Me: But we’re meant to be sheep, meek, lowly, tamed, unconfrontational, peace-loving – quiet. How do you juxtapose that with “as bold as a lion”?

Him: I am The Lion and the Lamb

Me: Lord, that’s you, I could never be you.

Him: I have called you to be like me. You are part of me.

Me: But I can’t Lord, I can’t be bold, I am frail and weak, I show no strength. I’m easily tossed about. I’m constantly seeking the peace and the quiet but everything’s loud, sl loud.

Him: In this world, you will have trouble but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Me: The world you sent me to is sucking the life out of me.

Him: I am the Way, truth and life

Me: It is flooding my heart and my mind with irrepressible thoughts of inadequateness, incompleteness, emptiness, and frailty.

Him: I am your joy and your strength.

Me: Then why can’t I fight back? Why do I always have to suppress those thoughts, hoping they can go away, but you know they never do? Why do I just cry and cry and hope no one sees me crying and then I cry some more? Why does it feel like I’m failing you? You’ve put so many things in my hands, and I can’t juggle them to perfection, and it crushes me to think that I’m a failure in your sight. I want to run away from everything, I don’t want any of it anymore.

Him: Be still and know that I am God. I’ve been through everything you’ve been through and more, and that’s how I know you can be as bold as a lion.

Me: How?

Him: Because I haven’t given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

Me: I don’t feel like that.

Him: Walk by faith, not by sight.

Me: But I’m failing you!

Him: Did you ever hear me say that?

Me: Nope.

Him: So why do you think that?

Me: Because I haven’t met my goals for the year.

Him: Who set those goals?

Me: I did. I needed to. Otherwise, I’d be lazy and complacent.

Him: Then you should have asked me for strength and grace when you needed it. You should have committed your ways to me, and I would have ordered your steps. You shouldn’t have looked away from me and focused on yourself. You are frail, but I am your strength. You can’t accomplish anything outside of me, and guess what? I never leave you. I’m right here. Always here.

Me: Lord…

Him: When I say that you are as bold as a lion, I mean that because I am with you, you are as bold as a lion. I am the lion and the lamb, I strengthen you and keep you humble. You just have to trust me.

Me: 😭😭😭😭 I still have those thoughts, I can’t seem to stop them.

Him: Sing a new song to me. Take a walk through my words. Talk with my Spirit. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. My yoke is not heavy. It’s light. So, don’t take on what I didn’t give to you. Bask in my presence, take in deep breaths, and take a slice of heaven wherever you go. Only when you do this will boldness, joy, and strength always be with you.

 IfiokAbasi Okop
©2024