Out-Heal the Loss

Hello, My name is Niel and these are the ChristaPoet Freestyle Sessions. This year, ChristaPoet wants to give you a special perspective to our freestyles. At first, some of these poems were published as stand-alone pieces. But in actuality, each poem is an untitled part of a freestyle session. Each freestyle session is given a topic for the poems to address.

Today, we see the last of the February 25th 2022 poems. Topic was “Regeneration”.
Yesterday, we went through the ladies who all posted inside the 11th hour. So today we begin at 12:10 PM, with the CaP goddess, Chika St. Davnique:


I feel pain every time I think of my sister.

And I’m not thinking about myself when I think of her.

I’m thinking of all the ways in which she was alive.

I’m reliving the moments in which her smile lived.

And the pain I feel, it’s not selfish.


So no.


Adjust your lenses


And somewhere around this period, she got into a sensitive discussion with MeerahZoe. Now because some parts of the discussion was in voicenotes, I will give you a summary of the most important point made during the argument. The rest is honey and milk for CaP members. To join up, GoTo the “Join Us” tab

They were talking about different people’s reactions to loss. Chika said: As Christian writers, w hen we write, we owe it to the world and our audience to say what is true, and not just what we feel at the moment. Infact, whenever we want to be so subjective, we should state that this is us and just our perspective. Making absolute statements based on subjectivity has to stop.

At 12:36 PM, Chika St. Davnique made some some more poetry:


‘Please hold on while your transaction is processing…’

I’m staring lost in thought.
My mind, a multiverse of directions my thoughts wish to take.

Another line from a poem my father taught me floats into my brain…

‘We have come to the crossroad, and I either leave or come with you’

So I go with it.

The thought that we are always in the midst of a transaction. Always coming and going from an exchange. Always living or dying, giving or leaving.

The machine is still grinding, my body is still standing.
I wonder, does the man behind me know I’m lost.
Or is he lost in the endless start of things?

Is he coming and going from worries?
Is he in a loop of misdirection? And does he know the dimensions of life’s transactions?

Does he know what matters? Is he exchanging his time here for true treasures?
Or has he bought into the lie that he owns real estate in Time’s garden park?

‘Thank you for banking with us’

My fingers move of their accord. Cash in hand, I hold the physical equivalent of my time. I stroll on still lost… in thought trains.

Like, are we living or dying slowly?

And what is breathing if life is lived in beautiful moments?

Why does it come in cycles of the same patterns?

Are we living lives once lived?

…car honk and I remember to find myself.
Here.
On the road home.

Kinda like life, right?


And then, at 12:38 PM, catch a glimpse of what MeerahZoe was saying during the conversation:


This in itself is not a bad thing.
I’m a mental health advocate, and I know that self care is not selfish.
I also understand the human impulse to defend what we feel or are experiencing.

I was actually talking about the often masochistic need we have to hold on to pain even when we know it is crippling.


I have to say, I understood both their stances…but I just wrote on at 1:53 PM, probably with the mind to de-escalate the matter:


Black gems;
– made of what I used to call trash
– make me valuate my answers
– prayers sneaking outta coffins
– studded both my belt and cufflinks

What else?

I didn’t heal when you hugged me
I felt hate from my sulking
But I knew that was not important
I’m glad you haven’t kicked the bucket
Glad you haven’t kicked the bucket

Big wolves leaving bite marks
Farm hands turning lone sharks
My heart used to have cracks
Now it’s powdered like its custard
So I give it up to Father
Me I know he’ll take me farther
Speaking healing past the storm’s parts
Wash my eyes with water God spat


After a bit of silence, probably because I write mouth-shutting stuff, at 3:45 PM, Hanna Azubuike:


Please stop burning my eyes with how one should mourn a loss. You have healed, you have forgotten the pain you went through. Help with the Word if you must say something. Let her fully heal before you share how you mourned yours. You will never understand the closeness either. Let the eyes be dried before you point the picture and the different colors.


And at 5:49 PM, Imani Dokubo finesse with a few words from her beautiful:


Things die quickly when plucked from their source.
Root, the plants source.
God, the believers source.

Regeneration never happens without a source.


