Breathe

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I am no stranger to pain,
I’m quite the scarred miracle myself,
My eyes have bled and my heart has leaked,
I can totally relate to the word ache,
I know what it feels like for the world to end,
For the sky to drop heavily on your chest so much that you can’t breathe,
To clench your hands tightly hoping that u are actually holding on to something, only for you to realize that you are and it’s not just enough,
To realize that u are claustrophobic and there isn’t that much space in the world,
And maybe you’ll find that space in your mind only that’s it’s too quiet in there,

I know that feeling all to well,
That one that has turned you into an actor,
You don’t need to rehearse you know the script like the back of your palms,
Like this,
Hey, how are u?
And you’d say,
I’m awesome you ?
And you’ll find that smile that never fails to hide the scars and fresh wounds you’ve become so used to,
And you’ve learnt to find strength,
In the welcoming breast of your pillow,
Because somehow it takes the tears and never drowns you in it,
She’ll help you face the world,
And for a fleeting moment it will be as though the world isn’t closing down on you,
And you’ll almost believe it,

Xophie

(c) 2018

Labels and False Identities

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The world we currently live in seems to always have a name for someone or something that behaves or acts in a particular manner. “If it barks, its probably a dog…”, “If it hisses its a snake… “, “If he says he’s not had sex then he’s so lame”

By who’s standards are these labels made? And should one pick up that label and become what they say?

The world apparently is on a downward spiral. Morals and ethics have proven to hold no water as we could see in law suits, where truth is twisted by technicality.

But there is only one name that should matter to you and I. One label and identity that supersedes what the world may label us. “CHILDREN OF THE MOST HIGH”.

By this one identity, we have tapped into the bloodline that is steeped in grace and herded by a gentle, Holy Ghost. Who daily calls us to ensure we carry the family name and practice the family trade…Fishing, as fishers of men. We know that it is neither by power nor by might, lest any man should boast, thats why he said, “the race is neither to the strong nor to the swift…”, it may be as impossible as a camel passing through the eye of a needle, BUT… “With men, these things are impossible, but with God, all things a possible “. So don’t be suprised when the people of the world wonder why you are ready to be so submissive to one ordinary man, why they cannot comprehend how one person was willing to take the blame for everyone’s crimes in hopes that they’ll someday believe His story, why they do not get how we can proclaim “faith” and pray to a God no one sees. How can they? You cannot see through the eyes of faith if you do not have it. And so they label you, and call you names. But do not fret. Stand fast. Speak, preach, sing, rap, design, play, and proclaim the gospel of Christ. Do not worry after that, because for centuries, camels have been passing through the eye of needles.

Scriptures: Rom 8:17, John 15:18, Matthew 10:22

Anonymous

(2018)

NOSTALGIA- 1

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Nostalgia, my brother,
Is the name of my daughter.

She was born in an instant, when I missed you with my beat heart.
I fell flat, in hot love, with something that was not born,
Yet found you first loved me and save me, like, daily,

So Bros I remember,
The clefts of this ember,
Our passion for loving the world, being called worldly,
And then in December, we rice past our has-beans; to love all we meet till they toothpick nostalgia.

The Niel
© 2018

#FreestyleFriday
#Nostalgia
#TheNiel

THE ETHNIC WAR OF INNER VOICES WITHIN MAN

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Hmmm…Have you walked down this lane?
The lane of the warring voices embedded in the mind?
Where voices rage war in the soft bones of your mind,
Over choices and decisions,
Voices sounding right under the spell of imaginative confusion,
Wrong when castrated of the spell,
Where reasoning becomes afraid to reason,
Cos even in the cause of reasoning choices coated in capsules of poison seize thy taste of choice,
Confused over nothing yet confused over everything,

Drowned in the ocean of counterfeited uncertified voices draining broken pieces of unfulfilled dreams sketched out,
These voices keep on speaking,
That the only surviving cartilage in the brain of my head has been ruptured
Unseen yet powerful and influential voices, trapped in myriads of scorn,
This is an inbuilt ethnic war,
Who can save me from this destiny device,
Where voices echo unraveled solutions and complicated ideas to same thing,
Which do my being become a slave to?

Rains of confusion has embarked on a rescue journey at the central park of my head,
Taking rest at the hallucinated desolate field of lost,
The sweet and gentle voice of procrastination has embalmed its statue in me and silenced my voice of reason placing it in the solitudinal grave of eternity,

I wear smiles wrinkled on the inside,
Spraying the perfume of faded smile to avoid panel of questioning,
Inner pimples has eaten deep my dimpled mind of rest,
Hiding under the cloaky face care of MARY KAY
To bring out the dimples amidst the pimpled troubled mind,

Which voice do I cling to?
The sugar coated diabetic voice or the fading- like silent voice embedded with thorns and water logged pathway to destiny,

OH!!! OH…
War of voices within…
My soul has become aged at the peak of my youthful mind,
Let me think and make one… my permanent abode for a gloomy doom await the confused mind making choices,
Follow me on my journey but with cautioned silence.

Kanu Nonye

© 2018

SUICIDE

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I’ve written lots of things and deleted it,
I’m short of letters, talkless about words,
I’ve crumpled the pages of my notebooks,
written lots of doodles, smile at one minute,
And then cry at the next,
But now I’m just typing,

I smile at things that make me happy,
I frown at uncertainties,
Should I? Shouldn’t I? Can I? What if?
Questions…….
Afraid to take a decisive step,
I sit and sit,
Becoming a smiling mannequin,
For all and sundry,

I strive to make everyone smile,
All the time,
At the expense of my piece of mind,
Hey you, Be this……….
You there, Be that…….
Come on, I think you’re better this way……
On and on, they say,
Till my world spirals and gets sucked up in “voices”,

“Voices”,
Till I became dead to the VOICE,
Seriously, I can’t even hear HIM no more,
I’m at the end of the rope,
Teetering on the brink of sanity,
Toying with, no, relishing the thought of going over the edge,
Falling down, down, down and down,
Smiling at the very thought of it,
Dying,

Dying??
Why?
For whom?
To what end?
To punish who?
The voice said.
Myself, I reply.
Myself, for being a fool.
For hating myself.
For being a piece of dead leaf
Being tossed to and fro by the tumultuous wave.
For not loving myself., I answered,

And then what next, He asked?
That, I don’t have the answer to,
I’d be dead already,
Okay, you worthless piece,
Since that’s how you see yourself,
That’s what I’ll call you,
You were not put in the world to just breathe in its air,
Drink is water, eat it’s food, enjoy its holidays,
Spend its monies, and just give up like that,

You exist, you don’t just live,
Love yourself, not just others,
Don’t exchange peace of mind with piece of friends,
It ain’t worth it,
You are worth more,
Ah! So much more than rubies,
So much more than money,
Because of just one thing,
I love you!
So, get down from that cliff,
Sit down, breathe 3,2,1, there you are!
Stand up, dust your shoes,
The world is waiting for you!

Emenike Chinwendu

© 2018