Book Review: The Pursuit of God

Author: A. W. Tozer
Pages: Typically 128-144 pages
Reviewer: ChyD

Religious and motivational books usually bore the hell out of me, mostly because they lack creativity and engaging use of language. They are either verbose or mundane. This is not the case with ‘The Pursuit of God’.

This book, written by A. W Tozer in 1948, is powerfully stacked with words that birth yearning in the passive Christian. I had to get that out before I returned to my appreciation of his metaphorical style of writing. It’s undeniable that good writing makes books easier to read, especially for book-snobs like me. For this book, it’s not just poetic writing; it’s also the power contained in mere pages. The exactitude of his words pierces the heart and leaves the reader with heightened and repentant emotions all at the same time.

I started reading this book during a period where I was actively strategising for myself, how best to pursue the Lord and court him. The book was meant to be a self-help book to that effect. I suspect that made the book even more endearing to me. It was an FAQ to my exact questions, and even to the ones I didn’t know I had. It opened my eyes to the possibilities of intimacy.

Chapter 1: Following Hard after God 

‘To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too easily satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart’. 

This chapter expounded Paul’s relationship with God in Philippians 3: 8-10. He wanted to know Christ (although he knew him enough to be the spiritual father of many of the early churches) and experience the power that raised him from the dead. He wanted to suffer with him, sharing in his death. 

We’re in a time where, at the ushering of a new year, it is popular to make trendy statements asking God to exclude us from his list of strong soldiers- a statement that inadvertently asks for exemption from pruning, discipline, and correction. These trendy statements betray our lukewarmness and complacency in striving to know the lord. While we are opting out of suffering, Paul said he wanted to suffer with him, sharing in his death. This level of craving is the sweet core of the Christian life. The Igbos of Nigeria would call it Mmimi– the sweet fluid trapped in bones. 

Chapter 2: The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing 

“It’s all right, Abraham. I never intended that you should actually slay the lad. I only wanted to remove him from the temple of your heart that I might reign unchallenged there. I wanted to correct the perversion that existed in your love’’ 

This chapter tore open my heart and exposed it before the Lord. No, it brought to my remembrance that the Lord sees even the lies I tell myself. 

I said to the Lord, “There is no need to lie to myself in hopes that if I believe it, you’ll believe it. You know parts of me that I’m yet to know and parts I will probably never know”. 

For Abraham, it was perverted love for Isaac that he had to give up. For me, it is the need for success and addiction to pain. Tozer narrated how God would tolerate nothing having power over us the way he should. That sacred place in our hearts is His and His alone. 

“So now that the cards are on the table, Lord, you have my permission to tear these idols out of my heart, though I bleed”. 

Chapter 3: Removing the Veil 

‘Ignoble contentment takes the place of burning zeal. We are satisfied to rest in our judicial possessions and, for the most part, we bother ourselves very little about the absence of personal experience 

I realized the difference between being experientially in the presence of God in theory and being experientially in the presence of God actually when I began to be in the presence of God actually. And even now, I know I am scratching just the surface. Tozer wrote about how the presence should be experiential and ever-present. He argues that only doctrinal knowledge cannot spark the depth of worship that experience affords. His list of things weaved into the veil that keeps us complacent made me self-reflect: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love, and a host of others like them. 

Unsurprisingly, these are some of the things the world advocates for overall well-being. He concludes with the admission that these qualities are in our nature and we cannot do away with them ourselves. We must present our ‘self-life’ to God and let Him do the work. 

Chapter 4: Apprehending God 

“We apprehend the physical world by exercising the faculties given us for that purpose, and we possess spiritual faculties by means of which we can know God and the spiritual world if we will obey the Spirit’s urge and begin to use them’’. 

Tozer, in this chapter, emphasized how abstract God and the spiritual realm are to most Christians. We believe in God, but when the intricacy of this belief is dissected, it is found that it has no potency. He is merely an ideal or principle we must live by. Tozer says God is a person and can be known experientially, not just in theory. Our spiritual senses are as real as our physical senses, but because of how abstract the unseen world is to us, we have failed to develop our spiritual senses. I think of it as exercise. The more we work out, the more our muscles are toned and built. That takes time, tenacity, and pain. So, I guess the question is, how greatly do we yearn to know God and develop our spiritual senses? 

