I have never been comfortable with the idea of being just fine…

Of putting on plastic smiles and shaded eyes that hide the painful truth that this is the life I am travailing through

Of repeatedly saying fine to this one question to dam the waters of pain trying to burst its way through the facade, the false ads, damn it all to hell, these three word courtesy is hell to my ears.

Nobody cares, nobody listens, nobody’s there, why break a glisten? Listen!

Listen to my heart giving my ribs a beating and hear my eyes scream with every pound and every pound just in time to remind me, I’m still alive, still alone, my face still with that smile and the world still idly moving along.

Break in, break in to my thoughts and tell me its going to be okay, that I can take these turns, that I can fight these wars, that I can act all I want and you will still know when all I just need is a hug.

I know it is dark around you too but I hear a candle looses nothing in lighting another…

Just look around you I’m there, reach for me, I am near, you could be my hakuna matata, if you would only look beyond what you see, you could be my hakuna matata if you would only see beyond my mascara.

You know you are right about me, I’m just a selfish, ignorant cry baby with a low self esteem complex but if the world was filled with only people like you, is that all I’d ever be?

You say God is love but how am I to believe this if you don’t let me see Him in you, if you don’t let me see His love through you?

So yes I am not fine, don’t be asking me how I am if you are not prepared to listen for the truth through my lips or otherwise. Just know this, you might be my last chance at seeing the light. I just hope I don’t die in the dark. I just hope I don’t die in the dark!

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!

By Ezeonyeka Godswill