At 6:44 PM, the final freestyle of the day was delivered by Cap founder, Ezeonyeka Godswill, an enigmatic leader whose words always clear the air:


Writing is vulnerable. To war with the worlds in your mind so that you can birth words is sacrifice. We bear in our hands bleeding mysteries as we concise conscious constellations into careful captions. We know not all is said but what must have been said. The world wonders at writers not because it cannot produce as they do but because writers learn through the pain of introspection how to transport seedlings of thought across mind so that on the winds of communication the death of a world can find regeneration through the planting of these words.


Enough said; REGENARATE NOW, In the name of Jesus!!


Authors:
Chika St. Davnique
MeerahZoe
The Niel Quchi
Hanna Azubuike
Imani Dokubo
Ezeonyeka Godswill

You don’t have to be lonely


Hello, My name is Niel and these are the ChristaPoet Freestyle Sessions. This year, ChristaPoet wants to give you a special perspective to our freestyles. At first, some of these poems were published as stand-alone pieces. But in actuality, each poem is an untitled part of a freestyle session. Each freestyle session is given a topic for the poems to address.

In a workbook of God discussions, I revealed how I could be late with the release of the topic of the day. There are also days when I totally forget the significance of the day. That is to explain why we are here on the 21st of May, all the way from the 7th.

Nonso John came in at 9:20am with bleeding stone:


A bleeding stone.
A crying hair strand.
And a thousand other oddities.
All spectacles I’ve once beheld.
But, sitting cross-legged in this place,
Watching this stranger smile at me,
Ghoulish eyes, golden teeth.
Hairs on my skin began to crawl.
I never felt silence
Tickle me like a child.
I swear, I didn’t laugh.
Okay, maybe I laughed a lil bit
Before I started to cry.
I’m standing on the precipice again.
The desert sands, an eternity
Stretched from here on out.
The fear rattles something in my ribs.
But, I’m plodding right on alone.
I never felt silence
Pierce me like a ninja’s katana
I swear, it didn’t even hurt.
Okay, maybe it did a lil bit
Before I started to bleed.
I never felt silence
Slam me like a knock-out punch.
But this stranger is stranger no longer,
Ghoulish eyes and bad breath notwithstanding,
For, we became friends last night.
Now, I’m shooting for the heavens
And I’ll try and catch the rain.
So, hold your ticket, youngins
Daddy’s going to stop the train.
I never heard silence
Whisper sweet empties to me.
Nor felt this long lovely cuddle with her,
Hold each other oh-so-damn close,
Like I felt today.
I hate the conspiracy of silence.
Like him and her and they too
All of creation, and Creator too.
Collude to miss my every single call.
Courtesy herself wants no part of this.
For your sake, I pray.
I pray you never hear silence.
Or feel mute stupefaction.
When answers are all you seek.
Still, I never felt silence.
Love me like this one does.


And after that, there was an uncanny 2hour interval. Like, why did Ebube wait till exactly 10:20 to say this?


Subliminal is a minister, how many of you know her?
You see,
She is like a sister
inside Esther
her assistance to feet trapped like ants on the exposed tongue of a frog sways conclusion.

It’s only an illusion if you weren’t named feeble minded that very moment when you feel your foots scrambling up the stairs it creeps in, transmitting sensations like an ant working with even steps on a skin before it stings
Lark sings carelessly of what they think; one who is slack in his job is the brother to destruction…
Mild feelings of discomfort shouldn’t be your beast, ball rolls from the crowd giving no wave of warmth don’t be too serious rollick
You’re not obliged to hunting feelings of embarrassing you on a pedestal, rock pedestals are results of erosion you know.

If your subconscious erode intentions from a pinnacle belltower obstacles
When you see yourself working up the podium it shouldn’t be a mirage, the range within veins swaying like lightning can make you timid, as self reminds you of how bashful you are to say something too you weren’t given the spirit of fear but of sound mind and power.
It’s far better to dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure.


Now, bear in mind that I had not yet said the topic. I didn’t say so nor was there any more freestyling till after 11am, at 11:06am. The Topic?