Chapter 5: The Universal Presence 

‘Men do not know that God is here. What a difference it would make if they knew. The Presence and the manifestation of the Presence are not the same. There can be the one without the other. God is here when we are wholly unaware of it. He is manifest only when and as we are aware of His presence’. 

Tozer hits us with the accusation that although the normal Christian doctrine says that God is everywhere, we believe it, but it is not actively in our consciousness. If it is, then instead of an ordinary Christian life, we would be living a glorious and radiant Christian life. The ever-present presence of God can best be thought of as us being in him and he in us. 

In Tozer’s words, He’s closer than our own souls, closer than our most secret thoughts. God doesn’t have select people that sees the manifestation of His presence. He has made Himself available to all and sundry. It is we who should turn to Him and accept His proposal, backing it up by opening ourselves to His nudges, His ways, and His guidance. 

Chapter 6: The Speaking Voice 

‘Every one of us has had experiences which we have not been able to explain—a sudden sense of loneliness, or a feeling of wonder or awe in the face of the universal vastness. Or we have had a fleeting visitation of light like an illumination from some other sun, giving us in a quick flash an assurance that we are from another world, that our origins are divine’. 

Most of us yearn to hear from God, and we can. We do. It’s not a superpower. He wants to be heard. He reaches out to us always. We’re either too cynical and wave off too many things as coincidences or too busy to notice even significant occurrences that are unexplainable. In one of my most recent experiences, I felt an indescribable shadow of joy cast over me at a time and a situation where the most reasonable thing to feel was sorrow. I knew it was God’s presence hovering over me. 

Going further, Tozer argued that all ‘beautiful’ inventions of man were inspired by God. He left us, however, with the choice to question that, so my question would be, what about evil inventions? Were they also God-inspired? This isn’t a smart way to put holes in his claims. It’s me plainly musing. 

Tozer said something profound. He said, ‘a word of God once spoken continues to be spoken’. He said this in reference to how we think that the Bible was spoken before God stopped speaking. God didn’t stop speaking, even in our time. He still speaks, and even the words in the Bible are still speaking to us. 

Chapter 7: The Gaze of the Soul 

‘While we are looking at God we do not see ourselves—blessed riddance. The man who has struggled to purify himself and has had nothing but repeated failures will experience real relief when he stops tinkering with his soul and looks away to the perfect One. While he looks at Christ, the very things he has so long been trying to do will be getting done within him. It will be God working in him to will and to do’. 

I chuckled reading the first line. You can tell Tozer is an exciting impressionist. He doesn’t think we should spend our lives defining faith because much of the Bible shows faith in practice more than in definition, except for Hebrews 11:1. Once our hearts have formed the habit, through fellowship, of looking unto Jesus, we have begun to practice faith. 

Chapter 8: Restoring the Creator-Creature Relation 

‘In our desire after God let us keep always in mind that God also has desire, and His desire is toward the sons of men, and more particularly toward those sons of men who will make the once-for-all decision to exalt Him over all. Such as these are precious to God above all treasures of earth or sea. In them God finds a theater where He can display His exceeding kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. With them God can walk unhindered; toward them He can act like the God He is’. 

It’s settling to know that we’re not alone in the pursuit of God, isn’t it? But of course, we are not. God extended the first olive branch. He gave His one and only Son. This makes me sure that I’m not pursuing someone who doesn’t want to be caught. In fact, He’s been wanting us, and it has been us skedaddling away. Our resolution to accept Him fully as our Lord and King is all that is needed for Him to shed His love and lordship over our lives. 

Chapter 9: Meekness and Rest

‘There is no release from our burden apart from the meekness of Christ. Good, keen reasoning may help slightly, but so strong is the vice that if we push it down one place, it will come up somewhere else’. 

I never understood the ‘yoke of God’ until I read this chapter. Tozer explained how being human is the very heavy yoke that was referred to in Matthew 11:29-30. Being human comes with emotions we have passed off as normal but eats into us deeper than any disease human nature has ever experienced. 

