A fool

Let me be a fool;
Lend to a friend that never refunds
With him going not a sorrowing
Break my fast at night
Sharing with a pot-bellied drunk
Without puncturing his food-filled belly

Let me be a fool;
Forgive the most heinous crimes
with no reference to ‘forgive but don’t forget’;
Unlearn the act of saying ‘No’;
Yes to my inconvenience and sufferance
If it’s in giving a helping hand

Let me be a fool;
Grow a heart so big it’s a foster home
For all religion, colour, status and age
Curl over grenades of lies, abuse and hurt
In a bid to save my home

Let me be a fool;
Be silent for the sake of peace
And Eloquent for love
End the search for purpose
And embrace love as my sole purpose

Let me be a fool;
Travel miles on foot for love
With no clue what to expect at my destination;
Still travel with a prior prophecy of doom of my trip
Let me be a fool for love
Let me live and die for love

ChyD
© 2019

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Numb

There is a numbness in my head
A searing pain that threatens to strip me of my sanity
And blur my senses of whatever hold on life they have left
So much that my hands cannot thump my chest
Cannot allow me to say it is alright and that I have help within
Groaning out to remind me of who I am and why there’s life in me, but I scream

The numb becomes a pain that only allows me see the trauma
And bitterness and anger I carried for so long
That I could not forgive myself because of
And has now taken control of who I am
The numb has spread to my fingers
I cannot touch my face, to feel the life that lives in me
Cannot feel the warmth on my skin
The blood that flows through my veins

I stagger backwards and I feel a panic rising in my chest
Up to my windpipe threatening to come out through my mouth and when it does
I gasp for air, for a breath
I steady myself by a wall and with wide eyes I take deep breaths
Swallowing as much as I can force down then the tears come
Willingly, patiently, next they become sobs, loud
Choking sobs and in that moment I feel the life seep out of me
Slowly, without a fight and my legs, weak, throb
Throb so bad I can no longer stand so I slide down while hugging myself

It is not going to be alright
It won’t be alright until I see the help right within me
Silently saying ‘it’s okay’ all the while I was fighting with myself
Telling me to stop and allow him fight because my defenses are down
With the numbness and pain
But I could not see it because I took my eyes off him and focused on me
My pain, my panic, my hurt and so it’s not going to be alright
Until I stop fighting alone

IFIOKABASI OKOP
© 2019

Confession

Bless me father for I have sinned,
It’s the…. First in a long time since my last confession.
I come to confess that I have no need for these confessions.
That two thousand years and counting, I accept the new profession.
I confess,
That I accept Jesus as Lord therefore I am no sinner.
I confess,
That sin is now locked up and I am it’s master.
I confess,
That I am blessed beyond a curse, and even on dark days I do not need you to bless me,
You see, Abraham’s blessings are mine.
Therefore I confess,
That I am light to shine in darkness, even in my hard times.
I confess,
That when I fall, I will take outstretched arms and rise again from empty tombs of fleshy desires.
I confess,
That when you fall, dear Padre, I will stretch my arms to hold you up and God help me,
I confess,
I am Christian and therefore in me shall the nations of the earth be blessed.

I confess, dear Sir,
I am not alone,
There is an army of us rising!
So forgive me padre for I have sinned,
This is my first confession in a long time,
I haven’t confessed my confession of Jesus to you till now.

Father, forgive me for I have sinned
I have spat on your face
I have lied, cheated
I have killed myself so many times
The only movie I see is the Edge of tomorrow
The robe you once gave me
I have torn into pieces
A Louie rag I now put on
To slay the daughters of the world
As I feed on the crumbs of their flesh
And quench my thirst with their desires
I have spilled the blood
Of new born babies all over hands
And i have stoned You with my acts of imperfection
And crowned You with my thorns of Mistake
I hope You can forgive me for all these sins,
Cause now, i find myself
Right in the tomb you called me out of….
I hope that came out right,
For i have lost it all

Olaoye Adeleye
St. Davnique
© 2019

Best Syllable

I have envisioned, read and learned
I have traveled, heard and lived
But the best syllables is that of a dying
Man, who is near to a new beginning

His tones are calm like gospel
His eyes peace, reconciliatory, transitory
Forgive is all he says
Forgive is all he repeats

For friends and foes alike
Are criminals condemned alike
Both entered the prison the same way
Both will sleep someday.

Forgive is all he says
Forgive is all he repeats
For man has nothing since
The beginning but his nakedness

It is only Allah that generously gives
And it is I AM that takes away
Forgive is all he says
Forgive is all he repeats

I have traveled and learned
But the best syllables of life is that of a dying man, who is near to a new beginning

Ugwu David. C
© 2019