NEVER WALK ALONE

Before I say anything further, here is UC Truth at 11:10am; just four minutes after the topic was given:


Maybe God gave us two feet
just to teach us
that we should never walk alone


I know you were expecting a long one. Sometimes, there is not really much on a man’s mind.

Now, I was about to talk about the topic. I believe that either in God Sightings or What to pray about, I mentioned that I trust God for these topics. So sometimes, when they pop in my head, I’m like, “Lord, really?!”

At 11:35am, Captain Edet came through like (no, not like bang daraerang)… And he named his freestyle. This guy:


*Unashamed*
Let me some room
I have a speech to make,
Hear now, the words that I speak.
I’m a child of God and I’ve got no shame
I’m a saint of God because he calls me one
I will stand on the highest peak, shout at the top of my voice and make sure the world hears my words.

I’m unashamed of the gospel of Christ
The gospel that breaks chains
Sets the captives free
The gospel that brings victory
Makes the sick man whole
I’m unashamed to declare this day my love for the Father,
ByOh yes, that Mighty Man of war that rules the heavens and earth
The Supreme Commander of the host of heaven
He is my God.

I’m unashamed to proclaim my stand
My salvation and victory
I’m unashamed because I wasn’t given the spirit of fear, no
But that of love and of a sound mind.
Why should I feel shame when I was bought with blood, the blood that speaks better things than that of judgement–the blood of Abel
I’m not ashamed to be called a Christian, this is my identity, this is my reality.
I am who God says I am and I AM NOT ASHAMED.


And he didn’t stop…at 11:46 he dropped another at 11:46am:


I will not leave you nor forsake you,
In the thickest fog, I’ll be there.
When the storm rages and threatens the peace of the ocean, I’ll be there.
When the earth quakes, I’ll be there.
Do not be afraid for I have overcome the world, I’ll be with you always and you’ll never have to walk alone

And then, my people, I thought that the day would be full of poetry spurts like this…but UBA at 1:50pm was the last spurt. Turns out, the topic is Liverpool FC’s Motto or something…so Uba went straight for the neck, with football word associations:


All the arsenal I need, that’s the word
You cut me and forgiveness is all I bleed
Proud Liverpool fan
You know I never walk Alone
I live in HIS Cantonment
Military zone
Tell the Devil stay clear
Washed in his blood
Sin and I don’t stay near
Connect to my source like a charger head to a cord
Always a winner
My God is Mercy
The Devil can’t do me frodd
See, He’s the Way maker
Chain breaker
The owner of the field
Not just a plot but the entire acre
So no matter what life plays
My coach is the game changer
And when the whistle blow, that’s Rapture
It’s game over
So better have in in your corner
Make you no waka Alone


And that was it for freestyles that day. I wonder which month to go to next…

I believe that if you had read any of these poems on their own, you would get a part of the picture. Now you see them together, I think it’s a more wholesome picture. Tell us what you think, and see you next time


Authors:
Nonso John
Ebube
UC Truth
Edet
Uba

FLAME ON


Isn’t it sad how in a blink of an eye, your world can just flipped like a light switch
You were once top draw now it seem like you have been relegated to the bottom
You thought you had finally carved a niche for your self
That your art will set the world on fire
That nothing could stop you from climbing that pedestal and get higher
Suddenly reality hits you like a drunk driver
That sometimes, the only thing you get higher on have now become dark clouds forming in your lungs
Or drowning your pains at the depth of the green bottle
You wish it could take your thoughts far away from this world like a space shuttle or shield your mind from harsh reality’s sun but even that ain’t strong enough

You have come to realized that Life can become that bully always ready to treat you
But all you ever desired is a soft landing
Become Superman so your skin can be tough
But you see these streets, she no get Joy
What was once beautiful like Helen of Troy
The streets will destroy
Plant a decoy to take your gaze from your goal
Throw mirage of fame and fortune, her aim is to cajole
Sinking you deep into depression and locking you in her hole

Your heart is finally empty, she has stolen your soul
Now you are wandering loose like a kite
Looking for who to take away this noose off your neck and free you from your plight
But in all these struggles, one thing must be gained
That Flicker of hope and faith that you must refuse to extinguish
That call to turn on your human torch and continually show the world what you are fantastic for
That call to distinguish yourself from the lot
That call to tear up the old story and write yourself a new plot
To drift your mind from the norm into certainty