He delineated how the widely preached self-love is an enormous burden. Self-love makes us care about ourselves so much that the world’s view of us rattles us to the point of immobility. We fold up and lose every sense of identity when we are not chosen or when we are looked down on. We’re afraid of presenting ourselves exactly the way we are in an effort at self-preservation. It’s great that he highlighted that we could take account of these things and try to manually change them, but when we push it down, it comes up from somewhere else. This is not a message of doom. In fact, it is a message of deliverance because it’s God who takes this burden of humanness from us and gives us His light burden of self-forgetfulness. 

Chapter 10: The Sacrament of Living

‘Paul’s exhortation to “do all to the glory of God” is more than pious idealism. It is an integral part of the sacred revelation and is to be accepted as the very Word of Truth’. 

Tozer underscored the guilt of the dual lives Christians live- the separation between spiritual activities and ordinary activities of our everyday life. But if Paul said that whether you are eating or drinking, do it to the glory of God, it means that even the mundane things of our everyday life should be considered glorious. 

It makes me think of times when I have craved food for a while, and then the feasting moment comes, and I’m usually wrapped in deep and sincere thankfulness to God for creating food. That’s worship. That’s holiness. 

He used our perfect example, Jesus, as an example of living in the flesh and doing human activities, and yet doing everything to the glory of God. Jesus ate, drank, and worked as a carpenter. Yet the Bible recorded that he lived a blameless life, and his life was to the glory of God. This should give rest to the need to demarcate our lives. Everything we do is holy from the moment we dedicate our lives to Christ, be ye eating or preaching. God accepts both with equal pleasure. 

If, after reading this review, you don’t want to read the actual book, it’s either that I didn’t do a good job portraying the endless depth of the book, or you are not ‘there’ yet. If it is the former, I apologize for my shortcomings. You may just have to take my word for it and read it. If it is the latter, no need to stress. The Lord will get you there when he gets you there. 

Lord, whatever height or depth I can attain in my knowledge of you is not worked out by me and it’s such a relief. I only have to depend on you, but it turns out that even the dependence can also only be achieved through you. It’s apparent that without you, I can do nothing. It’s a sweet relief, and I have come to you with as much surrender as I can manage, and I ask you that you unbutton any part of me that has unconsciously refused to lose itself in your presence. Take me and do with me as you want. I desire to know you more, feel you more, touch you more, and taste you more. I rest in the confidence that you’ll reveal yourself to me more and more because you want to. Keep me here in your presence for all the revelations in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Fear of Freedom

Free will can be God’s will

But Lucy in his craft has created customs and traditions that keep you caged

Maya knows why the caged bird sings

It sings of freedom that comes alive only in dreams

It sings of power and triumph over wickedness

Wickedness dressed in fear’s fashion label

The sophisticated fear of being seen or known

The colour blocking fear for tomorrow

The conventional fear of being disagreeable

Or just the casual fear of leaving your comfort zone

If only the caged bird could stop romanticising her cage long enough to pick the lock

Nobody wants to hear the shrill tune of deep sorrowful lyrics

Action speaks louder than songs

It will fall before it learns how to fly again

The free fall, an exercise of its free will because it knows God’s will

And even if it falls to the ground, the few seconds of living is better than an eternity of letting life pass by.

Live!

Nothing will happen

The worst that could happen is death

And to die is gain

ChyD
© 2026

A Literary Rally of Love and Hurt

In the Penspeak Community UNEC, February Freestyles were a joy. On February 7, 2025 Iruoma kicked off;

A pilgrim’s journey to a world of plain
where I burned every bridge to find a way
My cardiac compass led me through this rugged terrain
With convictions so strong to betray
I followed to discover, this beacon of light
But each step, was a test of will
And every staking breath I lived
Was a stench in misery to give

Every turn was a sink, in a pool of despair
Every weight crushing, without a care
Yet to this world of plain, a beautiful siege, I found solace
To its music in echieteka, I danced deep to its rhythm
In ignorance of the consequences to come
The demons with enticing melody sing,
luring my lost soul to eternal doom
every move was a compromise
And Peace sold in delicate balance between darkness and light

I’ve found a different route,
where life and light entwine, A world of truth
A world of hope, the saints eternal home.
I see the truth now
And with heart in total devotion
I sing a unique symphony, that echoes the sound of a soul that’s free.

