wrote this whereas submission was for July. I had to complete and defend my project come mid-July- It was June 1, already. I also had to contribute my daily quota to the Kingdom by writing and living. Oh how I planned and worked at my daily schedule diligently but how things chose to move pretty slowly, my project for one. In fact that day, I had to re-adjust a letter I wrote to a hospital just after being delayed for three days by my department to get it endorsed. I mean I didn’t have all that time! Well, somehow I discovered that I was unruffled and unstressed by my many stresses. I was and am still rested. I had learned to rest on the Truth that He is IMMANUEL to me, the God that is ever with me. I also stayed and I still do stay on the truth that I have JESUS, the saving God. He didn’t just save my soul, He saves
my day every day. In fact His job description was and is still saving me! He is still saving situations for me daily. I was and I am still comforted by the truth that I am in His care. He loves me more than I love myself therefore He understood and He still understands the urgency of my needs and cares so much more than I think I do. I love the truth that He will never, ever leave me or abandon me in any mess. I don’t like to mess up but even if things go messy, He shows me mercy. Cleaning up my mess is not my business but His. I am His business. Yahweh has infinite methods of doing the same thing, this is what I like to call ‘OMNIPOTENT- SAVE- THE -DAY’. God never depends on our action or inaction to work things out, He depends on my trust for DADDY! He is Abba father, and daddy never lacks a plan so I think I am safe!

Cast all your anxieties upon the lord for He cares for you – 1 Peter 5: 7(NIV)

…and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20b (NIV)

By Favouromeje, 2016.

Help please

It doesn’t matter how little of the word you know
Please listen to me oh so closely
You don’t have to memorize the scriptures whole
To tell me about Jesus and how He saves me

You do not need to have perfected it all
For you to share with me this truth
Please tell me about Jesus, His sacrifice and His call
If He can save you, He can save me too

It doesn’t matter how you choose to present it
Be it in song so sweet, words so keen or talents harnessed till great
Please don’t wait for a stage, just find it in your heart to tell me
How Jesus saves me from these chains of guilt and shame

Please don’t be so shy you don’t notice
Just beneath the bravado, beneath the flair and excitement, listen
My heart cries out through my eyes desperately
Do help a soul in need of a Saviour: Jesus, tell me about him

I know I’ve heard it before and yes I didn’t listen
Probably I would as well pay no heed to you today
But please don’t let me go away don’t give up on me
Oh please don’t be weary to pray to preach it still, Jesus saves

I know you can’t make it to the villages I live in
I know you’d rather we had a nice chat than evangelize
I know I’m no small challenge to stand up to and fearlessly speak
But still I plead you tell me about Jesus for the sake of my life

I know I tell you I don’t need Him
I know I mock and criticize your faith
I put to question your convictions, I tell you to leave Him
But please see my ignorance and preach all the same

I am no better of the two
I’d love to go free of my crime if you’d let me be
Still I would like to be in paradise too
Please share with me this gospel that can save me

Please talk to me about Jesus
His fellowship, His suffering, His reign
Oh how I want to know Him and His love
If only you’d tell me about Him and His manifold grace

One day I will die and regret the choices I made down life’s course
On that great day I’ll wonder why I never surrendered to Him
I just hope yours will not be the shadow I recall
Blocking His light from truly reaching and saving me

Poet’s Note: I once heard an illustration: imagine you just escaped a most terrible forest which you had stumbled into; filled with all the horrors any man can think of. Then just as you gain freedom barely trying to catch your breath, you suddenly spot a beautiful family happily strolling in unawares of the dangers within. What would you do?