This should always send excitement bubbling on your inside
That you can’t wait to Ex yourself from your past life
You can’t wait for this cross to become a source of strength
Can’t wait to flame on and set the world on fire
Can’t wait to speak resurrections to those souls that have wallowed too long in this graveyard
Can’t wait to help heal minds that have been marred
To clot hearts that have been scared
Yes, your hurt is what’s burning now but no pain is eternal
You can rise from these ashes like a Phoenix
And if you don’t like the song life is singing, just hit her with the remix
Never forget that you are that fire this world has been waiting for
So what are you waiting for,
Flame On!!!

Uba Isoje
©2021

Letter to Ola #3

Dear Olaedo,


Your greatest fear

What’s your greatest fear in life? If you are anything like me, it would be a failure.

Failure to measure up. Failure to prove to everyone that you are not basic. Failure to achieve everything you’ve set out to achieve. Failure to pepper dem. Or just failure!

Living with this fear is maddening. It is stressful! You keep trying to measure up for all the wrong reasons.

Fear is no respecter of any reason so even if it is for the right reasons, it would still mess you up.

I used to think the fear of failure is a good thing and that it would make you stay on your toes and put more effort into whatever it is you are doing to succeed.

It does the opposite.

When you have pushed all the boundaries you can push and things don’t go your way, you hate yourself. You slowly go into depression. You think you are incomplete.

Putting too much value on things that can perish is not a good idea because as much as you think you have what it takes to get and keep what you want, life still happens.
People still die!

Otedola, Dangote, and few other successful Nigerians you know weren’t the only people with access to capital, wit, hard work, and smart work in their generation.

Time and chance happen to everyone.

This is not to say you should not aspire to be great! I am a hustler! So hustle ooooooo so that…(complete it with what is likely to happen to you. Lol.)

At the end of the day we all die; the rich and the poor, the young and the old.

I don’t know my grandfather. A couple of his direct children are dead. In a few years, every other person who knew him would be dead. Would it be insensitive to say I don’t even care about him?

I hope he enjoyed the short life he lived. I hope he didn’t try to please everybody. I hope he did only what he could and what he was ready for at every point in his life.

I have the same hopes for you.

Relax!

With Love,
Mama

-ChyD
© 2020

Who Is Jesus 2

JESUS is our hope.
In this gross darkness in which we grope,
He’s our solution, not just a way to cope!
So even in the midst of recession, confusion, depression, oppression,
He stands as our resurrection,
Life in all its perfection!
JESUS is our prince
JESUS is our peace…
All at the same time.

JESUS is timeless.
He has been, He will be
His reign is endless
He has conquered hell and the grave
All power belongs to HIM and He alone can save
He was there from the beginning,
He’ll be there till the end
He’s not just our saviour,
He’s our friend!
JESUS is the Alpha
JESUS is the Omega…
All at the same time

Damaris
© 2020

Who Is Jesus

JESUS is…
The greatest hero in the greatest tale ever told,
The mighty king who left his estate of gold
Not for ‘snow white’
No.
For people whose garments were far from bright,
People who interpret wrong as right,
People whose eyes had never known light
JESUS is our knight in shiny armour,
He’s our prince charming in all his splendour…
all at the same time

JESUS is God disguised as man
Divinity masked in humanity,
The All Powerful cloaked in humility.
The Creator who meekly stands at the door of the created,
Calmly calling out to all who are broken, all who need their hearts mended
Calling out to the weak, the sick, to all people, to all nations
Offering the free gift of redemption!
JESUS is a superman
JESUS is a gentleman…
All at the same time

JESUS is God’s extension cord of love.
Love… nothing short of divine, sent from above.
Laying it all on the line,
He gave his life and took on mine
Freely, he gave us freedom
Choosing to make us a part of his kingdom!
He rescued us from the sentence of our sins,
And our lives haven’t been the same ever since!
JESUS is the Lion,
JESUS is the Lamb…
All at the same time

Damaris
© 2020