February 14, 2025 A freestyle by Neche Goodnews

We met like faith intended
Astrologers say the stars aligned for us
Palmists tap our palms and declared our fates intertwined
The dibia sees our one future
I don’t really care about all that
I care about what God says for us

What use is a tree without wood, a human without intelligence, a skyscraper without its framework?
Of what use is my world without you in it?
Its uses become less and less till it becomes useless

My one of a kind, my unique, my priceless discovery
You’re not a cog in a machine, not a gear
You’re my complement
My joy irreplaceable
There’s no other you, it’s just you
The thought of another is sacrilegious to me
People pray for a MumZee moment but I got that when we found our spark
Oko mi, Ololufe mi, a furu m gị na anya
Take a seat by my right side and let me show the world my irreplaceable one

Friday 21, 2025 Iruoma began;

Of all terrestrial blessings bestowed
The celestial luminaries that twinkle
Breath that marks the beauty of living
The blessed morning dew that falls
The greatest of all treasures beyond compare
Is God’s gift of his son, christ.

Neche Goodnews then followed through;

A knock on the door, a greetings at the door post, a welcome and an attempt at conversion
A knock at another door, greetings once again, but this time dismissal and rejection is given

The sacred journey of the missionaries
Wanderers of the Holy order
Marked by the Omni being
A higher placement than Cain they are not stained
They have not slain but are prepared to take the pain of the bane

God’s front line, God’s bravest
Courage that dwarfs that of David
Faith that rivals Abraham’s
Only his most daring actually take up this holy order, this great commission

You look flabbergasted, who is this Omni being I speak of that would be willing to do this to his most daring followers?
Whose orders? What orders?
Your heart knows who he is
Your lips shapen to speak his name
He is the one your heart beats for, it’s first love
He goes by I AM THAT I AM
The Bible does well to speak of him in details

Wanna know what those others are?
Have you heard of The Great Commission?
The good news brought unto the world
Grab your book and take notes
You have a lot to learn
Let me introduce you to salvation

That is it for February! Stay loved, stay blessed! The March will be glorious

Authors
Iruoma
Neche Goodnews

The Lover’s Recipe

While everyone around the world was basking in the euphoria of the acclaimed love day (Valentine’s Day), Penspeak Community UNIZIK got busy with their pens and spent the day reliving the nostalgia of God’s love.

The floor was thrown up and Delight blew us away with this piece;

 WHOSE ORDERS?

That a tiny acorn will make a mighty forest 
Wasn’t the loamy soil’s words to utter.
Dear child…I speak in voices as ancient as before.
I gave you gifts not like anyone else’s 
But you chose to be photographed through distorted lenses.
You followed rules written by hands you will never shake
Then ending at crossroads, you asked me “Lord what’s your take?
Those rules were written by hand…
Funny how you are ignorant to the power embedded in yours
You obeyed the “rites” discarding the “rights”
What a perfect mismatch you are!!
You were told to silence your own voice for the sake of the loud…
The loud voice said “conform” but in your heart you felt torn.
Torn between the needs of your soul and the rule you have been sold.
Is it freedom you seek or a cage in gold?
Bound by lines drawn by a mentally distorted ruler’s ruler
They said “follow” and you never asked why
You were wheedled to be fine with “just fine”.
They raised you to be small but your heart beats loud…louder than their expectations.
Dear child…if you would… listen.
The elders might call this rebellion 
But I call it my divine intention 
Your dreams and desires are my design
Your handwritten lifeline, mine to sign
Your steps are earthquakes in their shallow puddles
You are to build bridges where they said walls stood
You are not a footnote in their stories.
You are the headline yet they don’t want to see your headlines.
Prior to forming you, I knew thee.
I know your deepest sleep even your purest glee 
So, whose orders if not mine?

Mc Wisdom came in right after and dropped this;

GOOD FOOD

Just can’t wait until it gets to the plate
Aromas that dance, through a culinary state
Tenderly cooked, with love and with care
Each bite a story, beyond compare

The cutting, slicing, sizzling, crackling, mixing,
 a continuous process that lives you wanting and yawning 

Oh, the joy of good food, that brings us together
A universal love language,
The norming around the dinner table 
The joy and laughter that’s uncontrollable, that transcends this weather, and leaves you warm.

A taste of nostalgia, a hint of home.
Good food that nourishes the body and soul,
Makes you forget your problem for a moment, leaving you whole.

So, here’s to the chefs, the cooks, and the bakers
The farmers, the fishermen, and the food makers
My mom, dad, siblings, friends, family 
Thank you for the feast, for the flavours and the fun
Good food that brings us to the table, as one.

With the floor and curtains intact, Delight waltz in with so much inspiration and gave us;

HOSEA 2🥰

I was once yours, you were once mine.
But in the shadows, you slipped away,  
Chasing after lovers who didn’t care,  
Trading true love for a false comfort,  
An affair with idols, a broken vow in the temple of desire.  
You left me but every step you took, I felt it,  
Every kiss you gave, I tasted it.  
Your heart wandered, but mine stayed rooted,  
Waiting, holding on,  
Gripping the promise of what was.

But love is not blind– it sees the truth,  
And the truth cuts deep.
So, hear me now:  

I will no longer cover your shame,  
I will no longer veil your mistakes, for you’ve turned your back, 
And I must speak of the consequences.  
The gates will close, the blessings will fade,  
Your fields will wither, and your heart will ache,  
As the world you built crumbles beneath your feet.  
But in this silence, in this solitude,  
You’ll hear my voice again and I won’t leave you there,  

For even in the wilderness,  
I am here, I will allure you,  
I will call your name and I will take you back,  
Not as a servant, but as my bride.  
I’ll speak comfort to your broken heart,  
Restore the years you’ve lost to wandering,  
Your valley of despair will become a place of hope,  
Your shame will be washed clean,  
And the shame you once wore,  
Will be replaced with a crown of righteousness.  
I will lead you to a new covenant, A promise of peace,  
Where love reigns.
Where mercy is poured like rain on dry ground,  
Where my faithfulness holds you close. I will be your God,  
And you will be my people,  
And together, we’ll make all things new.  
The name you once wore,  
The name of betrayal,
Will be changed.  
You will be called “My Delight,”  
And I will call you “My Beloved.”  

Forever,  
And nothing will ever tear us apart again.

What a love! What a God! See you next month for another freestyle!

Authors
MC WISDOM
DELIGHT SHEKELS

New year new faith

Penspeak Communities across Nigeria have recently taken up Freestyle Fridays hosted by The Godzniel. This is a collection of poems from Penspeak Community UNIZIK freestyles in January 2025.

Our very own MC Wisdom set the Christendom ball rolling,

Ladies and gentlemen,
Listen up, I’ve got a message for the masses
To the ones who think they can hold me back, I’ve got a few words to amass

This is not another new year, new me
And to everything and everyone who dissed me
This year you better receive sense, so free me

I’ll rise above the noise, I’ll shine like the morning sun
On every stage, I will stand my ground, call me the chosen one

So, to whom it may concern, listen up and take heed
I’m the MC WISDOM not to be reckoned with, my voice is a thunder that comes with a lightning decree

I’ll speak my truth, I’ll stand my ground
I’ll be the change, I’ll turn things around

So, watch me rise, watch me soar
I’m untamed and unstoppable, so sit back and watch out for more “MC WISDOM”

Just as we were still in awe of this grace, Delight came and gave us;

SCREENSHOT OF FAITH

In a world that judges by value and birth,
To us…the dreamers and the doers,
What shall we say to these things?
In a world of scrolling, tapping and clicking,
Where moments pass like a flash, never quite stopping.
There is one thing we capture, though abstract even to the believer.

You know,
The Youth today are chasing dreams
Like flashes on a screen…
Flickering fast, chasing fast, but what does this mean?
One wrong step, one wrong foot…
And you are back to square one questioning your truth.
Faith, they say, is the light at the end of the tunnel.
But what if the tunnel’s a mirror, a reflection of your struggles?
Like a dog chasing its tail, we run around in circles,
Dreams dangle like carrots, but we can’t even find the hurdles.
Irony lives here, right here in our struggle to rise,
The higher we reach, the higher the price we pay.

We keep chasing this lady ‘success’ just as she waltzes away,
More like the sun which rises but still sets at the end of the day…
We live in a world where everything is loud,
Where the pressure to rise feels like breaking the crowd!
We post, we hustle, we strive for the spotlight,
Trying to make a name in a world full of wrongful rights.
We keep chasing followers, likes and applause,
But the real faith is not about these shallow laws.

A screenshot of Faith is the courage to start.
It’s trusting yourself when the world says ‘wait’ …
It’s finding your power even when the world system says it’s too late.
It’s not about the speed or how fast you fly
It is just the courage to leap even when you can’t touch the sky!
It will tell you to walk, and then vanish from your sight
Leaving you wondering, “Am I wrong or right?”
So trust me when I say this one can’t be saved to your gallery… it’s not a picture, it’s more than a name.
It is the belief that in time we all shall find our flame.

We wrap up our freestyles here. It’s always an honor to be part of this. See you next month.

Authors
MC WISDOM
DELIGHT SHEKELS

A tale of compassion and faith

Penspeak Communities across Nigeria have recently taken up Freestyle Fridays hosted by The Godzniel. This is a collection of poems from Penspeak Community UNEC freestyles in January 2025.

From the watchtower, Iruoma cried out:

I am compassion, a gentle breeze
That calms a raging soul and quiets pain to freeze
I run in obscurity, yet understanding I seek
To heal a silent wound that mouth can’t utter

Like flower that blooms in desert oasis
So am I, a savour taste to the broken soul
I’m a badge of mercy, worn by one who’s torn
An irresistible gentle word, that calms a storm

I see beyond the fist, the anger and pain
And serve a feast of kindness, to wash the heart’s deep stain
I’m a dose of hope, that keeps each day aglow
A beacon of light, in the darkest place I go

I am compassion, I offer listening ears
Pay attention and owe no debt to negligence
I am the greatest gift to humanity
The loudest voice of love
I walk enduring miles
Leaving trails of smiles

Taking the wheel again, Iruoma launched:

With heart swift and low on  paths unknown
I plead to listen to the quiet whisper, that binds me whole
With convictions strong on choices made

I plead to heed the persistent voice of truth
With barns so enriched, and yards full of glittering gold
I pray to harvest, with mind full of sight

To sift grain from chaff, and separate truth from false
And with each step to embark, a journey of uncertainty
I pledge to trust the gentle guide

For He’s the spirit of the divine, with mysteries to unveil
He grants a sense of immortality, in the stillness, a peaceful knowing of secrets untold.
And moments to disobey in doubt, are times to will in regret

Not wanting the momentum to die out, Neche Goodnews took the baton on the relay:

 “Wish upon a shooting star and make your wish come true”
Senior said to me as we stared at the night sky
“So, make the wish”, he said to me as I was beholding the awe of the star littered sky
I close my eyes and make my wish and open my eyes into the present
A decade had gone by but I still reminisce the days gone by
I fasten up my tie while facing the mirror

What a decade it has been
Peril and strife fought their way into my world but I persevered
The psychological breaks and lapses chipped away at my very soul but I didn’t derange
As I go towards my bag, a thought enters my mind and a smile is found on my face
“Your wish is profound and pure, its impact, ground shaking, all I might not see it actualised but I can behold its potential”
Senior said to me, that was one of our last conversations
“It’s no time to slack, the world will soon be in awe”
I say as I take my bag and leave my place

People see the outcome of reality
I behold a future of possibilities
My wish would ensure that
Until then, I carry on

See you next month!

Authors:
Iruoma
Neche Goodnews

Culture Shock In Christianity

Science says freezing hot food causes freezer shock
But since we don’t do Lukewarm
Luke warms the food back to back
Or freezes it till hell freezes over.
Let the freezer shock if it must.

The day I told my mum I won’t go to hell
Even if I die fornicating
She shouted ‘chi’m egbu’m ooo’.
‘It’s funny-Kate how the devil is fighting for your life’.
Old people think they are wiser
But I have read my history books back and forth
And the devil lost the battle a long time ago.

I tell people not to bother using a mechanic
That I have a transformer that can transform
Their wretched Volkswagen to a Ferrari
But they are afraid to hug transformer
Even if it will only zap them to eternal life.

They say trade by barter is our culture
And the church continues trading her Joy.
Even after Christ said it’s not for sale,
They still couldn’t take despite their starvation.
Instead they borrow wears they can’t afford
Snapping and posting with two fingers up
Captioned ‘for the culture’

Chy’D
© 2020

Letter to Ola #5

Dear Olaedo,

On Prayers

I wish I could write ‘PRAYER WORKS‘, drop the mic and hope you would understand enough to appreciate the depth of that truth.

Perhaps, after I tell you the story of my friend, Onuegbu, you would understand better. To protect his identity, we’ll call him Onuegbu. He and I became friends in 2013. He calls me his best friend although I don’t feel worthy of the title. His life is devoid of true friendship which perhaps is why he considers the little I offer the best he has ever had.

Onuegbu has a beautiful heart and sees only the good in people. I have never heard him talk ill of anybody even when people constantly leave his back fiercely itching after he has done a thorough job scratching their backs.

Nobody wants to drown with a drowning person.

Life is not as fair to him as he is to life’s benefactors.

Onuegbu has sickle cell anemia and ordinarily, he may have been able to cope comfortably if well treated but his financial state is so unstable, he could barely eat, let alone afford medications.

His health got so bad that his family abandoned him and he was left alone to cater for himself. Being his friend has its dark side. He always needs company. It helps in distracting him from the pains of stiffening bones and excruciating pains.

I think talking about his problems is a form of therapy for him so even when my own life is crashing, I would stay on the phone for hours and listen to him complain.

The difficulty in feeding is the most heartbreaking part. He would call and ask for as little as a transfer of N500 to eat as he had not eaten all day.
I prayed first in 2015 for his healing. Oh well, it continued. I prayed again in August 2020. This time, I fasted for 3 days.

He wanted to give up. He was ready to commit suicide. His hustle has been fruitless. The lack of capital wasn’t helping matters. Each time he got a little money to put into something, his health would knock him down and he would use the money to pay hospital bills.

He was in so much anguish and I couldn’t take it. I prayed and fasted for a way; for something to work for him. I kept asking how he felt from time to time as I prayed but nothing changed. (Ha. I was tired oh. What’s all this nah?)

It can be frustrating when you can do little to alleviate such pain from a friend’s life. The darkness is contagious. (You don’t contact the sickle cell silly. You just drown in misery alongside him).

This was us until we got a glimmer of hope yesterday.

I replied to a tweet by Ozzy Etomi on Twitter yesterday and talked about my anemic friend and his ordeal in a brief yet explicit manner.

It got a lot of reactions and comments from people sending their love and light, and other anemic people saying that sickle cell anemia can easily be lived with but with medications and good food which involves money.
One particular man replied and asked me to give his international number to my friend to contact him as he would like to be of assistance!
Glory!

We’ll be calling our man ‘Godsent’.
Onuegbu chatted up Godsent on WhatsApp and after a long talk, GodSent said he will set up a business fully for him.

Did I cry? Yes. The pieces of my thankfulness were all over the place and I wished I could mould it into a clay medal of thankfulness and present it wholly to God.

Instead, I sang ‘Great is thy faithfulness’, then muttered words in tongues, then exploded in laughter after which crying followed.
The crying and laughter started happening so concurrently that I couldn’t differentiate my laughter from my cry.

Long pause.

Tongues again.

Plain words of gratitude.

Blast of memories.

Feelings of inadequacy because I could not mould a perfect ‘thank you’.

I curled up and breathed softly knowing that even my breath was drawing invisible strokes of thankfulness in the air.

Your Mama


ChyD

©2020